In my estimation the most written about topic in the pagan parenting community is the discussion regarding whether or not to raise your children pagan.  I have read perspectives of both sides and must say that each have valid points, all of which are dependent upon personal circumstances such as: geographical location, broader family acceptance and the spiritual philosophy of the parent/s.  Today I’m going to throw my two cents into the mix and broaden the spectrum of this topic to include any religion that a parent may follow not just the pagan path.

I believe that the core of this debate is based in a parent’s personal philosophy regarding the education of their child.  As primary caregivers we are responsible for teaching our children to eat, walk, and talk.  We instill manners, help them learn to dress, in short we teach them the basics of life as we know it; how to simply be human.

Next we begin to help with reading, writing, social interactions, and around this time our own actions begin to influence them.  They observe us in our day-to-day functions, relating to others, handling stress, working, cooking, and participating in the community.  They learn from our actions, take cues from what they see and the “nurture” parts of who they are form because of us.   For better or worse this occurs.  Here is where values, ethics and spirituality go hand and hand.  If your religious philosophy dictates that your offspring must be raised in the same tradition as your own you begin to teach your child all the lessons that your path holds.  There may be other community members that share the teaching duties like clergy, friends or family members and in some cases you may leave the teaching to others entirely rather than take the reins on that education yourself.  In the very least my hope is that you guide this spiritual/religious study and keep watch over the interpretation of the lessons that your child may absorb.   Be prepared for the possibility that when your child comes of age they reject your religion regardless of how successful you felt you were in their spiritual upbringing.

If you are of a more free form mindset you may have decided to let your child pick his or her own path when they are older.  This idea is valid since forcing your path onto your child can cause tension later on or rebellion from it altogether.  In several discussions on this choice I have heard the poignant perspective that while letting your child discover what path they want to pursue is admirable leaving them flapping in the wind with no direction at all is unfair.  After all one can only learn about the different world religions if they are exposed to them and if you are left completely to your own devices at a young age you may find that shopping, video games or watching movies is more worthy of your time than finding a spiritual path.  With that in mind the parent who wants to let their child discover their own belief system should still help them navigate the many religions and expose them to ideas if they want their child to have any success at determining where they want to be.

My own philosophy is still developing since my child is very young.  He is exposed to my belief system and his father’s.  My husband and I do not have the same beliefs but we have created a space for our son to navigate through the several religious choices that he has within just our family.  When the time is right and if his interest branches beyond our family’s borders we will walk him through the decisions that he will face and hopefully have healthy discussions about values and ethics and religion in general.  I take the education of my son’s spiritual self to be as important as learning math, English or computers.  He does not need to agree with my view of the cosmos or his father’s perspective on the existence of God, but he needs to know where he stands in relation to the questions of why we are here, what his purpose in life is and how he wants to bring ritual, celebration and meaning into his life.  I consider that to be part of my job in raising him to be a well rounded human being who will contribute to society and feel that he has a place on this planet.

Whether or not you decide that your children will be raised to call themselves Pagan or Christian or Hindu the work of parenting a spiritual child is complex.  The outcomes of your choices are nearly impossible to predict but enriching your child’s life with a sense or ritual, magic and tradition can give them lasting memories of a happy family pursuit regardless of which religion or spiritual path they make take in adulthood.  Hopefully when you come from a place of love and openness your child will have the freedom to become who they are meant to be without feeling pressured to fulfill your idea of how one should be a spiritual person.

Pregnant and Pagan

As I write today I am 31 weeks pregnant with my second child.  My body is preparing for the sacred event of bringing forth a baby, birthing both a new soul and a new version of the mother in myself.  Making the “mundane” moments of life sacred is part of my spiritual path.  Because pagans are nature/earth based in our beliefs it seems that we herald being in our bodies and treating them as temples.

I often wonder how we do at this though.  Do we really treat our bodies with the care and reverence that we have for our gods or our sacred places?  And when we go through these huge life and body altering phases do we connect them with our myths and legends or do we let the rather institutional approach to childbearing in particular shade our experience of these life milestones?

The energy that accompanies the birthing of a child is primal and connects one to all the women who have done it before.  It is a lineage of creation that is reflected in the earth’s roundness and fertility.  I believe that, I feel that, but it does not translate well into every day life.  Due to the limited time that I give to my personal practice while raising a young family the practicality of communion with deity or even this time around setting up an altar is lacking.  There are moments of bliss, moments of frustration and being uncomfortable and moments of fear.  The vessel that my body has become to bring forth this new life is overwhelming in its implication and yet so simple in its purpose at the same time.

Motherhood is venerated in many religions but also controlled tightly in the physical and practical sense.  So while one might feel empowered by Mother Mary’s birthing story as a Christian or just in general the joy in that story is certainly not easy to translate into sterile hospital rooms or with the use of interventions that the North American birth culture considers the norm.

Having chosen to birth our first son at home, as we plan again with our second son my husband and I stepped outside of the routine many find comforting choosing instead to let the process be as organic as possible.  The sacredness was not lost on me in the moments but it is also such a primal experience that it kept me from idealizing the experience too much.  So my approach to pregnancy, birth and motherhood is not one that I put on a pedestal, it is rooted in the holy dirt, held by the trees, and blows in whirlwinds with the leaves.

Most importantly we must support women as they endeavor to take these journeys of transformation.  Our bodies are ours even when we carry new life in them, or better yet especially because we do.  Until you have conceived, nurtured and grown a child from the inside, birthing it and feeding it from your body the profoundness of the process is hard to grasp.  The story of Demeter grieving Persephone being away from her is relatable when you count the hours of time, nurturing and patience that a mother gives to her children.  I see the miraculous act that my body has performed and will again perform.  The fact that it knows what to do all by itself is also incredible.  Often when the chips are down we just have to let our minds wonder off somewhere else and surrender to the body’s innate sense of what must happen.

Somewhere between glowy pregnant women rocking their unborn babes as they dance in spring fields and formulaic scientific jargon about what my body is doing this week lies my connection to spirit and my growing baby.  I will try to honour the process as the days move on towards their climax and feel the ancestors calmly or sometimes loudly calling the names of all that have been there, done that.  It is a good place, a holy place but overall it is a human and animal place to be.

Family Winter Wellness

The dark phase of the year often brings with it lower immune systems and colds and flus.   As a new parent (only three years in) I often forget to prevent illness and backtrack when my little guy comes down with something.  I’ve assembled a quick guide to keeping your family healthy in the winter focusing on prevention since we’d rather not deal with getting sick if possible.  Of course if we do get ill we know that it is a message from our body that slowing down and resting is in order.  Since January is post-holiday craziness time it is hopefully a great time to make some changes to your schedules making restfulness and care for ourselves a higher priority.

Sleep

Getting enough sleep is always important but since this is the darker time of the year it seems to be a better time to make that happen for yourself and your kids.   Let your evenings be as calm as possible.  If you can’t make every evening relaxing try and do it at least once a week.  Use candles or dim lighting to keep everyone more introspective.  Have some herbal tea for dessert and read together.  Have blankets on hand for getting cozy under and make sure that bedrooms are refuge like for everyone.   A great lesson for kids to learn is that clutter does not inspire calmness and a room full of toys does not relax kids but instead stimulates them.

Wash those Hands

I know this one is about as basic as you can get but I am constantly amazed by how many people do not wash their hands properly.  The best way to prevent the spreading of illnesses is by washing your hands for at least 20 seconds with regular soap and water.  Many parents have hand sanitizer and wipes in case a sink is not an option before snacks when you are out and about.   You can help encourage your children to wash their hands by making it as fun as possible.  Soaps in fun shapes, colourful towels, and stools to help everyone reach the sink are really helpful.  Singing while washing always helps with my little one.  It will also help you to remember how long they need to wash.  Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star is our favourite standby for hand washing.

Eat Ginger and Garlic

Remember to include immune system boosting foods in your family’s diet.  You can find many recipes for stir-fries with ginger and garlic, two super foods for your body at this time of year.  We love hummus which almost always has a healthy dose of garlic, this hot drink recipe looks great (although I would lessen the sugar replacing it with honey or maple syrup and just sweeten to taste)  broths are also great for health; chicken, beef or fish bones boiled down with water.   You can find a recipe here.

Colour Therapy

Grey days are hard for everyone but children can have a harder time communicating a feeling of sadness or moodiness that may be brought on by a lack of sunlight exposure.  One way to help that is to have sunny colours around your home for them to feed off of.  A bright wall hanging, throw pillows, making colourful art together and dressing them in sunny coloured clothing for daytime can all help with this often silent problem.

Skin Care

Staying hydrated is key in cold weather just like in the summertime.  Heaters and indoor re-circulated air dry out the skin.  Try using a gentle cleanser for your young one’s skin and use it sparingly in only the body creases or very dirty areas.  Otherwise use moisturizers and drink lots of fluids to try and keep your skin from drying out or cracking.  Also remember to use sunscreen if out on very bright days with lots of sun reflection.

Get outdoors

Fresh air is good for us and so is natural light.  There may not be much natural light to spare but it is a good practice to get out as much as you can.  The air indoors is never as good for your lungs as that from a brisk walk or an afternoon of outdoor fun.  Light helps keep the winter blues at bay and makes your system function with the natural rhythms of the earth.

Does your family do something special to fight off the winter flu season?  Please share it in the comment section if you care to.  Have a wonderful winter and let’s try and have a healthy season and New Year.

At this time of year; the holiday season as it has been dubbed by our “inclusive” culture, it can be hard for parents to keep meaning in the countless celebrations and the consumer driven racket that surrounds our children.  Many of us grew up celebrating Christmas whether religiously or from a secular perspective and most Pagans I read about integrate Yule, Winter Solstice, Christmas or Hanukah however it works best for their families.  Keeping it simple is something I strive for at this time of year.  This is my favourite holiday and as such I love the decorations, songs, and symbols of giving and peace that accompany the season.  One symbol that I particularly love is the evergreen tree.

Sharing the history of the tree portion of this holiday is rather challenging as the precise origins of the tree decorating that we do today is debatable.  There are several theories of exactly where it came from but the veneration of evergreens has pagan origins and there are countless ways that we can celebrate trees and the magic that they represent for our children at this time of year.

Taking a walk in a forested area with your young ones at this time of year gives them a chance to appreciate the differences this season offers.  You can talk about the shape of the deciduous trees that are now mostly leafless, notice if there are any bird’s nests visible and point them out.  If the weather is mild enough you can even make some drawings in a sketch book and plan on returning in the summer to notice the differences.  When encountering evergreens you can point out the contrasts of shape, texture and stature (and don’t forget that wonderful smell).  It may have been hard to notice them in the summer and now they dominate the forest and give off a frosty glow if covered in snow.

You can collect boughs that have fallen to decorate your home.   There are many options for using them:   Wreaths, smudge sticks, garlands, centerpieces, incenses or tree inspired arts and crafts.   You may also want to create a tree honouring ritual with your little ones.  You can do this while out in nature or in your home with your Yule tree as the focal point.  If you choose the outdoors the child can pick a tree to learn about and commune with.  In this case it doesn’t matter whether it is an evergreen or not since you are trying to inspire a relationship with and towards trees as sacred beings.   If you are intent on keeping the evergreen as the focus you can bring your little ones to a Christmas tree farm where they can perhaps have a hand in choosing the family tree while learning of the sacrifice the tree gives for our celebration, and the time it takes to grow a tree in the first place.

If your family chooses an artificial tree it is important to share the reasons why with your child.  Allergies, environmental impact, budget constraints, all are important reasons your children can appreciate.  A key to keeping the bustle of the season less chaotic is to discuss the insanity of overspending and consumption that skews the real messages behind the celebrations.  Don’t feel guilty if you cannot afford every toy in the catalogue, you have the power to make this holiday reflect your families values.  Since it is cold in the Northern Hemisphere you can create a sanctuary in your home for the whole family to revel in.  The early darkness can inspire quiet evenings of reading, games and gazing at the lovely tree you’ve decorated together.

Trees can even inspire your holiday meals and gifts.  You can have each child choose a tree that will be their “totem” for the season and try to create activities, place settings and gifts that honour those.  Share the magic of the season with the simplicity of trees and watch that magic reflect in the eyes of those you love the most.   Happy Holidays & Bright Blessings to you and yours this season.

Earlier in the year I wrote about celebrating the change from Maiden to Mother with a Blessingway.   This month I wanted to share another new or revitalized tradition that is becoming a part of our culture; the honouring of menarche.  Menarche is derived from two Greek words meaning: moon and beginning and refers to the first menstrual period.  Arguably this transition could be called the step a girl takes from child to maiden.   As pagans we try to celebrate the body in all its functions and this change is so pivotal and yet we often don’t acknowledge it much beyond purchasing the necessary products and passing the Midol.

North American society approaches menstruation with kid gloves or with disdain.  This “time of the month” is not looked at as sacred or introspective but as a nuisance that brings discomfort and pain and removes women from normal, everyday life.  Many women do experience terrible symptoms during this time and those should be taken seriously and not judged either, but how much of these physical symptoms are reflections of our culture’s views?  Would we still feel so sick if we were able to honour what are bodies were doing rather than trying to pretend nothing is happening?

For our daughters, nieces, cousins and granddaughters we have the power to change perceptions around our periods and empower them rather than allow this huge moment in their lives to go unmarked by celebration.

Family covens, circles, family, girlfriends; the type of ritual created to honour that special girl in your life can be elaborate or simple depending on the person’s preference.    There are examples out there of rituals to get ideas from and slowly the internet is starting to present options for women who choose to see the mysteries of their bodies with reverence rather than shame.  Here are some other links for you if you plan on hosting such a party or if you want to plan one for yourself:

Moon Days: Creative Writings about Menstruation

Period: A film about the end of Menstruation

My personal story about my relationship with my period

Menarche Party Ideas

Celebrating Menarche

I am also interested in sharing stories about transformation rituals for boys.  Since their change is more subtle I have not heard of a specific name that is being used to describe this time.  Please email me with any ideas or comments regarding celebrating boy’s transformations or any other comments at: stonegirl1177 AT yahoo DOT ca.

At this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere we are reminded of the slow period of life.  The heat of summer gives way to crisp nights,  leaves fall from the trees and circle our feet and the days get shorter.  As parents we see infinite youth in our children’s eyes, autumn to them is a time for fun, school and heralds the approach of winter celebrations and snow play.

As Samhain approaches I am always reminded of our ancestors and elders.  They are the keepers of the family stories and the example of the autumn and winter phases of life’s circle.  How do we as pagans approach the care of our parents as they age?  What does our culture want to pass on to future generations regarding the respect and care of those who raised us?

Our children embody the spark of youth, ourselves; the determination of early to mid-adulthood when we work hard to provide and establish foundations. Our parents and grandparents are past the stage of building and now rest.  Along with that rest the breakdown of the body sometimes becomes evident, past transgressions begin to catch up and illness can appear.  We become caught in the middle, trying to balance the responsibility of raising little ones and caring for our parents.   Family dynamics that have been established for your entire relationship begin to change.  No longer are you the one needing protection or nurturing from your parent.  Instead you are the provider and the strength for them.

The stress of this can be overwhelming and tiresome.  Distance is also very stressful when you live miles away and the only family member/s that are in the area are forced to take the load of the care.  Many cultures have intergenerational homes in which three or more generations live under one roof.  This arrangement helps the caregiver travel less and hopefully alleviates some of the strain.  Senior care homes are the only option for some.  There is often a solitude for many elders that is difficult and at times they may not be able to care for themselves but have little option for help from the community.

Our culture as a whole is aging.  These types of scenarios will become more and more evident to us.  Families whether those of blood or heart’s choice will be faced with how to navigate the rough waters of illness, aging and the balance of youth and activity with crones and sages and a slower life pace.  For those of us in the middle of these stages the bulk of the work falls into our hands.  We need to search for solutions, delegate responsibility and keep ourselves in balance as much as possible.

This area of thought is very compelling to me.  Are you faced with any of these dilemmas yourself?  Do you have solutions to share with the community?  This territory is certainly not new, but does your pagan path inspire a certain outlook that helps you keep things in perspective?

I intend to investigate this topic further in future articles.  I welcome your feedback or insight.  Our personal stories will hopefully begin a dialogue about how our spiritual paths inform our relationships with our elders and their invaluable contribution to our families.  Please feel free to comment here or send correspondence to stonegirl1177 AT yahoo DOT ca.  Have a blessed Samhain.

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about competitive people, especially when it comes to parenting and paganism.  Whether in your coven, circle or class we are faced with competitive people in our spiritual domain as well as the domestic/mundane one.

Not being very competitive for the most part I’ve found that being a parent has brought out that shred of doubt in me.   When I encounter another child at the playground that can already tie his shoes and my child of the same age hasn’t even attempted to try yet, there is a little pang for me.  A slight, oh, man should I be teaching my kid this?  Are they going to be lagging behind for not being able to do this already?  Wise ones have said to me in these times of doubt: Can the other child do this yet, like your child?  And usually the answer is, no.  That way of putting things into perspective has been invaluable to me.  No child is perfect, no child is better than another.  They all have their own time and place to learn and we must simply be there to help and guide them.

In the pagan arena I’ve felt little of the same pangs of competition.  I don’t mind if you’ve reached your 3^rd degree faster, dried lavender and written a chant this week and I haven’t even managed to have a morning meditation.  The spiritual journey is specific to the individual to me.  I’m not trying to be pagan of the year.  I just want to be true to my path.  A little competition isn’t always a bad thing though.  Reading about what other witches are trying these days, seeing examples of artwork dedicated to their gods, altars created for a season or books read for self exploration are inspirational.  A pang of hey, why aren’t I doing that, is good for you.  It is motivating and helps to keep your desires for your own path on track.

An extreme can develop in some people regarding parenting, paganism or anything really that is alarming to me.  Motives become only about competition and not about your child’s journey or your own.  You start to do things because the mother you most admire at your family coven does them like that.  You feel the need to be better, more pagan, more like a super mom than a real mom.  Because let’s face it no one is capable of being everything at one time.  Often we project ideals on to those we admire and think that they are accomplishing more than us.  Deep down though they probably have similar feelings of incompetence and are pushing themselves too hard, trying to be too much.

My philosophy of parenting and being a pagan is about honouring where I am in the moment and trying to accept what I can do.  My priority at this point is being a parent.  It is my full time job.  My spiritual life is secondary and I have accepted that for now.  Young children require energy and time.  I’m not capable of taking a class with a pagan leader or dedicating myself to a tradition.  I could try and do this but something would lag.  Something would fall through the cracks and my son is too important for me to risk.

The moral to this story is that support and sharing of our doubts is an important step towards keeping competition out of our spiritual practice and our parenting.  I won’t judge you for not having time to bring a snack for after the ritual, if you won’t judge my daughter for not knowing her ABC’s yet.  Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt.  Let’s live in a community that embraces each individual’s journey to self.  That way we can leave the competitive feelings where they belong, in the boardroom or on the sports field.

I stumbled across this article recently and I must admit that I was very encouraged by the comments Angelina Jolie made about her daughter Shiloh’s choice of clothing.

Apparently Shiloh prefers to dress “like a boy” and that has media critics blasting a 4 year old and calling her a transsexual.  While it is beyond shameful to take jabs at a child in such a manner no matter who her parents are I think that Jolie handled the situation with honesty and integrity:

“Children should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they wish without anybody judging them because it is an important part of their growth. Society always has something to learn when it comes to the way we judge each other, label each other. We have far to go.”

As parents we too often let our child’s behaviour reflect back our own insecurities.     If Jolie was insecure she may have seen Shiloh’s behaviour as reflecting badly on her parenting skills or on her own sexuality.  Instead she makes the choice to see that it is not about her but about self expression and the magic of childhood.

As pagan parents we tend to encourage “dress up” and mystical play.  Children are naturally drawn to worlds of fantasy and if they say “I’m a dragon” or “I’m the fairy of spring,” wouldn’t we encourage that and be delighted?  I have a sneaking suspicion though, that when it comes to our child crossing gender boundaries many of us may start to get a little uncomfortable.  What will the neighbours think?  He will be judged by other children, so for his own good I’ll make him dress masculine.  All girls want to wear pretty dresses and play tea party, what’s wrong with my child?  Our own embarrassment starts to take over our actions and we let society’s silly rules of sugar and spice or puppy dog’s tails influence our parenting.  Instead of unconditional love and space to explore themselves children learn to tow the line, not ruffle feathers and suppress their inner creativity.   That doesn’t sound like a very pagan way of growing up to me.

I realize that it is not as simple as the last paragraph makes it out to be.  There are people out there who are so afraid of gender bending that they become violent.  Our first instinct is to protect our child from harm, so our perception of how others may judge them is an important tool that we need to keep our kid safe.   If you have concerns that your child may be judged or harmed that is something that you need to work through with them.  When they are young you can perhaps encourage them to dress in their special outfits only at home or in a predetermined safe place.  As they grow older you may find that it was a phase that they leave behind them or you may encounter a more serious need within them.  If you do encounter this need I encourage being open minded.  This is your child; they are still whole and wonderful.  There are resources out there for parents to use for support if your child is transgender or confused about their sex.

Within our traditions there are many interpretations of masculine and feminine energies.  Some choose to see the traits in a more black and white sense because it makes them feel safe and ordered.  In my world view though there is a lot of grey area.  We all have male and female traits, energies and tendencies.  When we are children those traits are much less rigid because we have less conditioning.  I do not encourage my son to be masculine or feminine those tendencies are just there for him to act on as he comes across them.

Angelina Jolie is taking the same approach with her daughter Shiloh.  She doesn’t want to judge her daughter and so she is being open to Shiloh’s desires and guiding her towards finding her true self.

Please search out help if you or someone you love is dealing with gender difficulties.  Silence, shame and secrets are not the way to help your child or your family process these complex issues.

The pagan community seems to me to be a perfect example of an arena for openness regarding sexuality and gender.  Being open minded and non-judgemental goes way beyond religion in this day and age and as a burgeoning community we are poised to lead the way towards a healthy relationship with our sexual identities.

TransActive: Supporting children & youth of all genders

Transgender Family Resources

Gender: Gender Roles and Stereotypes

I wanted to share a celebration that I think is steeped in ancient sentiment that has been sorely missing in our culture for many years now.  It centers on Woman’s Mysteries and empowers a milestone that can sometimes be glossed over or denigrated in our busy culture today.

Blessingways have caught on in North America recently as an alternative to the “traditional” baby shower.  Becoming a mother is a deeply spiritual step for a woman.  The transition from maiden to mother (when it is literal) is often made more about the baby than about the mother to be.  You open gifts for your future or newly arrived little one and others ohhh and awww….you eat, you play silly games and you go home with a ton of stuff. Granted the stuff is needed and helpful but what does your soul and spirit get from this celebration?  There is little time to process fears, cherish the changes to come, honour the miraculous and primal experience that is pregnancy and childbirth, and to just focus on the mama to be.

Blessingways seek to change that.  They are an opportunity for covens, circles, friends and/or family to gather and cherish a life changing event.  There are many different ways to plan and create this type of celebration.  Depending on the tradition and the intention you can make the event into an elaborate ritual or a party with a mama focus.  Some things that you could do at a Blessingway are:

-Massage the mama with lovely smelling oils (being sure of course that they are appropriate for a pregnant woman)

-give her a pedicure and/or manicure

-paint her belly with paints or henna

-make a plaster mold of her belly

-have each person attending bring a bead to create a necklace or bracelet for the mama to be to wear during the birth

-eat decadent treats

-share motherly advice

-anoint a special candle for the mother to burn during the birth

Research is of course key in making the event unique and special to the new mom.  Choosing an appropriate Goddess to invoke or planning the timing for the event with the corresponding moon phase takes the focus off consumerism and puts the focus on the immanent transformation from maiden to mother.  Here are some resources to help your planning.  The original meaning of the term: Blessingway. Mother-Rising is a great book that I used to plan my best friend’s celebration.  Blessingway: A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers is another option.  And any thorough Pagan 101 should list Goddesses associated with motherhood.  Choosing a theme is also fun.  For my friend we chose birds.  Mama birds with babies, nests and feather crowns were what we used to make her feel special and connected.

Keeping things fluid is also a consideration for events like this one.  Pregnancy is intense and sometimes a heavy ritual may not work when an expectant mom is out of sorts or tired.  So have a plan B. If she does not seem up for being adorned with a flowing robe or being fawned over you can watch a fun movie and have some cool drinks for her to enjoy with her best buddies.  Because most of all the transformation is her experience and what you are doing is setting up a space for that to happen in whatever way it needs to in that moment.

Also do not hesitate to celebrate each new addition to a mama’s family.  Though she may already be a mother of three, number four is still unique and her mamahood is being reborn again. Each time a woman takes this journey she comes back altered and that deep place that each of us go to when we birth should be celebrated and venerated in our culture.

If there is one thing that attending festivals, gatherings, rituals whether private or public has taught me about the Pagan community is that: we LOVE food.   We strive to worship this earth, and consume the wonderful bounty that it graces us with.   Nurturing your child’s relationship to food is pivotal in their development.   Food weaves through almost every part of our lives our social relations, our relationship with the earth and our relationship and feelings towards our heath and body.   Eating together whether in ritual or family settings can be so rewarding and fulfilling.   It should be a high priority for every family since we have to eat in order to live and it usually happens at least three times a day.  Our culture has made eating, cooking and growing food into something that needs to be fast and convenient but as Pagans we celebrate with food, we try and be reverent of food, so should we promote this culture of frozen dinners, microwaves and drive-through consumption or should we strive to move in rhythm with the earth, eating seasonally and having a relationship with what we choose to put in our bodies?

Children emulate what they see not what they are told.  So if we tell them the earth is sacred and that the fall bounty is a gift to us and then leave them rarely seeing, let alone consuming a vegetable in its “from the ground state”  what sort of values do you think they’ll develop regarding food?  I would guess that they’d pick a burger and fries over a garden salad and chicken breast any day.  Most children go through a picky eater stage and we can indulge that with letting them only eat jello and drink soda or we can set an example and present them with ways to change their feelings, ideas and interaction with food so that they move past the picky stage with healthy and grounded eating habits.  Below you’ll find ideas for helping your kids (and yourselves) have a positive and reverent attitude towards what you eat.  I’ve included links and hope that you will challenge yourself to make this value one that is fundamental to your family’s present and future.  Don’t worry if you have hiccups or days when the family indulges in some bad habits, no one is perfect and it is hard to completely remove habits that have developed around food.  Just take small steps, introduce different foods slowly and keep trying even if there is resistance.  Habits take a while to break and the more relaxed but dedicated you are the more likely the positive results will start happening.

Grow Your Food

Whether you have a big backyard or a city balcony; grow something with your kids.  Herbs, strawberries, green beans, they are more likely to eat it if they’ve invested time and energy into planting a seed, watering it and watching it grow.

Purchase food at Farmer’s Markets

Besides having a fantastic family atmosphere farmer’s markets allow your child to meet the people growing their food.  This can open up discussions about country living versus city living, taking care of animals and plants, seasonal changes in the earth and it is also a wonderful place to meet your neighbours and participate in the community at large.

Visit Local Farms

Many farms offer a u-pick option which is often not only more economical but a great way to experience your food.  Your child sees the fields, the farmer, the plant in its living state and then gets to pull, pick and harvest the food that you will later eat.

Get Kids Cooking

The whole family should cook together when possible.  Learning to cook is an indispensable skill for your kids it will greatly affect how they think about and interact with their food.  They can set the table, fill the water jug, just get them involved in the process somehow and as they get older they can help more and more.  It is even a good idea to have them help with meal planning so that they see what is involved in the process.

Can & Preserve Foods Together

Another fun activity is to make jams, pickles, or tomato sauce together.  This can be time consuming but you can always make it a more community minded project pooling time and resources with other families.  Your kids will taste the difference in a sauce they made during the summer months and they can feel proud of their part in making food for the family to enjoy together.

Eat as Many Meals Together as Possible

The statistics prove that it makes kids happier and healthier.  And you can really enjoy each other as well as the meal you’ve created together.  Perhaps some activities need to be sacrificed to make it happen but making this a priority in your family will benefit everyone.

Bless the Food and remember its Magic

Taking a moment before you eat to honour the cycle that brought the food to your table will give your children a sense of gratefulness and reverence for the process they participated in.

During your celebrations this spring and summer and throughout the wheel of the year may you and yours eat well, feel well and honour the earth with your choices about food.  I’ve included a few more resources that you and your family may find helpful in making the myriad of decisions around what to consume, how to consume it, and where to find what you are looking for.

Food Inc. the documentary film

Deconstructing Dinner – Food podcast