Jennie Johnston June, 2010

Celebrating the Transformation of Maiden to Mother

I wanted to share a celebration that I think is steeped in ancient sentiment that has been sorely missing in our culture for many years now.  It centers on Woman’s Mysteries and empowers a milestone that can sometimes be glossed over or denigrated in our busy culture today.

Blessingways have caught on in North America recently as an alternative to the “traditional” baby shower.  Becoming a mother is a deeply spiritual step for a woman.  The transition from maiden to mother (when it is literal) is often made more about the baby than about the mother to be.  You open gifts for your future or newly arrived little one and others ohhh and awww….you eat, you play silly games and you go home with a ton of stuff. Granted the stuff is needed and helpful but what does your soul and spirit get from this celebration?  There is little time to process fears, cherish the changes to come, honour the miraculous and primal experience that is pregnancy and childbirth, and to just focus on the mama to be.

Blessingways seek to change that.  They are an opportunity for covens, circles, friends and/or family to gather and cherish a life changing event.  There are many different ways to plan and create this type of celebration.  Depending on the tradition and the intention you can make the event into an elaborate ritual or a party with a mama focus.  Some things that you could do at a Blessingway are:

-Massage the mama with lovely smelling oils (being sure of course that they are appropriate for a pregnant woman)

-give her a pedicure and/or manicure

-paint her belly with paints or henna

-make a plaster mold of her belly

-have each person attending bring a bead to create a necklace or bracelet for the mama to be to wear during the birth

-eat decadent treats

-share motherly advice

-anoint a special candle for the mother to burn during the birth

Research is of course key in making the event unique and special to the new mom.  Choosing an appropriate Goddess to invoke or planning the timing for the event with the corresponding moon phase takes the focus off consumerism and puts the focus on the immanent transformation from maiden to mother.  Here are some resources to help your planning.  The original meaning of the term: Blessingway. Mother-Rising is a great book that I used to plan my best friend’s celebration.  Blessingway: A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers is another option.  And any thorough Pagan 101 should list Goddesses associated with motherhood.  Choosing a theme is also fun.  For my friend we chose birds.  Mama birds with babies, nests and feather crowns were what we used to make her feel special and connected.

Keeping things fluid is also a consideration for events like this one.  Pregnancy is intense and sometimes a heavy ritual may not work when an expectant mom is out of sorts or tired.  So have a plan B. If she does not seem up for being adorned with a flowing robe or being fawned over you can watch a fun movie and have some cool drinks for her to enjoy with her best buddies.  Because most of all the transformation is her experience and what you are doing is setting up a space for that to happen in whatever way it needs to in that moment.

Also do not hesitate to celebrate each new addition to a mama’s family.  Though she may already be a mother of three, number four is still unique and her mamahood is being reborn again. Each time a woman takes this journey she comes back altered and that deep place that each of us go to when we birth should be celebrated and venerated in our culture.

Tags: child, parenting, pregnant

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Jennie Johnston September, 2009

Experiencing the Elements at the Playground

I am pleased to be a new member of the PaganPages family.  Welcome to Pagan Parenting Every Day.  Each month we will be exploring topics that relate to every day parenting with a pagan spin.  As a new parent looking for articles that relay parenting topics through a pagan perspective I find a lack.  I hope to address this gap and bring ideas to the table for discussion, learning and pondering.

Before we get to this month’s topic I’d like to say that the views presented here are based on one pagan parent’s perspective.  I am not trying to advocate a “pagan way” to parent, as I believe that as each child is different, so is each parent and each pagan in tern.  Rather, I am hoping to create a dialogue for parents and offer up some parenting styles, tips, methods, activities and issues.  The wide world of parenting is often daunting and a sense of support in our community can be a blessing to us all.  I also welcome questions, comments and suggestions for future topics.  You can contact me at stonegirl1177 AT yahoo DOT ca.  And now onto our topic for this month: Experiencing the Elements at the Playground.

As North American society has moved away from predominately dwelling on farmsteads and into urban lifestyles city parks have become a nature refuge.  As pagans many of us think that getting into nature, meaning out of the city and into a National park, camping, etc. is the only way to experience the elements.  But other than our 2 or 3 weeks a year of vacations, or our weekend day trips how can we bring the lessons and just plain fun of the elements into our children’s lives?  Some urban dwellers have backyards where they can explore the elements with their kids but if you don’t, or even if you do and you are looking for a change try taking a walk to your local playground.  The power and wonder of the elements are right there waiting for you and your family to appreciate them.

AIR

Swings and slides are perfect tools for really experiencing air.  Pumping your legs, you move faster and faster.  The air is all around you, blowing your hair and for kids who have a hard time understanding what they can’t see or feel in the moment this movement helps air, the invisible element become tangible.  Not to mention swinging is fun.  For toddlers and babies this aspect of motion is as far as you’ll need to take the activity.  Although you can repeat “Wind!” with glee in your voice to let them associate the sensations they are having with air.  For older children you can talk about the sensations they feel and mention some air correspondences like communication and the intellect.

FIRE

Fire is not an element you openly see at parks.  It is not something you really want to encourage either.  But the big ball of fire in the sky can be your children’s plaything in its own way.  Shadow play is very entertaining.  Running and playing shadow tag, seeing the interesting shapes that you can make and for older kids you can talk about the length of your shadow and how that corresponds to the different time of day as the sun moves from east to west.  If it is a particularly warm day you can also teach even toddlers about the wonder of shade cast by trees or a nearby building.  You can move from the sun to the shade and experience the sensations of fire through the intense heat of the sun.

WATER

Water parks with their spraying are of course great to experience on hot summer days and a very fun way to play with water.  If you are out after a rain puddles can hold a wonderland of enjoyment for kids of all ages.  If your playground has a drinking fountain that is a great way to start a dialogue about the precious nature of water.  Even if your local playground has no water available for play or drinking you can bring some in a thermos or water bottle.  As children play they inevitably get thirsty, as they break for a drink they can think about how the body is mostly water and why they need to replenish their supply after they exert themselves.  Perhaps they can carry their own water bottle and this can be a great lesson in understanding the precious nature of water as a resource.

EARTH

Sand boxes, pebbles, grass, wood chips, there can be many surfaces at the playground that are earthy.  Sand boxes are endless in possibilities for play: mud pies, drawing in the sand with sticks, shoveling, sand castles, and just getting dirty are all great ways to interact with mother earth.  Rolling down grassy hillsides, climbing trees, the reassuring thud of the earth beneath on a see-saw, share earth’s rhythms with your child and you can also chant if the mood strikes.  If your neighborhood playground is on concrete there is usually some crack somewhere with plants pushing up through it.  What a powerful lesson to learn about, how even a substance as strong as concrete can be severed by the earth and strong plants will reclaim the space if left to their own devices.

Regardless of time constraints and nature access you can have family adventures with the elements in urban settings.  All it takes is some imagination and a desire to be in the moment.  A healthy dose of spirit can make our neighborhood sacred regardless of how much vegetation is around us.  We are nature; nature is with us in each moment, just waiting for us to notice.

Tags: air, child, children, earth, elements, fire, kids, Pagan, parents, water

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Lynn OBrien August, 2009

How Do We Know We’ve Done Good?

How do we know when, as a parent, we’ve made a positive difference with our kids? Some parents measure it by what grades they get in school…others do it by measuring their kids against the way they were at that age. I know I’m doing a good job, at least most of the time, when my daughter does something so unselfish and positive, that not only is she changing her own life, but that of someone else.

Yesterday was our local area’s Relay For Life event, our third year participating as a team, her third year walking. Now, please understand my oldest daughter is almost 9 years old, and is a typical kid when it comes to how she views herself socially. But my daughter is in no way vain, and her good deed on Saturday proves it.

When we arrived at the event site at 8am yesterday morning, we were looking forward to doing some walking, fundraising, seeing wonderful entertainment…all in all having a great time for a great cause.

4pm rolls around and she surprises me by saying she wanted a haircut. Okay, one of our local teams had a booth set up where you could donate some money to get a basic haircut. But, if you had 10 inches or more of virgin (never dyed or chemically treated) hair, they would send that in to be made into a wig for a cancer patient. The American Cancer Society has teamed up with Pantene to sponsor this event at Relays nationwide.

The first person to get their hair donated was a salsa dancer that was there at the Relay, who had just gotten done dancing. His hair (yes, a man) reached at least to his waist. Long, thick, black hair…luxurious and he cut it off to his shoulders and donated it.

The next person to donate their hair was my sweet, giving humanitarian of a daughter, Kati. She walked right up and told them that if she had at least 10 inches from her shoulders down, she wanted to donate her hair. The ladies and guys standing by the tent stopped and grew quiet, as my brave child looked up with eyes of pure determination and commitment to her cause….she wanted to change someone’s life. What she didn’t know was that she changed everyone’s lives that day.

The people who were around the tent watched in utter amazement and admiration as the hair dresser brushed and measured her hair. After asking if this was what she really wanted, they put her hair in a ponytail and lopped it off.

The ponytail that had once been attached to her head was now in the hands of the lady and her eyes, as well as many of the onlookers, were wet with tears as my daughter made a most beautiful sacrifice. You see, my child became the most beautiful person I know on Saturday. The style of the cut isn’t what matters, but the true beauty that shines from her heart and soul.

After her show of love and giving for someone she might never know, everyone at that Relay worked harder, and had more fun, and raised more money. It was cold, windy and many were getting tired. But what her gift did was give the Relayers and supporters the drive and determination we needed to last 24 hours or more, to raise money that could one day save the life of someone we love, or maybe save ourselves.

My daughter is my hero.

Tags: child, children, kids, parenting, parents

• Children and Parenting

Michele Burke July, 2009

What is an Indigo Child?

It has been said that Indigo children display innovative and bizarre psychological attributes, which up until a relatively short time ago had not been documented. Many skeptics suggest that the indigo child is nothing more than a child suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or some other type of mental disability but that could not be further than the truth. While yes some indigo children may well be diagnosed with ADHD the truth of the matter is that these children are just old souls striving to bring the world into the next level of human evolution. A majority of the indigo children posses what some would describe as paranormal abilities such as clairvoyance, clairaudience and other psychic abilities and are generally more creative and empathetic than their non-indigo counterparts.

Now some of you might read this and say how does she know so much about indigo children any way? Well the answer to that is I am an indigo adult and am the mother of three indigo children each of whom are as different as night and day but are special n their own ways. My one son has been diagnosed with everything from ADHD to Asperger’s syndrome when in all actuality he is just a normal kid who happens to have been blessed with the gift of healing; while my other son who is now 21 years old and now an indigo adult has never suffered from any misdiagnosis and is a happily married man with a beautiful son but has the gift of clairvoyance and finally my 12 year old daughter  is generally a happy child but due to the constant ridicule of her peers at school and often times their parents she has  in the past suffered from severe migraines and depressive mood swings. However, after talking with a therapist who also happens to be an indigo adult she has been able to accept her gifts of clairaudience and now embraces her specialness.

How can you tell if Your Child or Yourself are Indigos’?

Below I have compiled a list of questions for you and your child to answer:

* Are you or your child always searching for your greater purpose in life but feel as if the world is not ready for you?
* Do you or your child sometimes feel wise beyond your earthly age?
* Do you or your child have trouble meeting the requirements of everyday society?
* Do you or your child often feel out of place in the world today?
* Do you or your child see the world exceptionally differently than most individual’s around you?
* Do you or your child have strong intuitions about things that the majority of others do not?
* Do you or your child often feel as if no one understands you when you try to express your feelings about what’s real?
* Are you or your child a seeker of the truth?
* Do you or your child feel as if you were born to achieve a special mission in life?
* Do you or your child feel cut off from the rest of the world when it comes to your beliefs?
* Are you or your child misunderstood by family and friends?
* Do you or your child more often than not feel unsociable except when you are with like minded individuals?
* Are you or your child emotionally sensitive?
* Did you or your child have a difficult childhood?
* Do you or child oftentimes feel disempowered by excessive authority?

If you or your child answered yes to at least 10 of these questions it is a very strong possibility that you too are Indigo and if that s the case embrace your gifts as they were given to you for a reason, a reason we may never know in this lifetime or even see come to pass but one day it will if not for us for our children.

New Indigo Child Advise Column Open Now…

At this time I would like to take the opportunity to let you the readers know that begging with this issue this Indigo Child Column will be a place where parents of Indigo Children as well as Indigo adults will be able to come for advice and or ask questions about the world of the Indigo and if need be connected with services in your area. To take advantage of this leave your questions or comments in the comment section below and I will do my very best to answer all your questions and post replies to the first three in each of the following issues.

Bountiful Blessings

Tags: child, children, indigo

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