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WitchCrafting: Crafts for Witches

September, 2016

Creating your own Pantheon

Witchcraft

Merry meet.

The Greeks, Romans, Celts, Norse, Egyptians, Mayans and other ancient civilizations had a plethora of deities that helped with a host of specific conditions related to daily life. There were gods of war, fire and the sea, and goddesses of agriculture, wisdom and the hunt.

While most religions now demand worship of only one god, it remains customary for pagans to pick and choose among the many pantheons. This column suggests a third option – to create your own gods and goddesses.

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In 2005, I participated in a goddess swap that broadened my horizons when I realized that in addition to existing deities, I could make up new ones. Participants produced goddesses that filled a need. There was the Goddess of Bad Hair Days, Goddess of World Peace and Goddess of the Sacred Fire Within. ists created trading cards depicting goddesses for children, day dreams, the shadow moon and sex. I made the Goddess of Lost Items and the Goddess of Laughter.

The exercise helped me realize that given our own divine nature, we are free to craft deities and let them lend their energy to spells and rituals. While those in this column are represented on paper, you could also make them from clay, fabric, wood or any of a number of representative objects such as a garden statue, a Barbie doll dressed in ritual garb or a butter fly used to depict the Goddess of Transformation.

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As the need arises to seek assistance, be creative.

For instance, if you seek help with communication, financial gain, commerce or travel, you could call on the Roman god Mercury or his Greek equivalent, Hermes, or you could give birth to Zetta.

Few people build shrines, makes offerings or holds festivals to honor Mercury or Hermes these days, but we do have something of a modern equivalent: the Apple Stores, built by Steve Jobs. They are places of commerce to which people travel to worship communication devices, all of which have large amounts of digital information measured in bytes. First it was kilo-, then mega- and giga-; now were up to counting terabytes. It wont be long before we reach zettabytes, so I think Zetta would be a wonderful name for the Goddess of Technology. She would be someone you could pray to when your phone gets wet, your computer spontaneously switches to the blue screen of death or your tablet wont stay charged. When prayed to daily, this goddess also remembers login information.

I dont know if the Babylonians or the Incas had need of a central nervous system stimulant, but its clear our civilization does, to the point people are physically dependent on caffeine. You cant drive two miles in most directions without being able to get coffee at a drive-through window. One of these places has even adopted the Goddess Caffeina as its logo. You see her on every cup, wearing a crown topped with a star. Known to some as Our Lady of Latte, she imparts energy to the tired and clarity to the fog-brained.

I think we need a goddess of weight loss. A deity with the power to negate the calories in chocolate, transform a craving for potato chips into a desire for broccoli and make your favorite pair of jeans still fit. Someone like Calorieena, a gluten-free, bacon-loving Paleo Warrior. Organic vegetables, wild berries and clothing that is now too big would be offerings left on the altar of this guardian of releasing that which weighed us down.

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I often need a Goddess to Find Lost Items. I call her Findderina. She knows the location of every missing object even before you know its lost, and then she produces it right before your eyes with the polite but urgent prompt, Show me (whatever it is youre looking for)” repeated until you have it back, or “By the power of three times three, let me see, let me see.” You can also call to Findderina with the words, “By the power of three, bring (whatever it is) to me. As I will, so mote it be.

I dont know about you, but I often need help remembering a word. That word. The word that if I manage to get out of my brain, gets stuck on the tip of my tongue. The one hovering on the edge of my consciousness, mocking me. That word. A goddess who could produce that word might be called Thesauri, and she would be most revered by the older and wiser among us.

I know I also need help dealing with the opinions of many I encounter on social media during political campaigns. I find myself resorting to sarcasm, which is not particularly helpful, even when done with humor. Now, if there was a god who could intervene in such instances, the world might be a better place. The Great Sarcasmo, perhaps? Or, maybe Sarcasi?

Since Christopher was dethroned as the patron saint of travelers, we have needed someone to sit on our dashboards and watch over us. Someone who could get us where we wanted to go. A deity with maps and coordinates and the ability to recalculate. I think such a god might be called Geepeaesse. Hed be a god with contact information and live traffic reports. Hes have the ability to turn red lights green, keep tires from deflating and gas tanks from running dry.

Geepeaesses twin is Rodezen, the God of Tranquil Travel. He is the one I find myself needing to call on every time a driver pulls an idiot move anywhere near me.

There are glamour spells, so it seems theres no reason we cant have a Glamour Goddess that can insure the last two articles of clean clothing suitable for the office coordinate. She can gloss over the look your face gets when you havent had enough sleep in three nights and tame even the worst bad hair day.

I’ve needed deities to bring rain during this hot, dry summer and to help me move past fear. I hope you’ll use the comment section to share the gods and goddesses you plan for your pantheon.

Merry part.

And merry meet again.