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Worth the Witch

February, 2019

Infinite Realms Book Box

Brought to you by Alban Lake Publishing

Infinite Realms is an online bookstore through Alban Lake Publishing House. They are proud supporters of independent authors.
Alban Lake Publishing House covers a variety of genres from action/adventure to poetry & steampunk to mystery. Infinite Realms Book Store even have a young adult section. If you are more into digital books lately, they have you covered! Let’s not forget their incredible magazines.

Infinite Realms Book Store is currently in the midst of changing the format of their boxes but I want to share with you the one I received from their previous style. I want to show the wonderful gifts I received and their great books!

My Boxes Arrival…

I just loved the dragon logo on the box. It sparked my imagination of all the magick that may lay inside.

First Look…

Upon opening the box I am hit with a dramatic first view. The red paper promises luxury and I spy another dragon!!!

Dragon Oil Warmer…

I immediately pick out the first thing to catch my eye from the Infinite Realms Book Store Box, the Dragon Oil Warmer and open it. This is a gorgeous gift for any dragon/fantasy lover! This delicate, resin & glass, oil warmer is stunning. A great, and lovely to look at, substitute for a plain old smelly candle to give warmth and scent to your space.

Lindt Chili Dark Chocolate…

Now this is something new! A Lindt Chile Chocolate Bar! I have never had spicy chocolate before and I have to admit, I was scared to try it. At first it taste like chocolate, but in the end, POW, omg SPICY at the end!!! It gets you with a kick, right in the tasters!! Wowzers!! Was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting being called a wuss by everyone else who had some!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! That was a fun treat! Also, the brand of chocolate they included is a well known chocolate brand. Known for making some yummy chocolates.

Black & Red Mug…

First, I have to admit, the style of this Black & Red Mug is right up my alley. Second, it is HUGE. The perfect giant cup for tea, or coffee, while snuggling up to read a good book. What a brilliant item to include in a Book Box!! Who does not love a cup of tea or coffee with a good book. This is now a fought over mug in my household. I would say it is about 16 ounces.

Castle Statue…

This is so simple and so adorable. It goes wonderful with the fantasy theme of the entire box. I enjoy this statue. It is not so big as to take up so too much room and fits nicely on my bookshelf. I do have a nephew, however, who keeps insisting on painting it…LOL.

Japanese Cherry Blossom Oil…

Very generous 1.86 oz bottle of Japanese Cherry Blossom Oil to go with your new Dragon Oil Burner. They did not cheap out on us. Beautiful, strong scent. Relaxing when burned.

From Their Collection…

Wonderous Web Worlds 7 – The very best science fiction, fantasy, & horror.

Illumen – The mission of Illumen is to publish speculative poetry that even readers who do not care for poetry will want to read.

Sounds of the Night – Short Stories & poetry.

Two of the publications, Sounds of the Night and Wondrous Web Worlds, are a mix of prose fiction and poetry, while Illumen is an anthology of poetry. All three are printed on a satisfying weight of paper with glossy color covers.

Sounds of the Night is magazine-sized in its dimensions, so there is plenty of content to it even at only 43 pages from cover to cover. It is a biannual publication, coming out in February and August. I received the February 2008 issue. I quite literally mean from cover to cover: no space is wasted in those 43 pages, though the poems are used well to create breaks between the prose. Also keeping the rhythm is a couple of pieces of artwork and a few advertisements for the publisher’s other offerings, though these are minimal and not distracting. A story by Lawrence R. Dagstine was quite good and a poem by Aurelio Rico Lopez III was excellent.

Illumen is a small biannual poetry anthology edited by Tyree Campbell, published every April and October. My edition to review was from Autumn 2015. The size of a paperback, Illumen runs around seventy pages, with only a couple of pieces of artwork in the mix. Unexpectedly, it also has almost half-a-dozen advertisement pages for fiction books from the publisher, though I didn’t find this distracting. Annay Sykora and Will H. Blackwell Jr. were featured poets in this particular issue. I was impressed by many of the works in the collection. I especially liked a piece by Anne Babson called “Brunch with Lord Tennyson”. A number of poems by Rizwan Akhtar were excellent as well.

The third book I received for review was Wondrous Web Worlds Volume 7, an anthology from 2006, edited by J Alan Erwine. It runs at 153 pages and features science fiction, fantasy and horror in both prose and poetry. I am still taking my time getting through this book, but not for lack of enjoyment. Even if I haven’t liked every piece it is certainly a fun read, with the generous mix of genres you never really know where each new story is likely to take you. Stories may range from mail brides on Mars, an apocalyptic asteroid encounter that turns out to harbor extra-terrestrial life, to comedians performing for robots – and this is not even getting to the other genres. I find this kind of mix makes a nice change of rhythm from longer prose and helps to reset the mind after a long day at work.

Hard Candies…

Scattered throughout the box are little, clear wrapped, red hard candies. After the box was reviewed, we finally had some of them. Red hot cinnamon candies. Red hot, Like the box!

Final Thoughts…

Infinite Realms Book Store brings fantasy to life and helps you enjoy your time reading by not only making the atmosphere soothing & relaxing, but by giving you enjoyable, great, quality reading material! They fill your room with warm scent, a mug for that hot cuppa, pretty things to stare at while you contemplate the wonderful passage you just read from one of the myriad of topics covered in the three books they have included. Then you can have a nice piece of some spicy chocolate to begin the next poem or chapter! This box is sooo Worth the Witch.

We got to talk to the lovely Karen Otto at Infinite Realms Book Store about their Book Boxes, company, and upcoming changes. Here is what she had to say…

PaganPagesOrg (PPO): What brought the idea of your box to you? 

Karen Otto (KO): I love subscription boxes and in looking through what was available I saw that while there were a few book boxes, they (mostly) all contained popular or classical books. My company is all about helping independent authors and I thought a book box would be a great way to introduce readers to new authors.

PPO: How did you begin them?

KO: I started the boxes at first as a giveaway to grab a little attention for them. I posted a few on eBay before moving on to Cratejoy and now to our bookstore.

PPO: How do you choose what you include inside them?

KO: The very first few boxes were just a mishmash of cool things but after getting that first bit of feedback I started curating more carefully. I gave each type of box a theme. For example, Horror boxes were themed after famous horror writers like Lovecraft. For the fantasy boxes, I themed them after mythical creatures and magic.

PPO: Is your’s a recurring monthly box?

KO: They are not anymore. We ran into a slew of problems on Cratejoy (still love the site but it doesn’t work for us). Now, they are personalizable on our bookstore.

KO: The new book boxes are fully customizable. You can chose the book(s) included or chose a genre, choose a snack type, an item type, make it a gift, send a special message along with the box, we’ve done everything we can to make it fun.

KO: The new boxes are still under construction but will be available by the end of the December.

PPO: What types of interests do you have?

KO: I absolutely love plants and have a whole bunch of them, including a 10-year-old aloe vera plant and six of its off-shoots. I’m also about to try growing black roses for the first time. I am also a writer with two books out at the moment and more to come.

PPO: Did you feel the pagan world was missing something to make you create your Box?

KO: I wasn’t entirely sure what the pagan world needed in the beginning, honestly, but I did use it as inspiration and included things like sage bundles and crystals along with information about their properties in an effort to learn more about paganism myself and to promote the quiet and relaxation the scents and books combined could bring.

PPO: Do you have a site and sell other types of products?  

KO: I run a bookstore – www.infiniterealmsbookstore.com

We’re mainly a publishing company, Alban Lake Publishing, and focus on helping new authors find their footing.

My books are available here:

Bugs in the System by Karen Otto

Shattered: The Story of Ashque by Karen Otto

Our bookstorewww.infiniterealmsbookstore.com

Our publishing website www.albanlakepublishing.com

Social Media Sites:

Twitter – @albanlake

Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/albanlakepublishing/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz9Fs6i4qMLcf_gozhIKzCQ

Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/albanlakepub/

Thank you Karen Otto, for all you do for new and upcoming authors, as well as us readers! Thank you, also, for taking some time out for our readers!!!

***

About the Author:

Jennifer Wright is a witch on a path of change that is always winding. She founded PaganPagesOrg in the hopes of giving those a platform to share and learn without judgment. There are too many important things to her and not enough room to mention them. You are one of them.

Celebrating the Old Ways in New Times

January, 2019

January 2019 for Celebrating the Old Ways in New Times

Bright Blessings, and Happy 2019!

I trust everybody else besides me is regretting the massive amounts of treats had around December Holiday celebrations, and is pledging to eat less, slim down, and really hit the gym. And I am over here letting my newly made pie crust chill so I can bake another pumpkin pie! No regrets at Casa Pashovich for this Witch!

It is two days after Solstice, and I am counting down the days until Holiday crowds, traffic and festivities are over, and we all have a quiet January and February.

As it’s between Sabbats, I get to pick the topic, and this one is close to my heart.

Resolutions!

This month, I decided to write about cutting people out of our lives. To me, it goes along with a January favorite, “New Year’s Resolutions”. Why not resolve to clear all unnecessary things, including people, out of your life?

It’s not a happy thought, is it? It makes us feel we are losing people when we cut them out of our lives. We become afraid we are going to be alone, and worry that we are not devoted in our relationships. We feel guilt, because we don’t want to be the ones who are “dumped”, and we don’t want to hurt anybody else!

We’ve all been there. We have this relationship we have invested a lot of years, good times, and effort into, and the day comes this person says or does something, and it’s time for them to go. Maybe it was a long time coming. Maybe they did something after years of friendship that shocked you, and the trust is now gone. Maybe they didn’t actually do anything wrong, you just don’t like them anymore. Maybe it’s not even them. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you don’t have dedication to a perfectly decent relationship. The fact is, for one reason or another- THEY NEED TO GO. Like yesterday.

Why Not?????

Lots of reasons are given as to not do so, even when you feel you have made up your mind to terminate a relationship.

The first thing that often happens is other people want to get involved. They think you need their opinions or advice. They go into great detail about how wrong you are for ending a relationship, and they implore you with their emotional appeals not to.

Sometimes, they cite the amount of time you have had said relationship, and fully expect you and said friend or loved one to continue your relationship for old time’s sake.

Often a reason given to maintain the relationship is the KIND of relationship it is. Some people don’t believe in divorce, under any circumstances, for example. Some feel nobody ought to break off relationships with family members. Some feel no friendship should ever be ended.

My favorite is the people who preach about forgiveness. I have a lot to say about why forgiveness is not always necessary, but still. Let’s say you ALWAYS forgive. That still does not mean you have to have them in your life even after you forgive them.

We are often reminded not to make hasty decisions based on whether we are upset or not. I agree with this. All loved ones have disagreements, and sometimes even fights, and those are not necessary reasons to end a relationship. However, sometimes, they are, and when that happens…

They HAVE to go!

There are times when reconciliation or moving on from something just isn’t happening. Some of the reasons include:

  1. The relationship is toxic. I know that sounds stereotypical, but there are just some people whose behaviors destroy our well-being. Maybe they are a bad influence, or they take advantage of you for things like rides or money. Whatever is going on, this relationship is taking its toll on you, and it might be downright abusive. Relationships are supposed to make us happier, and improve our lives, not the opposite.
  2. They only come around when they want something. However, if you want to hang out, or need something in return? Forget it. Bah, who needs people like that? That is not a relationship. It’s called being used.
  3. You don’t enjoy each other’s company anymore- or you outright fight all the time, and either of you will change so you get along better. There is no point maintaining a relationship with somebody you cannot get along with.
  4. You are not getting what you want or need from a relationship. Period.
  5. One, or both of you has stopped caring about the other. Nothing feels worse than a loveless relationship. Actual love is not something you “fall out of”. If you genuinely don’t love them or they don’t love you, it’s time to say goodbye.
  6. One, or both of you have changed, and the other hasn’t, and you no longer relate to one another. People really do grow apart. That’s not a dramatic lie. It happens.
  7. One, or both of you wants out. The reasons don’t matter. Nobody is required to stay in a relationship they no longer want to.
  8. You don’t fit into one another’s lives at all. Maybe there was a time when you did, but those days are long gone, and you can’t even have a decent conversation together anymore.
  9. Something really hurtful was said or done, and you do not trust your loved one anymore. The bad part about this, it is something can happen many years down the road, and completely destroy what had previously been a meaningful relationship. Every long-term relationship has bad moments, and fights followed by reconciliation occur. But there are friend fights, and then there are deal breakers. Deal breakers signal the end of the relationship.
  10. You only maintained a relationship for somebody else’s sake, and for one reason or another, you don’t have to anymore! They were probably just keeping up appearances too, and they won’t miss you anymore than you’ll miss them!

There are so many reasons to let go of a relationship, I can’t even list them all here. Whole it can be heartbreaking, and scary to part ways, it can be the best thing you and your loved one do for one another. We are not always meant to be in one another’s lives forever, and sometimes, we let go, and move forward with our lives without one another. That’s okay.

With A Little Help From My Friends

I could talk about my own experiences, but I would rather share what some of my friends have had to say.

Cliff said, “On cutting people out of your life I practice two forms, one is a temporary separation and the other is absolute. I practice the temporary “cut” because I believe that you should not hold the person to the same standard of their previous transgressions and allow them the opportunity to become a decent human being. That particular type of break is reserved for people I truly love but who have become toxic. The second type is more generally used by myself as I have a low tolerance for abuse, manipulation, or whatever you call the action that caused the need for the separation. Remember you are not obligated to keep putting up with mistreatment no matter if it is your mother, father, lover, whatever. We all have to draw the line somewhere because in time we will find people to fill those gaps and they often times are already in your life. Cutting people out is a healthy habit to take up even though it may create a temporary void but ultimately you will heal and move forward.”

My friend Brynden wrote “I had a best friend in middle school who was gay and we used to ride the same bus. We we’re so close… We did everything together. I even remember going to DC with him on our class trip and we wanted to be in the same room together, just the two of us. I cut him off because he accused me of stealing his iPod. We had the exact same iPod, same color and everything. And he accused me of stealing it and I knew who did it. I tried to explain to him what happened and he didn’t want to listen. I tried to fix that friendship many times but he didn’t want to listen so I dropped him like a bad habit. This was in 8th grade so like 2007-08ish.”

Another friend, called Wren, cut her whole sports team she was in out of her life. She writes, “They were my biggest supporters of me through my hiring process (as a police officer ) and then the pride 4 incident happened at the (Columbus, Ohio) Pride Parade in 2017. I had someone ask me how I felt and I answered honestly l, that while I agreed with their cause, they were breaking the law and so their arrest was a good arrest. And that was the end. People stopped talking to me or posted anti police sentiments on Facebook and at the end of the day I didn’t need to be seeing all that stuff so I just unfollowed/Unfriended a whole bunch of them. “

One friend, Marianne wrote about it from two different perspectives. I will say I know both she and her husband- and I can’t imagine somebody disapproving of him! She said , “Cutting someone out of our lives or being cut out is never something you expect to happen, however when it happens to you it is a slap in the face. I chose a partner my parents do not like and they choose to cut me out of their life due to my decisions. I have gone through the 5 stages of grief. I was in denial that my own flesh and blood would just disown me for my choice of spouse. I was angry with them that they would make me choose between my spouse or family. I tried barraging with them to not make me choose, to get to know my spouse. I went into a really deep depression, had to seek counseling, and now have accepted that this isn’t on me. I been without parts of my family for over 10 years now. Their loss. Now I have the other side of it where I have had to cut people out of my life. I used to work with a woman who just couldn’t get her life together. Dated wrong men, drank, did drugs and tried to kill herself. I took care of her multiple times, rescued her from bad situations in the middle of the night, cleaned her up, and finally I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. She would not do anything to help herself. I changed my number and she got fired from her job. Sad how we do all we can for people but sometimes we HAVE to cut them out of our life.”

My friend, Kristi said “ So, cutting people out has been and is a struggle for me. The hardest truth to realize is that people don’t always grow with you. Everyone is growing and making their own path. They could have been a best friend when you were younger, but now they are toxic to your happiness. This doesn’t necessarily make them an awful person or the scum of the earth, they just aren’t what you need currently in your life. My example is of my Uncle John. Growing up, I was sheltered from the strained relationship between my mom and her siblings. My two uncles are twins, but otherwise there is no blood relation there as my grandparents adopted my mom, my aunt, and my uncles. The adoption thing definitely adds a unique dynamic to the strain. Either way, my uncles were the coolest people in my mind while I was growing up. As I got older I started to pick up on some of the Dynamics going on between the siblings. This started to change my opinion of my uncle John in particular. When my mom was alive, she kinda kept the peace, but once she died it became full on war between the siblings and my dad, me, my ex husband, and my cousins. Mostly my uncles against everyone else. John was and is manipulative. I remember when he was forced into the role of being the primary caregiver for my grandparents (my mom had done this when she was alive), he wouldn’t really ask for help…he would manipulate people to help him. The one incident that stands out vividly is I was off and going to a doctor’s appointment. John was blowing up my phone and when I was done I called him back. I didn’t tell him I was at the doctor, I just said I was sleeping. He then was demanding that I have my phone on at all times in case he needed more or to buy a phone just for him to contact me. He then was trying to guilt me about how my grandparents paid for my school and how ungrateful I was. I was in tears. I hung up on him. That’s just a taste of some of the crap he has pulled. He stopped doing it toward me when he realized I wasn’t going to take his crap. At the end of my grandma’s life, he was very controlling about who could see my grandparents and when. We pretty much stopped celebrating holidays as a family at this point. When my grandma started actively dying he let us in more, but he was just a real POS about it all. Now that my grandma is gone, I feel more comfortable with my decision to cut him out of my life at this point. We had a group text where we say happy holidays and such, but I have no plans of seeing him anytime soon. I do know, though, that he is getting older and he has no family of his own and I am going to be stuck with his care, which I know I don’t have to take on, but I probably will only because I don’t think anyone should be alone when they are done and can’t do for themselves, but until then he is just too toxic to have in my life. I think cutting ties with family is the hardest thing. People always say blood matters more than anything, so when you do have truly toxic family members, it’s hard to just cut ties. Although I have no experience with cutting ties with a loved one that is addicted to drugs, I do know that situation is hard too. Especially knowing the type of person they were when they were healthy. You may want to look into that type of cutting out too. Sometimes the best thing for an addict is to just be cut off, but sometimes people just can’t. “

My friend, Irisa said, “The mother – daughter relationship is the most iconic relationship portrayed in literature. The depth and complexity portrayed for us on screen or between the pages is nothing compared to the actual relationship. I have never had a good relationship with my mother. The relationship that should be the source of love, nurturing and support has been the one causing anxiety, depression and panic. Decades of struggle with this relationship led me thru a lot of therapy and self-analysis. However, my greatest ah-ha moment came from an older co-worker. She was a vibrant dynamic woman that I had known for many years. One day she found me crying as I had just had another fight with my mom. After unloading my pain and frustration she looked me in the eye and told me this was a toxic relationship and that the key with a toxic relationship is to acknowledge what they are and walk away. She further went on to tell me that she had a grown son and that they did not like each other. They were toxic for each other and used to fight until they came to the agreement that they did not need to be a part of each other’s lives. They came to a point of respect for their relationship and spoke on birthdays and holidays, but that was it. They each ran their own lives. This moment was profound for me. It gave me permission to acknowledge that this was a toxic relationship and that it was okay for me to walk away. I had never been told that it was okay to not like my mother and the way she treated me. Quite the opposite. I had been told how ungrateful I was for not accepting the love given. The lesson of accepting love given, whether or not it felt right, set the stage for me to be abused many times over. I lived in a toxic relationship with my parents for 25 years. I allowed myself to be constantly criticized, shamed and abused. This example of accepting this as love led to me marrying a narcissistic man for 15 years. Once I had the courage to break away from my mom I was saddened that I had no family but relieved that I did not have to deal with the pain of constantly being told I wasn’t good enough by my mother. Unfortunately, this just tightened the negative dependence on loving a narcissist who told me I wasn’t good enough in other ways. Leaving a toxic relationship is difficult. Sometimes we have to blow up our lives and start over to do it. It took years of trying to leave my mother and then my husband before I was successful. But it wasn’t without consequences. My mother came back into my life after a ten year break as my father was diagnosed with cancer. I got a dying man’s wish to reconcile. Guilt propelled me to reconcile and hope. Hope that I would be good enough to love because the little girl in me was still looking for that love. Guilt because I was so harshly judged by everyone that I knew for abandoning my family. Judged because I didn’t do what all kids do and tolerate their parents. This reconciliation was almost a decade ago and I deeply regret it. I have drawn strong boundaries and live 10 hours away from my mother. Basically, the relationship that I have with her is one I have with FaceBook. If I would put it on a public forum like FaceBook, fine she can know that. Otherwise, my life is none of her business. Leaving my ex-husband was worse. It took a period of ten years to work up the courage to walk away and not feel responsible for his “I won’t live without you” comments. The result was me being trash talked to everyone I ever knew, my employers, and death threats from once mutual friends if he killed himself. My reputation in the community has been destroyed and my safety compromised. Due to these individuals my views of love, friendship and trust are deeply colored. I suffer from PTSD and anxiety and have deep confidence and abandonment issues. On the positive side the relationships that I do choose to participate in must be healthy. There must be a large amount of communication, time exchange must be equal; not one sided. As for my children, they know they are loved. I go out of my way to foster communication, love and friendship. And I pray each day my struggles do not harm those that I love. I pray each day that the love I have and give outweighs the pain and insecurity that I carry. “

So How Do You Cut Somebody Out of Your Life Anyways?

You can always do some spellwork to help you along the way, but 99% of the work at ending whatever relationship this is has to be done on the mundane level. After I list some mundane steps to take, I will include a short, simple spell that can help you begin the process.

The steps taken to do so don’t necessarily have to fall into the order I am putting them in, and each person has to do this in a way that is best for them. I also can’t include everything and will probably think of more things after I turn this article in! Much of this list is just things to tell yourself to get your mind and focus right. The actual cutting off of a relationship is often the fastest part of the process, and may not even entail a formal goodbye.

  1. Make the decision to do this for yourself. This is not for your significant other, your kids, your family, your friends, or anybody else. If you cut somebody out of your life for the benefit of somebody else, other people will be able to talk you into taking said individual back for their benefit. No. This is for you.
  2. Tell yourself that you matter. Many times, people who mistreat us have successfully convinced us that we have to be selfless and put ourselves last, or we are somehow bad people. While we don’t want to be self-centered, greedy people, refusing to be in relationships that are not working for us does not make us wrong. You matter.
  3. Don’t let the fact you love somebody dictate your life. You can love somebody, but if they try to cut your throat in your sleep, I am sorry-not sorry, but that relationship needs to go. You can love somebody and not be involved with them.
  4. Depending on things, you may deem it wise to just disappear from their lives. There doesn’t always have to be a “heart to heart talk” or “goodbye”. Most especially if they have been able to manipulate you in the past into staying with promises things will be better, or they will change. Also, your safety needs to be taken into account. I once moved out when somebody who was toxic to me was not home to avoid a showdown. If somebody is not being good to you, no, you do NOT owe them a “respectful explanation” if it means bad things for you.
  5. Do not let anybody tell you that you have to forgive and forget and go on like nothing changed. Nobody else has the right to dictate this to you. If you do forgive, that is your right, but you don’t have to keep them in your life because of it.
  6. If you live together, they keep their things, and you keep yours, and you are allowed to leave behind gifts or things they gave you, but don’t waste your time demanding back things you gave them. In the event of divorce, it all gets written up who gets what, including money, and both parties sign legal documentation. There is no reason to be nasty or spiteful and throw their things to the curb our out a window like in the movies, but sometimes, people cannot be civil, and you need a third party to help with the move. Some of us don’t like dragging people into our business, but there are times when it is necessary for safety or to have a witness. If you need to involve the police, don’t be afraid to do so.
  7. Once you make up your mind to break off your relationship, then you need to decide what method of doing so is best. I know it is tacky to do a phone call or text, but honestly, some people go ballistic, and if you cannot emotionally deal with that, get your belongings out first, make sure there is nothing else left to exchange, and just leave a message if needs be. I know it is not PC to do so, but some people leave us no choice.
  8. Do not worry about what people will say. Hey can think or say whatever they want to. Most especially if this is a long-term relationship, somebody might just take sides, and respond by cutting you out. Good riddance to them, I say. We can only hope they don’t let the door hit them on the way out. People who try to punish you for not keeping people in your life who are not good for you are not your friends. You do not need them.
  9. Allow yourself adjustment time after the relationship is over. Most especially if you spent a lot of time with your loved one, it is going to really hurt. Some people will NOT be missed, and you will feel a huge sense of relief when they are gone from your life. But despite that, a hole may remain where they were, and you need to be aware of that so as not to fill that vacancy with somebody equally as bad for you as this person you just cut out. You have to be patient and forgiving of yourself if you mourn the loss of somebody who just was not worth it. Feel the way you feel, and deal with it in the way that works for you.
  10. If, in the future things change, and you decide you want to give your relationship another chance, that is okay, but then again, you don’t have to. You may want to, but decide it is just not worth it. That is okay. You may decide to try again, and be pleasantly surprised when things work out. I do not recommend trying again with somebody who was abusive. While it is your right, I do not recommend taking a chance that could put you back in a bad situation,
  11. When in doubt, consult your gods and guides. Some guides are human, and are people you can turn to for advice and wisdom. Sometimes, all we need to do is to reach out to the divine within us, and all the answers are there. Other times, we are too upset and close to the situation, and it takes another set of eyes and another voice to help us to see just what we need to do.

Beyond the mundane, we can still use magic to help us. I have a few suggested “breakup” workings!

Simple “Breakup “ Spells

There are multiple things you can do. I recommend a few different things.

  1. Forget Him/Forget Her- You can get oil or candles to use. I was once absolutely heartbroken over a man, and the shopkeeper/Priest sold me “Forget Him” oil. I am telling you, I used a dab of that on my neck every day, and looked at myself in the mirror every day as I did it, and told myself all the reasons this man was NOT worth crying over, and I needed to just forget him. I think I used that for a couple of weeks, and one day, I woke up, and I had absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever anymore. If your local shop does not carry this, do an online search and have some shipped in. Best few dollars I spent on such a working yet!
  2. What I always do when I KNOW things are 100% done, over, and through? I get rid of every last item they gave me, or that has any of them attached to it at all. This has meant getting rid of things I really liked, but it is one way to get ALL of them out of your life. Think of all the energy that goes into items attached to them. THAT is part of them. If you really want them out of your life, every last item you can bear to part with has got to go. I even delete photos online. Yes, I do. Holding onto those things is holding on to them, and if I am done, all items have to go. There may come a time when you cannot part with every last thing, however. Say you bought a house together, you get custody of the children, and you are flat out NOT going to give up your home. What you can do is cleanse, and consecrate the item, banishing their energies. In a case like this, a lot of people , even non-magical folk will completely redecorate. Removing every trace of somebody is helpful of getting them out of your life. Things like engagement jewelry or wedding rings need to be sold or given away. As both a friend and I discovered, wedding or engagement jewelry holds the hopes and string feelings from a relationship, and the second we parted with them, we immediately felt a great weight lifted! I hear about men demanding diamond engagement rings back from women who change their minds and call off the engagement, and sometimes the woman holds on to the ring. If you want a diamond that badly, buy one that you like for yourself and that represents nothing else. The more negative things like spite go into a ring, the more it hurts you to hold onto it.
  3. Photographs can be altered. My mother, a talented witch who never even knew she was one- had a great practice. She would cut people out of pictures with her. She did not want one visual reminder of them. It works. I go a step farther, as seeing the butchered photos reminds me of who USED to be in the pictures. I just throw out pictures, and remove all online pictures as well.
  4. Separate poppets- Ye Olde Poppet spellwork never fails. Make a poppet of you both, and attach the two of you together. If you were best friends, sew the hands together like you are holding hands. If you want to separate from your mother, attach your poppet together with hers with an “umbilical cord.” If you are lovers, just go right ahead and attach at the crotch. Why not? Attach your poppet with their poppet in the most appropriate place. Then remove the attachment. If the friends hands are sewn together, gently remove the stitches. The point is not to HURT the other poppet by cutting it up, but to REMOVE the connection and painlessly as possible. Once you remove it, take the thing that held the poppets together, and destroy it. You can even just throw it in the trash. You can burn it and blow the ashes away. You can throw it in the river and watch it float away. Whatever place that feels best to discard that attachment, go for it. Then, take their poppet, and after saying a protection spell over it, leave it someplace away from you. You can be compassionate and leave it someplace they loved, or if you are REALLY ANGRY, leave it someplace they hated. Just anywhere but nearby your poppet. As for your poppet, it represents who you once were when you were with them. You are not that person anymore, so your poppet can be put someplace that represents your past with them. Since it is the OLD you, don’t worry about any attachment with your present or future. Just make sure not to leave the poppets near each other.

The very most important thing to keep in mind when deciding to cut somebody out of your life is that this is YOUR life, and you have the right to include only the people and things that uplift, benefit, and otherwise improve your life.

Not everybody does this. Likewise, there is going to come a day when you are not good for somebody else, and they need to cut you out.

It’s never easy, it’s never fun, and sometimes, it’s downright devastating. When every attempt has failed, and it’s time to end a relationship, remember why you loved each other enough to spend time together in the first place, and use that love to let each other go on to better times apart.

May your heart heal anytime it breaks, and may your relationships be good for as long as they are meant to be.

Blessed Be!

***

About the Author:

Saoirse is a recovered Catholic.  I was called to the Old Ways at age 11, but I thought I was just fascinated with folklore. At age 19, I was called again, but I thought I was just a history buff, and could not explain the soul yearnings I got when I saw images of the Standing Stones in the Motherland. At age 29, I crossed over into New Age studies, and finally Wicca a couple years later. My name is Saoirse, pronounced like (Sare) and (Shah) Gaelic for freedom. The gods I serve are Odin and Nerthus. I speak with Freyja , Norder, and Thunor as well. The Bawon has been with me since I was a small child, and Rangda has been with me since the days I was still Catholic. I received my 0 and 1 Degree in an Eclectic Wiccan tradition, and my Elder is Lord Shadow. We practice in Columbus, Ohio. I am currently focusing more on my personal growth, and working towards a Second and Third Degree with Shadow. I received a writing degree from Otterbein University back in 2000. I have written arts columns for the s Council in Westerville. I give private tarot readings and can be reached through my Facebook page Tarot with Saoirse. You can, also, join me on my Youtube Channel.

Retha’s Crystal Reflections

November, 2018

Crystals for Healing- My Top Picks

One of the most important things we can use our crystal allies for is healing of all kinds. There are professional crystal healers that you can go to which is a wonderful experience, or you can treat yourself with crystals you have at home. These are my personal favorites, all for different reasons. I have had some amazing results from some and I will share which ones I have experienced this with. All of these are worth adding to your arsenal of tools. These are in no particular order. Each is very special and beneficial for different ailments. Lets get started!

Smoky Quartz

Since smoky quartz absorbs and transmutes negative energy, this is an appropriate stone for healing. Holding it against the skin at the site of your pain or disease will help pull the bad stuff out. I have personally seen smoky quartz perform a miracle. It healed my husband a few years ago when he developed a lump/growth on his throat. After leaving the ER and 3 separate Drs looking at it with concern, we went home and he held a piece in his hand and against his throat as much as he could over the next day until we could get him seen by the specialist. When we got to his appointment and the Dr looked in his throat… It was completely gone! He even had a camera put down there to look….and there was nothing there. The lump had been there for weeks growing bigger….Drs saw it….I saw it. (This was our personal experience and can’t be expected to work miracles every time), but I’m sharing this because its worth trying if you have anything you are suffering with whether minor or major. It could really help!

Bloodstone

Bloodstone, which is red jasper in green jasper, has been used for thousands of years as a healing stone. It’s used to detoxify and purify the body. It can regenerate cells and tissue, making it a go-to wound treatment. It’s the athletes stone, it was used in ancient Rome and Greece for amulets to wear during athletic competitions for confidence, endurance, to increase physical strength and to protect from injury or disease. Bloodstone is great for circulation and for muscle aches and pains. It even heals emotional wounds and helps stabilize moods. 

Lithium Quartz & Lepidolite

Lithium Quartz contains lithium. As does Lepidolite. Both are the same but remember quartz amplifies, so working with lithium quartz has the added benefit of the quartz to magnify the lepidolite. Lithium is a medication for bipolar disorder. The pharmaceutical company’s mine Lepidolite to use for making the medication. You can use Lepidolite (especially rough) to run your fingers over and it flakes off in sheets or layers as you rub (it’s a type of mica which is a layered flake mineral) You will see a glittery substance on your finger after rubbing it. This is the medicine entering you through your skin. No worries, you cannot overdose or overdo it! These are the perfect stones for stress relief of any kind, anxiety, mood disorders, depression, panic attacks, and all mental disorders. (Please use this in addition to any psych meds you already take-this is not a replacement to your medication, its meant to compliment not replace). Lepidolite/lithium quartz also helps with grief and loss and deep emotional pain. It heals the heart during these circumstances and reduces shock and confusion. Great for grief of children and pets. It helps you to be in harmony with spirit to feel more content and serene. 

Sodalite

Sodalite brings emotional balance and calms panic attacks. It helps with insomnia and provides inner peace and a calm mental state. It helps reduce nightmares (great for children to sleep with) and fears. It reduces tension and anxiety. It helps emotional healing especially related to guilt and phobias. It helps with PTSD. Great for any kind of mental illness. It filters out negative energy. It balances the immune system, overcomes calcium deficiencies and balances the metabolism. It helps control blood pressure, reduce edema and heals the heart. Great for any kind of throat ailments. For me, sodalite works best for me when I have a migraine or headache. I lay down and place it on my forehead with my eyes closed. It’s worked when nothing else would. Its my go to when I feel a headache coming on. 

Danburite

Danburite is one of my favorite crystals. It’s a synergy 12 stone and is a master healer. It’s an amazing stone for any long-term ailments. It regulates cell disorders, activates T cells and the thymus, lowers high blood pressure, treats the liver and gallbladder, aids with muscle and motor function and alleviates pain and migraines. It can prevent heart attacks and heal heart conditions. It clears allergies and has a very strong detoxifying effect. It also lessons fatigue and helps you to overcome shock and trauma. 

Golden Healer Quartz

Golden healer quartz activates healing on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. It helps to raise your vibrations and frequencies in your body and releases blockages. It restores the bodies balance and encourages peace. It’s a master healer for any condition, repairs cellular memory, enhances the organs and stimulates the immune system.

Sugilite

Sugilite imparts a sense of calm and reduces fear and tensions which have a negative side effect on your physical health. Sugilite that contains high amounts of manganese are great pain relievers. It treats arthritis and pain from any kind of inflammation. It also relieves headaches. It may also help the body to fight viruses. It’s a perfect stone for those going through cancer treatments. Sugilite is a comprehensive healing stone for healing both the body and the mind. 

Chlorite Quartz

Chlorite Quartz is a powerful healing combo. The quartz as we know amplifies the chlorite purifying and detoxifying properties. It works on both the physical and auric body. It cleanses the chakras, aura, and energy meridians. It’s great for dealing with excessive anger and frustration. It helps you process and move on to acknowledge, forgive, release and move forward. It also resolves issues of the heart. 

Tibetan Quartz

Tibetan quartz is quartz that comes from Tibet. They are hard to access and very powerful master healers. They are usually easy to ID because of their signature black inclusions (which some believe are carbon inclusions but others disagree) and they are normally double terminated as well. Tibetan quartz heals all of the bodies energy centers. It gives out energies which activate and balance the chakras and meridian system. It helps you to heal by clearing, especially the lower chakras of trauma. This is a perfect choice for treating any long-term illnesses. 

Blue Kyanite & Green Kyanite

Blue kyanite aligns and clears all the chakras. It balances yin/yang energy and dispels blockages. It provides calming and brings tranquility. This is a powerful stone for broken bones, or surgery on any part of the body. It’s helpful for sciatica, joint pain, neuralgia, arthritis, allergies and strengthens the immune system. It’s also great for bipolar and Alzheimer’s.

Green kyanite is a great variety of kyanite for healing. In general green stones can always be used for healing. Green kyanite can improve emotional balance, health and performance and relieve stress and distress. Great for the heart, nervous system,  for hormonal balance and immune system response. 

I hope this helps to get you started on performing your own crystal healing. It’s as simple as holding the appropriate stones in your hands or placing them against the area of your body that is hurting. Meditating or sleeping with the crystals are others ways to get benefits. Give one of these a try to start out. It helps to also keep a journal or log of your experiences to refer back to so you’re able to track what works or doesn’t work for you.

These properties are just guidelines. Remember we are all individuals and what works for one person may not work the same for another. Trial & error will help you narrow down what works for yourself specifically. Good luck and I’d love to hear about your experience with any of these crystals! Feel free to email me or contact me via fb to share with me! Thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to read and I hope you will come back next month too!

Crystal Blessings and I hope you had a blessed Samhain!

Sources:

Sagegoddess.com

Ravencrystals.com

Healingcrystals.com

Charmsoflight.com

***

About the Author:

Retha N. Lent has been married for 17 years to her husband Mark & they have four cats that are their life. She lives in Norristown, Pa. Retha has her Bachelor’s of Science degree in Behavioral Counseling Sciences from Drexel University. She is the owner of “Retha’s Crystals” & sells sterling silver unique crystal jewelry & specimens on her FB business page. She has a FB group for her customers and those interested in learning more about crystals & all things magical called “Retha’s Crystal Circle“. She is also an advisor in the Sage Goddess Affiliate Program. She has her Holistic Healing Certificate and Pillars of Priestessing certificates from Sage Goddess. She is also an Ordained Pagan Minister from the Universal Life Church. Retha has a passion for crystals, nature, astrology, working with moon cycles, ritual practices, tarot and oracle cards, runes, essential oils, herbs, manifestation work, ancient cultures, magic & music. Her favorite place is New Orleans, La. Retha has an extensive personal crystal collection and loves sharing her love of crystals with the world. She has been a practicing pagan since she was 16 years old. 

You can reach her at rethalent@hotmail.com or on her business page on FB: https://www.facebook.com/Rethas-Crystals-197411227666484/

Or in her FB group:

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1960619300929876

Her Sage Goddess affiliate link is:

www.sagegoddess.com/ref/84/

Or follow her on Instagram at @spookygirl16