Grieving

Celebrating Samhain with Norma Clark of Forevrgoddess Boutique

October, 2018

 

Family/Ancestor Memorial

 

Celebrating the Life and Death of deceased love ones with a new tradition.
The Moment your Love one has their Final breath you will miss them, then grief will set in its common to have 7 stages of grieving. Some deaths are quick and sudden, other’s, a long slow process. Death has been with us since the beginning of time. We’re born, we grow, maybe have a family of our own, then reach old age. We pass on to the next journey in life.  

The spirits of other worlds can come and go anytime with enough energy. Others wait till the veil between both worlds are thin then they can burst through. Around Mabon/Autumn equinox & Samhain/All Hallow’s Eve. There are other times spirits can move freely during the year like Beltane and Midsummer eve.

I grew up a weird combination of Irish/Scottish and Salvadoran. My father was white Irish/Scottish and mother was from El Salvador.  Growing up my dad was older he was a quiet man, didn’t speak much. But he was always into the paranormal. My mother was open with Spanish Catholic traditions. She was gifted. She told me of spirits appearing in her life and how they affect things and those around. My father adopted her 6 children from there and brought them to the USA. Life in El Salvador, deep down there, was beautiful jungle and countryside, coffee, plantains and other types of farm land. Where she was from you could see more primal life force spirit still worshiped with New Christian Gods. The Native Indians of her lands had traditions handed down.


This opened a door for many of my mother family and relatives to come here to the USA. For a new way of life to support those down in El Salvador or those here. I know my parents home was a portal, so many have come and gone they felt safe and loved mostly. Here I can’t count the times my mother would get anxious feelings and would call late to El Salvador. We would find out a relative was very sick or passed away. My mom would send money, light a candle, pray to certain saints and the virgin de Guadalupe for support. She used herbs for relatives in need here within our home to help heal them. There were many stories of my mom helping others.

Other times in my parents home spirit might make it self known banging on window, cold breezes moving things, or they would just appear sitting on the couch in the living room. When a relative passed away, she would use the bedroom or kitchen corner by the sink and light 7 day candle, put a photo, glass of water and maybe sometimes she would put some sweet bread.  She said the spirit will need a place to come replenish their energy, to feed from so they could continue their journey to pass messages, or visit living relatives.

For me being Wiccan, being Celtic, I remembered reading about dumbsuppers, to open your door to spirits and ancestors of your family. Share your meal with them. My mother did similar traditions from her home. They would celebrate Dia de Finados, dearly departed. They would make flower arrangements or wreaths to go in the cemetery (tombs above ground). They cleaned tombs, decorated them with flowers and spent the day there. Growing up after my dad died in 1992 we would go to the cemetery and put flowers on my dad’s grave, some on grandparents graves and we’d bring big colorful blankets, food and since we could park 12 feet away, we’d have music playing. Then say prayers for them to bless them. Then talk about the moments we shared with the deceased. Which we continue to do now that my mom has passed on.

With Samhain approaching I wanted to share my story and maybe some ideas to consider. When working with spirits of loved ones, you want them to find their place of rest be it heaven, Summerland, over rainbow bridge, or an other eternal resting place. Look to other articles and books about other resting places. I’ll mentioned a few later to consider. Combine, adapt, create your own unique way to honor departed loved ones or ancestors. Share photos, meals, memories they loved. Write them down in your journal everything you can remember. Don’t be surprised if a spirit makes itself known in your presence.

Do a divination with tarot cards, pendulum, or my favorite crystal scrying to gain wisdom or guidance at this moment in life or the beginning of the new year.

I find a cheap battery candle from the dollar store to light on the altar with the photos of love ones who passed on. I use the battery activated candles to be safe in case my active toddler tries to climb up on my altar or one of my cats get too curious.


Decorate your altar with mementos, flowers, incense, favorite gemstones, even some sweet treat to enjoy, and maybe a glass of their favorite drink. Ask your Patron Goddess or God to bless them in time of rest.

After Samhain if you still sense the presence of departed loved ones, here is a Goddess that lent me help move them to their more appropriate  place: I asked Hekate to help me move my older, playful, black Dog Cholee to her resting  place. She would not leave. She’d been lingering  around our home and back yard for over a week. When working with any Goddess or God Be Respectful,  Give an Offering for their help.

 

Finally I wanted to share a few boxes from my boutique, these boxes are a Memorial for your Dearly Departed Love Ones and Pet/Familiar. We provide Spirit Votives, 4 Gemstones for Crystal Healing – Grieving, and 1 twin soul crystal point, and ideas to celebrate their life in remembrance. We will be adding more items for  Samhain Inspired Memorial Gifts. Blessings of love and light – Norma

Psycho Pomps – Those whom guide the dead to the afterlife:


Valkyries – Norse

Banshees

Hounds of Annwn – Celtic

Hekate

Persephone

Hades

Hermes

Iris

Charon

Charos – Greek

Agwe

Sirene

the Barons -Voodu

For information on celebrating Samhain with the dearly departed and other customs look to the following books:


The pagan book of Halloween -Gerina Dunwich
Halloween -Silver Ravenwolf
Llewellyn Sabbats Alamanc -(Any Year will do)

For More spirit ,Goddess, Gods to help with the deceased, a good book is:

Encyclopedia of Spirits: The Ultimate Guide to the Magic of Fairies, Genies, Demons, Ghosts, Gods & Goddesses -Judika Illes

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About the Author:


Norma Clark I’m Wiccan, My style follows my spiritual path, and what comes to mind.. I live in a small rural town, Paris, Idaho. I share my life With my
Wiccan husband, 2 hyper Children, and gang of critters. I love to create new designs by looking at nature, cultural ideas for my Jewelry and create unique Metaphysical items. COME Sit For A  Spell or Two , And See the Magick of Forevrgoddessboutique

Spell-Struck

August, 2013

5 Steps of Grieving Blend

 

 

We are all on different paths, going through different experiences, but some things are the same for everyone. One of those is the five steps of the grieving process that we all must face and walk through when there is a major loss in our lives.

Those five stages of the grieving process are:

1-Denial-“this can’t be happening to me”, looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is a death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still living there. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-“why me?”, feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

These stages are necessary; they do happen.  We don’t always go through them at the same time, or in the same order.  There is no right way to grieve; no wrong way.

How Aromatherapy Can Help the Healing Process: 

Aromatherapy is a very true, scientifically proven method of alternative medicine that works through the persons’ olfactory senses and stimulates the pineal and pituitary glands and works through changing body chemistry via the brain to bring about a desired effect.

Only true plant extracts (100% essential oils) can be medicinal. Synthetic fragrances may alter a mood (via a good memory, nice fragrance, etc.), but they are not TRUE fragrances that have medicinal qualities such as the steam distillation from plants.
Note About The Spell:

It is a good idea before doing this spell, that you get a good quality 100% pure essential oil that YOU enjoy the scent of.  More than it’s properties, or anything else, your enjoyment of this scent needs to be primary.  It is best if it is a blend of true essential oils or a single essential oil that you like.  Any will do.  Before we get to the spell, here are some ways to enjoy the oil you chose (make sure if it is 100% essential oils only, that you blend with a carrier oil (olive, vegetable oil is fine) – a couple of drops of the essential oil to a tablespoon of the carrier oil.

This oil may be used as a full body massage as often as desired. Use 10 drops in the bath water AFTER the water has been run (otherwise the oils may evaporate and lose their effect.) Put a few drops on a cotton ball; place the cotton in a ziploc baggie and put in your purse or pocket and take with you throughout the day. Breathe a few deep inhalations from the cotton ball as often as desired throughout the day at the first signs of these symptoms:

*as soon as you notice fatigue
*desire to get away from people
*feeling of being overwhelmed
*feelings of depression or loneliness
*feelings of anger
*feelings of sadness
*loss of appetite
*can’t sleep

When you use/inhale/massage your oil at the start of these symptoms, you are showing your subsconscious mind that you care and are caring for yourself, no matter what feelings may exist.  All feelings, negative or positive are understandable and okay when you’re grieving.  Taking care of yourself is very important.

MAGICKAL / PRAYER/ RITUAL USE:

May use at any moon phase.  If the moon is waning, focus on your letting go (even if it’s a teensy bit) of the loved one that has passed.  If you’re not ready for that step, wait till the New Moon (dark moon) and the waning phase to the full moon to use the ritual in bringing peace, well-being, clarity of mind, joy, settling of spirit to you.  Use a bright and cheery color (yellow, orange, pink, red, white) candle during your spell.  (for letting go spells as mentioned earlier, use a darker candle or black—white always works if you don’t have any other color.)

  • Anoint Yourself with your chosen oil
  • Set up candle of your choice in front of you on your altar or wherever you are sitting (anoint candle first with oil)
  • Choose an incense that is pleasing to you.  One that possibly brings back good memories if possible.

Make this as simple as necessary.  If you’re grieving, you may be angry at God(s) and not care about candle colors, spells, etc.  Do this when/if you are ready.  Loss is horrid.  Of any kind.

Just focus and say from the heart; change words as necessary and use this daily as you need.  Allow yourself what time you need/boundaries/etc. to heal.  Cry, don’t cry, it’s all okay.

Grief so painful,

Spinning inside,

Punching my gut,

Till all I can do is cry.

My God and Goddess hear this scream that

doesn’t even sound like me; so it must be a dream;

A nightmare more like it; that has no end,

Come to my side, my aid, and help me mend.

Over to you I give all I have

For I no longer seem to care –

Lead my on the right path.

‘an harm it none; this cry is done.

Morika Bernhard, July 21, 2013 – in honor of my son, William Reese who died on February 16, 2013.  I love you Will—I miss you so.  Still Grieving So.

 

 

 

Under The New Moon, http://www.underthenewmoon.com  / Morika Bernhard, Owner