Pagan Parenting for the Under 5’s Column

Welcome back to my column, I hope you enjoyed last month’s article. Please be sure to send me an email to callista83@cogeco.ca if you have a comment, suggestion or question.

This month we will be talking about ceremonies for the Pagan child. There are many different types of ceremonies that can be done for many different purposes. Ceremonies can be done from before birth up until after death but since this article is about Under 5’s I will be focusing on then. Specifically this month I will be focusing on ceremonies for Under 1’s.

So what are the main types of ceremonies for Under 1’s? There are four:

1. Pre-Birth
2. Birth Celebration
3. Naming
4. Dedication (Wiccaning/Paganing)

Pre-Birth Ceremonies

So first we have the ceremonies and rituals that are done before the baby is born. These can be as early as when you first find out you have conceived to as late as during labour. Conceiving a child is a wondrous thing, even more so if you have been trying for a long time or had to use outside help. So it makes sense that you might want to have a celebration when it happens. This could just be a party or you can make it into a blessing or protection spell for the child (and mom.) What you should include in it depends heavily on what sort of Pagan path you are on and what you do in the way or magick. If you want to bless your unborn child, you may want to call on a God or Goddess of unborn children and ask that they provide protection. You can also do a spell that involves rubbing something on your belly (e.g. apple half, leaf, stone) while envisioning any bad energies being absorbed into it and then burying it in the ground.

You may also want to do some magick to help ease childbirth. Meditation can be very helpful if done correctly. If you don’t meditate regularly, doing it just when you are in labour is not going to help at all. Meditation takes practice. If you can get your hands on these four stones: amethyst, clear quartz crystal, chrysoprase and aventurine, then put them together into a small pouch and hold it against your womb during labour. Afterwards give the stones away as gifts, perhaps to another expectant mother.

Birth Celebration

After your baby is born, you may want to do a ritual or ceremony to celebrate a safe birth and again set up some protection and blessings from deity. The ceremony would be similar to the one done before birth but you may want to find a deity that specializes in babies. You might like to invite family and friends and have everyone give a gift or verbal blessing to the child.

Naming Ceremony

In many cultures around the world a child is not given their name until a certain amount of time has passed. For some it’s 24 hours, for some it’s 8 days and some longer. We don’t always know why the certain date is so special to their culture however sometimes it has to do with ensuring the child will survive. In years past when many children died in infancy, people didn’t name their baby until they felt surer it would survive. North American culture rarely does a naming ceremony at all, let alone waits a certain period of time. It’s up to you whether you want to give your child his or her name right away in a ceremony, give the name right away but wait for the ceremony to make it official or wait a certain amount of time to give the name and ceremony. A naming ceremony should be special and include a gift, perhaps a necklace or bracelet with the name engraved or in beads. You can invite others or keep it just the immediate family but even still, it’s nice to state why the name was chosen and what it means.

Dedication/Wiccaning/Paganing

The term Wiccaning is well known among the Pagan community but is really only correct if you are also Wiccan. I’ve heard the term Paganing before but never by anyone who had held one. Whatever you feel like calling it, it’s basically to dedicate your child to your chosen path, at least until the child is old enough to make a decision for his or herself. A quick Internet search will turn up some rituals you can use but you will most likely find that while you like parts of each, you don’t like all of any one. This was my problem and so I took those parts I liked, changed them and added to them and came up with a ritual I was happy with.

Here are some points you should know:

q When you hold the Dedication is up to you. You should probably choose a date that is significant to you, such as a year and a day from conception or from birth. Keep in mind that the younger the child, the less they will try to get out of your arms and touch the altar but the older child is more likely to be awake during it and able to participate a little more.

q You should invite friends and family although I realize that some Pagans just don’t have anyone else they know that would be comfortable at a ritual. If this is the case you have two options. Either keep it immediate family or make it a very general dedication ceremony where you mention dedication to a God but not which one. You would have to make it very simple and not mention or do anything Pagan. Your altar should be a simple white candle and picture of the baby and/or parents.

q The ritual can be simple or complex, whatever works best for you, your family and your child. The younger the child, the longer the ceremony generally. It’s okay if they sleep through it, it’s not like they will be putting a hand on a holy book and reciting an oath.

q Indoors or Out? Your choice again, (Seeing a pattern here? There is no right or wrong way to do it.) Outdoors is generally preferable for a Pagan ritual but sometimes there just isn’t a way to do it outdoors either because of the season or availability or discrimination.

Summary

So why bother with any or all of these ceremonies anyways? Celebration makes a person feel good and important. Even though your children won’t remember the ceremony, knowing that you considered them important enough to hold one will make them feel as special as you know they are.

Next month I’ll talk about rituals/ceremonies for ages 1-5.

author: Kaylana Anaya