pornography

Goddess in the Flesh

August, 2018

It is almost impossible to meet every beauty standard. It is almost impossible for the beauty, diet and medical industries to “approve” of your body, skin, hair and eyes. In a world that deliberately shifts the “should’s” and shames that attacks and blames, loving yourself is an act of rebellion.

What is reviled in one country is celebrated in another. From skinny shaming to fat-hating what stays the same is the entitlement of male-gaze, the disgust and ownership of the female form. The idea that women are objects for public consumption is at the root of both modesty and pornography.

My mum was a fat hater and a fat-shamer. So was my dad. This meant that while I was “not pretty” I had the good grace to be thin and clever. I prized this things because both came easily to me. I can’t tell if I was an exercise addict, someone who coped with anxiety through exercise, or just very active. I would roll at of bed at dawn and do 30 sit-ups, until about the age of 17. Exercise makes me feel good, helps me focus and is something I really enjoy, though I can’t do much, if any, these days. I didn’t diet, far from it I ate a huge amount, but as a dancer I knew plenty of girls who ate tissue to not be hungry. Girls who didn’t eat for half of the school week to be “thin enough” to go out on a Friday. Fat was a mystery to me. A softness I was scared of. Still find frightening on occasion.

Fat was “weakness” and was far too vulnerable to the rough grabbing hands. No I wanted to be hard, strong and never weak. Of course I hated myself plenty. My wonky nose, crocked teeth, my ginger curly hair. Once I stopped dancing I grew breasts quickly. They came as something of a shock to me. I went from a B to a D cup in a very short time and they had their perks I was sort of mystified by this fleshier body.

As I got older, and then had children my weight was the first thing my mum would comment about.

You look fat, and not the jolly kind.”

Oh you lost weight, your face looks better.”

You are thin enough now, much skinnier you’ll look ill.”

Of course my mum was a much better feminist than I was because I had “given myself over to the yoke of motherhood” instead of doing something “more important”. My feminism was “too soft” and far too feminine and far too fat for her.

I have been all different sizes, shapes and tones and while I was more desired by men when I was thinner and more toned I have rarely been happy with myself. Rarely felt self-love or safety in my skin. I fear the toxic seep of this self-loathing for my daughter. I wonder what seeds I have sown accidentally. I have been working on loving myself for years and sometimes I feel I get there.

So how do we create real change? How do we dismantle huge industries that promote self-loathing as self-care? How do we dare to be soft when it hurts so much? How do we find our strength in body, spirit and mind? I think we must make Goddess figurines. Thousands of them, millions. Ones that are like us, as we are, not as we wish to be. Some with huge voluptuous breasts or none to speak of. Some with long legs, or no legs. With curly coils, or no hair. With lines and scars. With powerful thighs and big arses. So that we know our flesh is powerful and beautiful and important. That we are worthy, fat, scarred, skinny and all. For in reclaiming our image as beautiful, as sacred art maybe we will love ourselves just a little bit more.

A Woman’s Place…

October, 2017

In present day, there are now many different paths to feminism and there are those who believe that certain things, such as women working in the sex trade, pornography, etc. are being empowered by such work.

I would put myself out there to say that I disagree, and that I know many other women who identify as feminists who are right there with me, to say nothing of the many women who have worked as prostitutes and in pornographic movies who have gone on to write about their experiences and how it was so NOT empowering, but humiliating, demeaning and degrading to them, not only as women, but as human beings.

Recently, while scrolling through my news feed on Facebook, I came across this photo:

With its’ bright colors, it immediately brought to mind that this was geared for younger girls. I posted it on the feminist page that I own/admin on Facebook. While most of the comments seemed to echo my own personal opinion, there were a couple that mentioned “taking back the word”, that it was “empowering” to wear something like this, or that the site selling these specifically mention being for “mature” adults.

Now, etymologically speaking, the origin of whore is not what is has come to mean. The following come from the site “word-ancestry.livejournal.com

“Today’s word can be traced all the way back to the prehistoric Indo-European root ka- ‘like, desire.‘ Interestingly, this word seems to have split into several different meanings. For the first, the word evolved into a younger Indo-European root karo which in turn led to Latin carus ‘dear‘ and Old Irish cara ‘friend.’ From this we get English caress, charity, and cherish, all of which have (or can be have) very wholesome and endearing definitions. The second path created another later Indo-European root, kamo, which eventually became Sanskrit kamah ‘love’ that we are all familiar with from the Kamasutra. Finally, at least for this discussion, the third route is the one in which today’s word developed. From prehistoric Indo-European ka came proto-Germanic khoraz/horaz, the feminine form of which was khoron/horon. Eventually this became Middle Dutch hoere, Old High German huora, Old Norse hora, Gothic hors, and Old English hore. As a side note, except for the Old English word which meant ‘whore, prostitute, harlot,’ the other cognates had the definition of an adulteress. Old English hore was in use prior to 1100 C.E. and continued on into Middle English. It was not until 1535 that there is record of the spelling changing to whore, and as of yet there is not much evidence as to why the change occurred.”

As can be seen, the root of the word originally meant “desire”, “dear” or “friend”, and the other root would mean an adultress, which is not necessarily what is meant by “whore” in today’s vernacular. Much like the word “virgin”, which originally meant a “free woman”, and not a woman sexually untouched, the word “whore” has come to mean something quite different. The original meanings of both words can no longer be reclaimed from patriarchy, so entrenched have their current meanings become in our society and culture, making the “taking back the word” argument, a moot point.

In looking through the site that sells these chokers, which I will not name, I have found them also to be made with the words “baby”, “baby girl”, “slut”, “daddy’s girl”, “yes, daddy”, as well a some with small pacifiers, dildos and vaginas, along with various Playboy bunnies, etc. The majority of them are made in bright pastel colors designed to attract younger girls.

Young women and girls need to be taught their worth, their value. Items such as this devalue and demean them, keep them tied to patriarchy’s idea of the only thing a woman can be……whore, slut. Words such as this are meant to bring women down, not raise them up.

It is up to older women to teach the younger what their value is, not only to the world, but to themselves. They have power, they have divinity through the Goddess, they are their own Sovereign beings, and this is what should come through in how they carry and project themselves to the world, not proclaiming themselves to be “whores” in the current sense of the word. As women reclaim their own sexuality, they should not lose their self-worth or their self-respect.

*Disclaimer: The opinions in this article are of the author only and do not represent the views or opinions of PaganPagesOrg as a whole.

 

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About the Author:

Susan Morgaine is a Daughter of the Goddess, Witch, WriterTeacher, Healer, and Yogini. She is a monthly columnist with PaganPages.org Her writings can be found in The Girl God Anthologies, Whatever Works: Feminists of Faith Speak” and Jesus, Mohammed and the Goddess, as well as Mago Publications She Rises, Volume 2, and “Celebrating Seasons of the Goddess”. She has also been published in Jareeda and SageWoman magazines. She is a Certified Womens Empowerment Coach/Facilitator through She is the author of “My Name is Isis, the Egyptian Goddess”, one in the series of the “My Name Is………” children’s books published by The Girl God Publications. A Woman International, founded by Patricia Lynn Reilly. She has long been involved in Goddess Spirituality and Feminism, teaching classes and workshops, including Priestessing Red Tents within MA and RI. She is entering her 20th year teaching Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, being a Certified instructor through the Kundalini Research Institute, as well as being a Reiki Master. She is a member of the Sisterhood of Avalon. She can be found at https://mysticalshores.wordpress.com/ and her email is MysticalShores@gmail.com

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