coaching

Hally’s Hints

October, 2008

What are You Telling Yourself?

“I am such an Idiot”; “I can’t believe I stuffed that up. I am so useless” and my favourite “It’s all my fault”. These are examples of some lines that we use when self talking. Not very positive is it? Have you ever stopped to wonder the impact that any of these sentences have on you, your self esteem and how you perceive yourself?

How often do you stop to tell yourself “you are so amazing” or “you are such a beautiful person”. Once a week? Once a month? Or have you ever?

We often get so caught up in what others think of us that we do not stop to look within on how we are projecting ourselves to ourselves. What you think of yourself and treat yourself is what is going to come out in everything you do. There are some that believe loving yourself involves complete self absorption and I am not talking about this. I am talking about appreciating and acknowledging yourself for the person you are today. Not focusing on the faults that seem so plentiful rather focusing on all the fantastic parts that make us unique and magnificent every day simply by being.

Words and language are the most powerful medium in which to communicate. The effect something someone says to has is very powerful and lasting. How often do you focus on something negative someone had said to you rather than a positive that may have followed?

Because we are so busy telling ourselves off for something we haven’t done or achieved rather than acknowledging the fact that several steps were taken in the right direction somehow deems it acceptable for others to do likewise. The irony is that it doesn’t feel very nice. Yet, when given a complement it feels uncomfortable because it is so unfamiliar. So many of us complain because no one says anything positive to us and yet, we don’t even do this for ourselves. We crave validation and really, it starts with looking in the mirror and telling ourselves “you are awesome”.

Every minute of every day there is a conversation happening in our minds. How often do we take note or rather when don’t we? The voice doesn’t always provide us with the right choices or offer us positive re-enforcement as it often works as a voice of protection, of safety and comfort. Consequently, we tell ourselves that we can’t, we shouldn’t, we won’t and often let this guide the decision of our actions, whether this serves us or not.

However with a bit of reprogramming this voice can actually support you as the beautiful person that you are today and provide caution not detriment.

It starts with knowing and believing that what you want and how you want to live our life is for the greater good of yourself and moving towards the best that you can be. Believing that you deserve a life of happiness, fulfillment and success.

This however isn’t enough. When you think about your dreams and what you want to fulfill in your life what do you say to yourself? I can’t; I won’t; I shouldn’t or do you tell yourself I am awesome! I have strength and courage to do anything?!

Each day when you hear your self talk becoming negative, use a different, positive word in replacement. Start with one word and slowly replace a sentence. See the difference this makes to how you view yourself and how you come across.

You know you are fantastic. You just need to tell yourself.