PTSD and the Pagan

It's hard sometimes being a Soldier and suffering the traumas of the battlefield. I was first diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 1997 when I was sent to Lahndstuhl Army Hospital in Germany. I suffered severe nightmares, aggression, and depression at times. I was very emotional and had a hard time talking about the events in Somolia when I was there as a medic in 1993. Somolia was hell, plain and simple and I saw many traumatic events and will write a book about it one day when I get around to writing my memoirs. I was never treated for PTSD but diagnosed and sent on my way to deal with it on my own as PTSD was never taken serious back then until it became an issue in our Soldiers coming back from Iraq. I did two tours in Iraq from 2004-2006 and that was the straw that broke the psychiatric back. I came back home in an angry rage after the last tour and being in the combat environment, coupled with being a Pagan leader and seeing the discrimination and utter disregard from leaders and chaplains alike from our own military was enough to push me right over the edge. I still suffered nightmares, went into periods of 'spacing-out', periods of depression and anxiety at being around crowds. I take medication today and see a therapist once a week, but still don't go out of the house unless it's late at night to do our shopping. I don't drive but take the local transit. As a Pagan, the forest and nature bring me solitude and peace of mind. Michelle has bipolar so we are both pretty much house bound for the most part. Walks in the woods are our times of peace and mental relaxation. Communion with nature is a mental washing and allows us to drain the emotional baggage we carry.

There is a wonderful organization I also wish to mention which we will be getting psychiatric service dogs from that are donated to our service members called Puppies Behind Bars, found at _www.puppiesbehindbars.com_ <http://www.puppiesbehindbars.com/> I would encourage anyone who knows a Soldier who suffers from PTSD to check them out. Having a Service dog will allow us to get out amongst people and have a peace of mind that we have a friend taking care of us. The latest statistic I heard was 30% of our Troops coming home from Iraq will have PTSD but I believe that number to be much higher and something everyone should be aware of. I used to teach the PTSD class to our unit on Ft Lewis and believe everyone should be aware of what it entails.

As a Pagan what does this mean to us? Well, I personally see it for me as a learning experience. How can I help others with problems unless I myself suffer through it? I also see this as one of the downfalls of being a Pagan Warrior but is it such a downfall? I like the old adage, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". I believe this to be true. My combat days are over but that doesn't mean the fight is over. The days of fighting as a Pagan and for our beliefs to be truly accepted by society will never end and that fight will never be over and is much needed. I would never change any of my experiences in the military in the last 19 years as I see it as my growth periods and allowing me to be the way I' am today. As a Pagan you have many advantages over the mundane. Take a walk in the forest and allow your pain to ground in the earth. Hug a tree. You must always remember to live one day at a time and know your spirit guides and totems will never leave you and never let you handle more then your mind can take. You go through your experiences for a reason and that reason will one day be disclosed. I wear an amethyst point in and out of uniform and that is my peace stone. I also encourage lavender oil on your forehead and wrists. In Iraq, we drank valerian and chamomile tea and had our nightly mental unwind sessions and that helped our Desert Moon troops cope the day-to-day battle stresses. I see that as a much needed mechanism for our troops and unfortunately its not done often enough. Rose Quartz is excellent for nightmares, place one under your pillow and ensure that is the intent you place on the stone and will aid in nightmare ease. Apple green candles are good for focusing emotional pain onto, as are white candles for cleansing the mind. I firmly believe a Soldier with PTSD should keep their mental shields up as the mind is much more vulnerable and prone to psychic attacks. Journaling is a good aid in getting those feeling and emotional baggage to the surface and then take them and ground. Always remember too there is never a replacement for mental health and sometimes seeing a therapist is necessary.

My dream with Desert Moon Sanctuary is also as a safe-haven for the mind and healing grounds we can aid those that need the help a natural place can give. It will also be a discrimination fighting and education center to teach those that are confused by what a Pagan is and is not.

In closing, if you or someone you know is facing PTSD always remember it is not the end but only a beginning of a new venture. Your deities and totems will never fail you and the earth is always here for you to ground upon. There is always help, you only need ask and understand what it is you have or are facing, until next time, Blessings.

author: Medicyne_Eagle