Hally’s Hints
Hally Rhiannon Nammu May 1st, 2009
Is Blood Thicker than Water?
I deliberated over this month’s article. I have had so many things happen on a personal level this month that have challenged me, predominantly on a metaphysical level. It is strange how even in the darkest times that light can find its way through.
So, as I am a big believer of writing from the heart, I thought it would benefit everyone the most, if I did exactly that. This article is not about motivation or “feel good”, it is about standing true when everything logical seems to lose its place.
Before you read this, know that it comes from my heart and what is in yours may be different, so you don’t have to agree with me. I hope there are some out there that tell me it is different for them – I welcome it!
For me, it has been an awakening of connecting to my ever faithful spirit guides and learning that no matter who someone is, who we believe them to be, that sometimes, they aren’t. The ability of accepting this is where growth happens, even through the tears of truth.
Family… our parents; our siblings and our relatives. Our lives revolve around them and they can have more power over us than we care to admit. What does this all really mean in the greater scheme of things?
The saying that blood is thicker than water comes to mind. So much time is spent trying to appease our family and yet, most of us fail. Maybe the problem is that if we weren’t related and if these people were friends we probably would have dropped them a long time ago.
It then poses the question of where to draw the line when your “family” disregard, disrespect and believe controlling your every move is normal.
Control is an interesting thing in a family. We find ourselves believing that without it we cannot exist or that we lose something of ourselves. This tends to then force some of us to believe that we can maintain order and a level of sanity in our lives by trying to control those around us through mind games, guilt trips as well as using the “family” card.
Perhaps the creation of our families is not to have a harmonious life together supporting each other on our journeys, perhaps we find ourselves with these dysfunctional people to learn about ourselves; to learn what it is to compromise and remove judgement when that is all we feel.
It is said that each person comes into our lives for a specific purpose, so I wonder what your family means to you and your journey…
I would like to think that there are some out there with families that provide the support and unconditional love that we all hear about. That in essence, the symbolism of a family, when with pure intent, is magical and has the ability to evolve into something beyond the material world.
Whatever your relationship is with your family there is no right or wrong. Whatever your purpose is on your journey it is highly possible that the role of your family members is to highlight and confront matters others would ignore.
It is human nature to judge and compete. Ironically most of us are familiar with this due to growing up with the rivalry of our siblings. Some of us as adults are now wonderful friends and then there are those where the rift will never heal.
So, I ask the question – is blood thicker than water? Are we delusional in believing that our birth family is anything more than a reminder of all the things we want to avoid?
I would like to think of the birth family as a starting point. They are a reminder of where you have come from and not necessarily where you end up. If you evolve and they do not then the affect of water will follow – you will flow apart. Only if the thickness between you i.e. the symbolism of blood and connection is retained through communication, compromise, honesty and a willingness to accept irrelevant of all else, then you will create a stronger bond that will last for a lifetime.
Most of the families I know struggle to retain any sense of compassion and understanding. I have even found the family that stands by you is not the one from birth, but the one you created yourself. This would suggest that blood is not about birth right, it is about the bond and the connection. When you see your birth family in its truth without the façade of childhood emotion, you sometimes see things never thought possible. We all strive to be better people; we all strive to have a fulfilling life – how does your family support this?
Family to me is not about birth right. It is about connecting by standing in your own truth and sometimes this means disconnecting from those that you grew up with.
It is accepting without understanding and loving without judgement. It is knowing that no matter what you will both be there for each other because of the invisible bond that brought you together – and with this in mind, your blood may not be related but it will create a synergy that will not be lost when the tide changes.
Consider who in your life is part of your family and what this means to you…
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- Comments(2)
hi hally…so mote it be, i say to you!
at 40 some odd years of age and under immense emotional pressure, i “accepted” a bi-polar diagnosis…i needed a label which i now, at nearly 61 years of age, was how i solved not understanding the emotional addiction to my large, italian family of origin…the firstborn girl of 4 boys and 2 other girls, i was a mess and caught between the dysfunction of my parents and KNOWING IN MY HEART OF HEARTS THAT I WAS NOT BORN WITH THIS IMBALANCE!..
it took me 11 days in a hospital crisis unit and a final “hang up” on a phone conversation i was having with my youngest sister, to FINALLY GET MYSELF HEALTHY…i left the states without telling anyone my plans until the last minute…i went to scotland…set some boundaries for the rest of my life…and LET ‘ER RIP!…while abroad i could see how few limits and boundaries i had REALLY set with my family…i was SSSOOO previously worried about their thoughts and judgements, that i was leading someone else’s life…it surely was not my own!…
now, nearly 2 years without any medication, depression, mania, doctors or counselor’s visits, i
i see myself whole and complete AND LEADING MY OWN LIFE…
yes, blood can be so thick that it is a harbinger of death and not life…we each need to know when to let go and when to spend time with our families…IF IT DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT IN YOUR HEART, don’t do it!…i still am thankful for the foundation that my family has given me…
i took my life back when i decided that i needed to live an independent life that included choices that were “customized” for me…
thanks for giving me the space to write this…and by the way, i am publishing a book trilogy called, 3 Wings Waving, that is an adult cut out book to help people heal like i did…
I grew up within a family where “you stick with family no matter what”, but my mother’s side simply hated my dad. Several of them tried to impress their viewpoints on me for years, to the point it devolved into name-calling [on both sides] and a frustration that is constantly there no matter how nice everybody is. I can see they mean well, but when it’s hidden under a constant barrage of subtle put-downs and insults, one can only take so much….. Several are convinced that I have mental problems simply because I don’t blindly believe in what they think. Admittedly it still hurts, but my sanity is more important than their approval.
Since practicing a pagan path, I’ve become acutely aware of my self, my thinking and my feelings. Since I feel I cannot be around them without having the joy sucked out of me, I simply don’t deal with them. In lieu of blood family, I have several close friends whom I love and they love me. I feel the emotional connection and comraderie that I don’t have with my relatives and in some ways that has helped me heal a great deal of internal crap that wouldn’t have been resolved otherwise.