eyes

Goddess in the Flesh

August, 2018

It is almost impossible to meet every beauty standard. It is almost impossible for the beauty, diet and medical industries to “approve” of your body, skin, hair and eyes. In a world that deliberately shifts the “should’s” and shames that attacks and blames, loving yourself is an act of rebellion.

What is reviled in one country is celebrated in another. From skinny shaming to fat-hating what stays the same is the entitlement of male-gaze, the disgust and ownership of the female form. The idea that women are objects for public consumption is at the root of both modesty and pornography.

My mum was a fat hater and a fat-shamer. So was my dad. This meant that while I was “not pretty” I had the good grace to be thin and clever. I prized this things because both came easily to me. I can’t tell if I was an exercise addict, someone who coped with anxiety through exercise, or just very active. I would roll at of bed at dawn and do 30 sit-ups, until about the age of 17. Exercise makes me feel good, helps me focus and is something I really enjoy, though I can’t do much, if any, these days. I didn’t diet, far from it I ate a huge amount, but as a dancer I knew plenty of girls who ate tissue to not be hungry. Girls who didn’t eat for half of the school week to be “thin enough” to go out on a Friday. Fat was a mystery to me. A softness I was scared of. Still find frightening on occasion.

Fat was “weakness” and was far too vulnerable to the rough grabbing hands. No I wanted to be hard, strong and never weak. Of course I hated myself plenty. My wonky nose, crocked teeth, my ginger curly hair. Once I stopped dancing I grew breasts quickly. They came as something of a shock to me. I went from a B to a D cup in a very short time and they had their perks I was sort of mystified by this fleshier body.

As I got older, and then had children my weight was the first thing my mum would comment about.

You look fat, and not the jolly kind.”

Oh you lost weight, your face looks better.”

You are thin enough now, much skinnier you’ll look ill.”

Of course my mum was a much better feminist than I was because I had “given myself over to the yoke of motherhood” instead of doing something “more important”. My feminism was “too soft” and far too feminine and far too fat for her.

I have been all different sizes, shapes and tones and while I was more desired by men when I was thinner and more toned I have rarely been happy with myself. Rarely felt self-love or safety in my skin. I fear the toxic seep of this self-loathing for my daughter. I wonder what seeds I have sown accidentally. I have been working on loving myself for years and sometimes I feel I get there.

So how do we create real change? How do we dismantle huge industries that promote self-loathing as self-care? How do we dare to be soft when it hurts so much? How do we find our strength in body, spirit and mind? I think we must make Goddess figurines. Thousands of them, millions. Ones that are like us, as we are, not as we wish to be. Some with huge voluptuous breasts or none to speak of. Some with long legs, or no legs. With curly coils, or no hair. With lines and scars. With powerful thighs and big arses. So that we know our flesh is powerful and beautiful and important. That we are worthy, fat, scarred, skinny and all. For in reclaiming our image as beautiful, as sacred art maybe we will love ourselves just a little bit more.

Oracles and Omens

September, 2010

Omens and superstitions have been around for hundreds of years, maybe longer. The more the tale is exaggerated the more we tend to enjoy it. My Grandmother was the Queen of old wives tales. She put so much emphasis in what she said that I have never forgotten any of her stories or superstitions. I now tell my own Grandchildren. I believe without Superstition our lives would be dull and unimaginative. I hope that you enjoy what you read here and remember, just because it’s a Superstition doesn’t mean it won’t take form in Your life.

The-Black-Cat

*A cat sitting with its back to the Fire is an Omen that the weather will soon change.
*Hearing a cat Cry before leaving on a journey is Bad Luck.
*It is Good Luck if someone gives you a Black cat.
*A cat jumping over a Dead Body will cause the body to become a Vampire.
*If a Cat Follows you, you will soon come Into Money.
*If a Cat Sneezes it Is Lucky.
*When a Cat Washes it Face Visitor’s will soon Arrive.
*Stroke a Cat’s tail Nine times for Luck at Playing cards.
*To Protect a home place a Statue of a Cat on the roof. 

The-Besom

*There is a rule that must Always be followed~ Never Move a Broom from one Home to Another. Negativity will come with it.
*To Purify the home you move from Swing your Broom around your Head Three times in Each Room.
*For unwanted Guests place a Broom behind the Door with the Bristles facing Upward. If the Visitors still Refuse to Leave Stick a Fork into the bristles.
*If a Broom drops across a Doorway, soon you will Embark on a Journey. You Must pick it up Quickly and Do Not step Over it.
*When the Rain continues on, create images of Brooms and paste them to Your doors And fences to Bring Clear Weather and Sunshine.
*If you shall Fall from your Hands while you Sweep, make a Wish Before picking it up.
*If the Desire for Marriage is your Longing, Jump over a Broom nine Times and within a Year, Your Wish will come True.
*To Bring Rain go Outdoors and Swing a Broom in the Air over your Head.
*If it is your Wish to use Your Broom as a Lightening rod. Put your Broom on the porch, it has been Said that Lightening and Electricity are Attracted to Brooms.
*Laying a Broom across a Doorway allows Departed friends and Family to Communicate freely with you.
*If you Feel that Unfriendly Spirits are haunting you, Step over a Broomstick and it will prevent Them from Disturbing you for Ever more.
*When Nightmares keep you from Sleep, hang a Broom from your Bed Room door and place Garlic beneath your Pillow.
*Always sweep in the direction of the Fireplace if you Do Not have one sweep Anywhere, but toward the Front door so you do not your Homes’ Good Luck away. 

The-Eyes

*Blue ~ Intelligence and Divine Powers
*Gray ~ Calculating
*Green ~ Creative
*Brown ~ Flirts before Marriage, but is Loyal Afterward
*Eyelashes of the Right eye curl Down ~ A Good Omen for men; Bad Omen for Women.
*Beware of the One whose Eyebrows meet, because in the Heart there Lies Deceit.
*Eye- shaped Charms are worn often to Ensure good Health, courage And Wisdom.
*A man’s right Eye twitching ~ Good Luck
*The Left eye ~ Bad luck
*A woman’s Right eye Twitching ~ Bad luck
*The Left Eye ~ Good Luck
*Right eye Itching ~ Expect good Luck
*The left ~ Expect Bad Luck
*Eyebrows*
*Arched ~ Imaginative
*Curved ~ Inquiring
*Heavy ~ Blunt
*Straight ~ Alert
*Joins the Nose ~ Lucky, Untruthful, indicates a Vampire or Werewolf
~ Beware of the One whose Eyebrows Meet, because in The Heart lies Deceit ~
*Meeting a Person of the Opposite Sex who is cross Eyed ~ Good Luck
*Eye shadow of Blue on the top Lid and Green on the Bottom will Strengthen Optic Powers and Provide Protection
~ Superstitions are Upheld by people whose Lives are different from those Who Fear the unknown. The Energy of these Forces are used To control and Perform actions to Protect oneself. The negativity that awaits in Every corner is a Risk that the Beholder is Not willing to Take. Perform the Ritual and Believe. It Will happen or Not.