feminist

A Woman’s Place

May, 2018

Judging Women Ourselves & Others

One of the things that stand out for me in the everyday world is how women judge themselves, and other women, so harshly.

It happens between friends when one is unintentionally hurt by the words of others. In a friendship, for the most part, although there are exceptions, no one ever wants to hurt the other, but it happens. You apologize and, with hope, move forward.   

Stop a moment and think about how much and how often we judge others; those we know, and more often, those we do not know.  This is especially prevalent in women; women judging ourselves and women cruelly judging other women.  We do it; we ALL do it, even those who believe we are enlightenedand feminist in our thinking, whether we wish to admit it to ourselves or not.

I am of the opinion that this is the way this patriarchal culture, this male-dominated society, has trained us to be so.  I am not going to go into the many wrongs done to women and to people of color by a white-male privileged society, not here anyway and not yet (fair warning).  This is more to the way women are trained from birth to judge and to distrust other women.

It would appear that the most important thing any female can do in this culture is to find a man, keep him, marry him and raise a family.  We are told this continually, we see it daily in movies, on TV, in books (for those fortunate enough to love to read).  This is the life we are trained for.  Little girls get toy vacuums, little plastic kitchens, tea sets; we are the ones who are taught to set the table, clean the house, do the chores, and maybe get taught how to cook, at least the basics.  As we grow older, we shave the unwanted hair on our bodies, make ourselves up like kewpie dolls, all in the name of getting a man”.  

(Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash)

As we look around at the men available to us, the women who should be our friends, our allies, somehow become our enemies, our rivals, in the getting of a man.  So, we look at them.  What do they have that I dont have?  What color is their hair?  Are they fat?  Are they thin?  Who looks at them and who looks at me?  We slowly begin to judge ourselves how do we stack up compared to them.  Media and culture being what it is, we NEVER come out on top.  There is something wrong with us, because we are TOLD something is wrong with us.   We begin to judge the other women.  If we are not perfect, then neither are they.  This does not make us sympathetic to them because we can relate; this makes us judge them even more harshly.  It becomes shes ugly”, shes so fat, shes easy, whatever the hell that might be.  The names being “fatso”, “slut”, “whore”, bitch”.  How often do the mean girlsstop and think about how they may feel if these words were hurled at them in hatred?  Unfortunately, words like this are said by even those who are not considered the mean girls and it continues into adulthood. When women, themselves, judge each other, see each other as “enemies”, how hard does patriarchy need to work to put us down? Not very hard as we put ourselves down.

This, I believe, is one of the biggest problems faced by feminism, and, really, it does not matter if you are a radical feminist, or a liberal feminist or anything in between because we are all affected. Seriously, how do you get a woman raised to believe they are second-best, inferior, not-good-enough, to get rid of the judging, get rid of the distrust and band together, stand together to fight the status quo?  

I don’t pretend to have the answer, but I believe it starts by teaching little girls they are valuable, they are worthy, they are important.  We teach them that the Divine once was, and still is, a woman.  We continue this dialogue that has already begun, with each and every woman we meet in real life and online.  We create sacred circles of women to stand together and be strong and TEACH each younger generation of women what is right and what has been wrong for so, so long in the treatment of women and it has to change and it has to begin, and continue, with women.

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About the Author:

Susan Morgaine is a Daughter of the Goddess, Witch, Writer, Teacher, Healer, and Yogini. She is a monthly columnist with PaganPages.org Her writings can be found in The Girl God Anthologies, “Whatever Works: Feminists of Faith Speak” and “Jesus, Mohammed and the Goddess”, as well as Mago Publications “She Rises, Volume 2, and “Celebrating Seasons of the Goddess”. She has also been published in Jareeda and SageWoman magazines. She is a Certified Women’s Empowerment Coach/Facilitator through She is the author of “My Name is Isis”, one in the series of the “My Name Is………” children’s books published by The Girl God Publications. A Woman International, founded by Patricia Lynn Reilly. She has long been involved in Goddess Spirituality and Feminism, teaching classes and workshops, including Priestessing Red Tents within MA and RI. She is entering her 20th year teaching Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, being a Certified instructor through the Kundalini Research Institute, as well as being a Reiki Master. She is a member of the Sisterhood of Avalon. She can be found at https://mysticalshores.wordpress.com/ and her email is MysticalShores@gmail.com

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A Woman’s Place…

September, 2017

(Menstrual Night. Original art by Emily Balivet, may be found on her etsy site EmilyBalivet.)


Welcome to “A Woman’s Place……”, Pagan Pages’ new feminist column.

As some may have noticed, with the election to the US presidency of a man who is a racist, misogynist, homophobic, narcissistic bully, incidents of racism, anti-semitism, homophopia and misogyny are rising at a massive rate, all of which are distressing and disturbing. This column will address each of these issues, as feminism, for many of us, goes beyond just equal rights for women, but equal rights and social justice for all.

Recently, while scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came upon this article – America 2017: Georgia Woman Fired for Menstruating on the Job

With this, we harken back to biblical times, when women were unclean and had to be kept separate from the rest of their tribe.

With this, we harken back to the days when women would hide their moon-time supplies in a closet so that the children, and yes, their husbands would not see them and remind them that our bodies do something *dirty* every month.

With this, we, each of us, remember that day when we were still young (or older, it doesn’t matter) that we were caught unprepared and were laughed at, or worse yet, called disgusting names such as “pig” and hear “ugh, what the hell is that?” What woman has not been there at some point in her life.

It is a simple fact that all women get their periods, and that most of us, at one time or another, will have an accident.

This does not mean, as this article states that, (she failed to)…..”practice high standards of personal hygiene and maintain a clean, neat appearance while on duty”. This comment by her employer intimates that because this woman had her period, she was not clean (read: unclean).

The slippery slope that women have been on these past few years has just gotten more slippery. We are close to losing bodily autonomy. We can now lose our jobs for healthy bodily functions. There is at least one state out there that has voted for us to not have jobs or homes if we take birth control or have had an abortion. See: Missouri Votes to Let Employers Fire People Who Use Birth Control

Women need to fight back, just as this GA woman who was fired from her job is fighting back. She is not fighting back just for herself, she is fighting back for all of us. We should all stand with her because if we do not, who will stand up for us when the time comes? It will come, this is the direction we are being led by the patriarchal culture that we live in.

Yes, I know, there are women who see this and say, “well, she is dirty if she cannot keep that from happening”. I have seen the comments. Many feminists think of women such as this as traitors, and male-identified. This may be so, maybe not, I have no idea. What I do know is that as women, we need to stand together and support and encourage each other, not judge each other and drag each other down.

As women, have you heard of The Red Tent Movement? It is for reasons such as this, that this movement exists. Women need to connect to other women. We need to remember that our bodies, our blood is sacred. It is powerful; it is magickal. Our blood is keyed to the phases of the moon – how cool is that? Women need to educate themselves, start to see and believe in the sacredness of who they are, find the Goddess within and without. See: Red Tent Temple Movement 

So, please be aware, look around and wake up to the things that are happening around you, especially now while we are in the power of a man and the majority of a political party that would seem to hate women, and want them to be put back in the place they once occupied.

Have you watched or read The Handmaid’s Tale? Our bodies are being policed more and more, and this is no longer fiction.

Oh, the name of this column, “A Woman’s Place……”? In case you didn’t know where that place was, I will give you a hint — it’s everywhere.

*Disclaimer: The opinions reflected here belong to the author and in no way reflect the opinion of Pagan Pages or any of their other columnists.

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About the Author:

Susan Morgaine is a Daughter of the Goddess, Witch, WriterTeacher, Healer, and Yogini. She is a monthly columnist with PaganPages.org Her writings can be found in The Girl God Anthologies, Whatever Works: Feminists of Faith Speak” and Jesus, Mohammed and the Goddess, as well as Mago Publications She Rises, Volume 2, and “Celebrating Seasons of the Goddess”. She has also been published in Jareeda and SageWoman magazines. She is a Certified Womens Empowerment Coach/Facilitator through Imagine A Woman International, founded by Patricia Lynn Reilly. She has long been involved in Goddess Spirituality and Feminism, teaching classes and workshops, including Priestessing Red Tents within MA and RI. She is entering her 20th year teaching Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, being a Certified instructor through the Kundalini Research Institute, as well as being a Reiki Master. She is a member of the Sisterhood of Avalon. She can be found at https://mysticalshores.wordpress.com/ and her email is MysticalShores@gmail.com

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