Porphyry April, 2012

Sexytimes In Public

Oh my stars.  Catholics are asking to be treated differently due to their religious beliefs when it comes to providing health care for women who work for them.  The Republicans, sensing an opportunity that was actually a mistake, have done their best to pile onto this issue, in some very inelegant ways [1].  There are a lot of political arguments here, ones that have been stated much more clearly and interestingly elsewhere [2].   Personally I do believe that there should be an exemption for institutions whose primary function is religious on matters of principle where it is reasonable and practical.  This is a fundamental principle of religious freedom, consistent with the Native American’s use of peyote in their religious rituals.  But if you are operating a Burger King, or a hospital, then it’s only logical that the same laws that apply to the guy at the gas station should apply to your secular business [3].   After all, Native Americans can use peyote in their religious rituals, but they can’t just go selling it at the neighborhood convenience mart [4].  Religious freedom requires that the activity actually relate to religion.

But that is a political discussion, one we’ve had a lot of already, and one where my opinion is just an opinion.  What I want to do is try and figure out what a Pagan theological perspective would bring to the kerfuffle. The underlying problem here is that the Catholic Church, along with Rick Santorum, does not endorse contraception except in certain exceptional cases.  Santorum tipped the real reason for the opposition to contraception: it leads to naughtiness [5].  That is not a church/state issue: it’s an issue of theology that we can talk about.  In fact I believe it’s related to something that we as Pagans know all to well: the original split between Paganism and the book religions.  It goes to one of the core beliefs that separate us.  We like the world.  They don’t.  They look forward to what lies beyond while we enjoy what is here.

Now before anyone starts fussing about how Christians are very much engaged in the world, in stewardship, in charity, in good works and whatnot, I will say that social justice is just one way to engage with the world.  What I’m talking about is how we engage personally and spiritually with the world.  Whether we see ourselves as part of it, or in some way opposed to it.  For the book religions suffering and pain are one of the main things they focus on. And suffering comes from the world.

Christian religious documents are almost always talking about relief of suffering, forgiveness from sin because that leads to suffering, the poor of spirit, the downtrodden, the forlorn.  Their message is that “we got your back” and “it will get better.”  The whole point of Christianity is Easter: the overcoming of the suffering on the cross as a sacrificial atonement for sin.  And sin, ultimately, is bad behavior that results in someone having a less than pleasant experience in their lives [6].

Pagans do not tend to dwell on suffering.  Instead we have a great interest in engaging with and affecting this world.  In the distant past this detachment from others’ suffering could be attributed to a general lack of empathy and an inability to place yourself in others’ shoes [7].   However we can bring this view up to date by simply acknowledging that our moral imperative comes from a strong sense of engagement with the world.  Through ritual, through magic, and through actively lived lives we seek to bring love and laughter and joy into the world because that is what we believe it deserves from us.  Because our Gods and Goddesses are part of this world, we seek to experience and value the world as it is, not as merely a way station on a journey of transcendence.  Denial not tied to a practical or spiritual reason is ridiculous.  Dominating the world is terribly immoral because she is our mother, we should respect and value her, not kill her.  And enjoying the hell out of ourselves can and should be included as part of what we hold sacred.

In case you have not noticed, this is not necessarily the view of the book religions.  Atonement, penance, and discipline are all designed to maintain a distance between the world and the followers.   The promise of future rewards focuses them on present-day denial and asceticism.  Social discipline is enforced through abstract strictures such as self-denial, guilt, and ostracism.  These negative punishments are seen as essential to keep deeply flawed people (sinners) in line.

Pagans’ on the other hand start from the opposite end of the line.  We are more concerned about how we can make a positive effect in the world than in beating ourselves up for things that we have done wrong.  For us an experience of the divine is not achieved through denial and discipline, particularly social discipline.  Instead it is achieve through strongly held ties, relationships with divinity, and concepts of honor and courage.   Punishment, and guilt is a form of punishment, are secondary approaches in a Pagan approach to social discipline simply because they are prescriptive and reactive.   Who would you rather have around, someone who wants to be with you, or someone who is made to be there?   How would you want to relate to others, through a sense of duty, or a sense of joy?  We choose joy.

Now Christian theology will say that the true change occurs within the believer’s heart.  Believers will want to behave in ways consistent with Christ’s teachings because they have been changed through the love (and/or blood) of Christ.  There really is no coercion involved, that those following a “true” faith path will do things that are right simply because they are consistent with what they feel inside.  Just because what they feel happens to be written down in the Bible is simply a reflection of those who have preceded them finding the right way and writing it down.

Other than the writing it down part, this is quite consistent with Paganism, in that our inner feelings guide us instead of some formal doctrine or prescription.   We don’t even get to participate in our religion unless the hands of the Goddess guide us toward each other.  It is a rare Pagan tradition that seeks out converts or proselytizes.  In many traditions there can be a bit of effort involved in finding a coven that will admit you, and fits with your path.  We find our way into the Pagan religion through the hands of the Gods and Goddesses, from their voice within us and within those we encounter.   Those who come into our religion, come to it through an inner voice.

But there is a place where we diverge from even this ideal representation of how Christians’ come up with their belief.  We don’t try to tell other people what to do.  This bears repeating:  Pagan’s don’t claim religious exclusivity, so we are more than willing to put up with other people’s bad behavior as long as it does not cause anyone a problem (“harm none”).  My inner voice and relationship with the Gods and Goddesses may not be your voice or path.  Each has their own path, each is valid, and each deserves our respect (including the Christian path).  Christians claim universality: that their belief is true and others are not.  This causes endless trouble.

Combine the tendency to focus on denial, suffering, and asceticism with the tendency to try and tell other people how to behave and you get a recipe for trouble.   In the case of the insurance kerfuffle there are two ways to parse the Church’s objection to Obama’s plan.  On the one hand it could be they object because the church is offended at having to pay for contraception, which it does not believe in.  This is a logically straightforward proposition:  that you should not have to pay for something that offends your religious sensibility.  However there are a lot of things I suspect other, more liberal, traditions would prefer not to pay for so the argument tends to not be generally applicable [8].  Likewise, the argument does not generalize well because the church is certainly paying the people who work for it, who, in turn, use the same church money to buy all kinds of things that the church might not approve of. (Perhaps there are even closet Witches within the church’s more secular institutions buying athames, wands, and incense.  Perhaps some of them are friends of mine…)

Another version of the argument would be that the Church does not want to encourage the sort of behavior that contraception encourages.  As Santorum says, contraceptives will be used to commit sin, and we should be discouraging this.  This argument is a more general argument compared to the “don’t use my money” argument.  That’s because the money is just one means to achieve the broader objective of controlling behavior. It is the objectionable behavior that is not wanted, and anything that the church can do to discourage the behavior is a good thing.

This more robust argument places the theology of sex and contraception squarely in the middle of the controversy.   This is in direct opposition to Paganism, where sex is a great, sacred, and natural thing.

So what does all this mean for us?  It means that with Beltane coming up we should appreciate both the religious liberty and freedom that we have, and our ability to find joy in all the acts of the Goddess.  The argument that the insurance requirement violates religious freedom only goes so far, as far as their desire to discourage sex outside of their version of marriage.  Because they wish to discourage things that permit others, including Pagan’s, to engage in actions they don’t approve of they are actually diminishing our freedoms as they seek to expand theirs.  In a democratic society there are compromises to be made, and Obama made them.

But we can do more, and we should do more because the debate between our position and theirs is far more fundamental and important than simply who pays for insurance.  We love life, we see joy in the world, and we believe the world is the place where we experience the divine.  We need to do everything we can to advance that positive, life affirming, and engaging view of how religion should be.  We should welcome those who seek to move on from the world-denying view of the Catholic Church and welcome them into a joyous and worldly Pagan religion.  We don’t have to proselytize, we just have to keep raising our Pagan babies and welcoming others into the circle.

So lets enjoy Beltane and the bringing in of the May.  Lets welcome everyone to dance around our maypoles.  While keeping a careful eye out for those who might want to chop them down.

[1] lets see there’s Rush:  http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2012/03/morning-viewing-stewart-on-rush-117425.html and the Virginia legislature:  http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012-03-07/virginia-abortion-ultrasound-bill/53401720/1 and now Santorum is trying to give Obama the male vote:  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57399226-503544/santorum-says-obama-not-enforcing-internet-porn-laws/.

[2] For example:  http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/293153/religious-freedom-social-justice-george-weigel and http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-end-of-the-catholic-church-as-we-know-it/2012/03/09/gIQAB1jx5R_story.html.

[3]  I’m ignoring the crazy-ass Blunt Amendment.  It makes no sense to say that health care should be some sort of Darwinian free-for-all.  It makes even less sense that those who tend to want that sort of thing hail from the followers of the Christ.

[4] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Native_American_Church

[5] Here’s the quote:  “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country…. Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be”  http://theweek.com/article/index/223041/9-controversial-rick-santorum-quotes

[6]  You can view sin as the violation of some rule or law, or you can take it as an activity that produces a less fulfilling spiritual and physical life.  Fooling around a lot can result in many different kinds of hurt for those involved.  Not caring for others and only focusing on yourself means that you never grow the humility and broader perspective that comes from such sacrifice.  That leaves you less of a person, stunted, if you will.  Ultimately, in Christian thinking, it separates you from god.  From a simple Pagan perspective it is a behavior that not only harms you, but also harms others and thus should be avoided.

[7]  Empathy wasn’t always a big feature of Pagan religions, see, for example, Rome.  But Christianity didn’t quite increase empathy very quickly, as is illustrated by the Inquisition and the burning times.   In general there was a distinct lack of empathy up until the enlightenment, so, given that Christianity had been around for quite a while before then, even the influence of Christian teachings on empathy is somewhat suspect.

[8]  By “generally applicable” I mean both that is a flawed argument, and that it does not apply symmetrically to other situations and other organizations.  In other words you are arguing for a special condition for the church, and for this particular situation.  Making an argument that applies mainly to yourself makes everyone suspicious that the argument is self-serving.  Catholic theology would place all these argument into the category of “remote material cooperation with evil” or doing something that is not in itself a sin but promotes sin.   If this is the argument that they make, and many in the church do, then it may be bad Catholic theology as this may not clearly fit into this category.  See, for example, http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2012-02-14/catholic-bishop-morals-birth-control-contraception/53095538/1

Tags: catholic, sex

• Articles

Mama Donna Henes February, 2011

Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary? Completely clueless? Wonder no more.

*Ask Your Mama™

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Spirituality and Didn’t Know Who to Ask™

by

©Mama Donna Henes, Urban Shaman

A Question of Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Sex

Dear Mama Donna,

I am a woman in my middle years and the excitement and sizzle of sex seems to have been turned off at the spigot. I am always comparing myself with the hot younger me who I seem to have lost. Is this the end of passion for me? Help! I want it back!

Frustrated in Phoenix

Dear Frustrated,

Oh, honey, this is absolutely not the end of your sex life. Don’t despair. And whatever you do, don’t stop. Regular sex, according to medical research, has the same benefits as regular exercise. It increases the flow of certain chemicals that naturally boost and strengthen the immune system, improves cholesterol levels, stimulates circulation, invigorates the heart, diminishes the intensity of pain especially in migraines and chronic arthritis, reduces PMS symptoms, and releases endorphins which simply make you feel good.

Here are some suggestions for getting the sizzle back:

Mental Sex

Mind your memories, good and bad. Do not dwell in the past. Do not look back in time in order to yearn for more youthful days or compare yourself today with who you used to be. And do not let past pain, rejection, repression, or abuse deprive you of your present pleasures. Deal with what you want to change so that you can Be Here Now.

Mind your manners. Be nice. Be kind. Be patient. Be encouraging, but be sure to ask for what you want. Be willing to communicate with an open ear as well as with an open mouth. Be clear and specific. Be gentle, but firm. Speak your truth and expect to be heard. Share your desires and fantasies and play them out. Show and tell.

Mind your P’s and Q’s. P stands for permission. Allow yourself to follow your instincts and your desires and give yourself the unconditional permission to do what comes naturally, whatever that might mean to you. Q is for the Queen in you who knows what She knows She likes. And She likes to get it.

Emotional Sex

Explore the full range of your sexual emotions. What feelings does sex engender in you? What needs do you want it to fill? Does it? Is sex an outlet for the release of stress, of anger, frustration, or boredom? Is it an avenue to tenderness, affection, closeness, intimacy, honesty, safety, openness, trust, and love?

Express your true emotional Self in all its myriad moods. Allow your funny, silly, lazy, sad, colorful, soulful, sinful parts out to play. Be adventurous. Be bold. Be brazen. Be wild. Be inventive. Be silent. Be solo. Be celibate. Be whatever you damn well please.

Exorcise your demons. Relax your resistance. Release your inhibitions. Let go of your mind altogether. Forget your emotions and all of your mental ramblings for a while, and just let yourself be. There are times when it is important to reflect upon and connect with your thoughts and feelings, and there are times when it’s just as beneficial to disengage. Sex would be one.

Physical Sex

Make friends with your body. The more accepting you are of your physical being — your best features as well as your flaws — the more comfortable you will be sharing it. Develop your sense of touch. Cover the surface of your body with paint, with clay, with cream, with silk. Caress the textures. Feel the tactile sensations on your skin. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure, or a facial. Pat, stroke, rub, knead your skin and hair. Offer to massage someone. Ask someone to do it for you.

Treat your body well. Feed it wisely, air it often, water and exercise it with intention and care. Pay attention to its proper maintenance and upkeep. Keep it oiled and greased and limber, and don’t let it get rusty. Nurture its need to be nurtured. Tend to its requirements and pamper all of its parts. Prepare your body for sex. Soak in a warm tub full of fragrant water to melt into the mood. Rub luscious lotion all over yourself, caressing each mound and crevice and curve with love and anticipation.

Spiritual Sex

Create a sexual sanctuary, a safe and sacred space, a Temple of Love in which to indulge in your pleasures. Remove all distracting items that relate to the other parts of your life: notebooks, briefcases, pagers, bills, calendars. Turn the phones off, including the cell at the bottom of your purse. Cover the clocks. Close the bathroom door. Smudge your space with the smoke of myrrh or copal to cleanse the atmosphere and with the smoke of sweetgrass to invite in the sweet spirits.

Create a mood conducive to enchantment, enticement, and enjoyment. This is the royal boudoir, after all. A Garden of 1001 Delights. Decorate it in such a way as to appeal to all of the senses. Sheets and covers in soft fabrics, chenille, flannel, satin, to lie upon. Candles, soft lights, colored walls, flowers, and objets of art to please the gaze. Evocative perfumes, oils, and incense to smell. Lovely treats to taste.

Create a ritual before you make love. Think of sex as a way to connect, alone or in company, with the vibrating Kundalini energy that courses through you and the entire universe. Sanctify and ignite your intention by lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or by singing, chanting, drumming, dancing, anointing. Reach out to engage your Self, another, and All That Is, in an ecstatic embrace of spirit, passion, and love.

A new take-charge attitude can be just the catalyst needed to refuel the lethargic passion of our long-term marriage or partnership, or it could send us out in other, sometimes completely unexpected, directions. We could decide to take a lover, or a different lover, or an additional lover. If we have long been single, we might decide to begin dating and establishing relationships. We might, as is becoming more and more common, liberate our previously hidden, unfulfilled yearnings and “come out” as a lesbian in midlife. Or, if we have always been sexually active, involved and/or coupled, we could choose a period of celibacy, Self-exploration, Self-indulgence, and Self-love. The world is your oyster. Pick and choose according to your own persuasion and then partake!

Enjoy!

xxMama Donna

*Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary? Completely clueless? Wonder no more. *Send your questions about seasons, cycles, celebrations, ceremonies and spirit to Mama Donna at: CityShaman@aol.com

*************************************************************

Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, ritual expert, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed Ezine and writes for The Huffington Post and UPI Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.

www.DonnaHenes.net

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Tags: sex, sexuality

• Advice

Olen Rush February, 2010

Improving Humankind through Sexual Energy

**ADULT CONTENT

We have covered a fair variety of the different aspects of Sexual Magick; however, one of the most important reasons to perform Sexual Magick is for the betterment of Humanity.

Most folks that are interested in Magick or the Occult are aware that ancient fertility rites were performed for agricultural and religious purposes.

However, there has been, for long ages, a subtle line of thought that these same types of fertility rites can be used to induce the incarnation of a higher soul into the body of a human infant, heal people, or improve the land. In fact the Sanctity that many standard religions attach to marriage is based on similar concepts.

The basic idea is that a Child that is conceived in Love, and with the correct Intent will draw down a Higher Soul into the Vessel provided by the Ritualized Sexual Act. And that the combined sexual fluids of the participants provide a subtle medium that attracts the Creative energies of the Universe into itself.

The general gist is that if more people were purposely conducting such rites, the increase in Spiritually Advanced Incarnations in the general Populace would stimulate further evolutionary advances within Society… thus, propelling Humankind to new heights

Another way that these Sexual energies can be used for the betterment of humanity is through the same schema used to increase crop fertility in times of old. One simply focuses the energy to the Earth, or directed towards healing a person, etc.

The sexual energies or “Eros” require that one be able to conjure up the “Ojas” or “Lust” energies and then direct them.

One may devise a Mantra as discussed previously… and allow this Mantra (that you have practiced for months and months) to play itself automatically over and over, until it seems to be running in the background. This allows one to perform more naturally in the bedroom than more formal rites.

The “Intent” of the Mantra (whether for a “Magickal Child” or Healing, or whatever) should be evident in its spoken meaning… thus it is a Ritual that does not require focus. This allows more spontaneity between the couple.

The couple should slowly allow certain Psychic and erogenous centers to touch each other. The Chakras, Erogenous Zones, Taoist Centers, or Kabbalistic Sephiroth all provide an excellent Anatomical framework for such foreplay. This will gradually increase both the activity of the relevant Pscho-Sexual Centers, and synergistically increases the level of Ojas or “Magickal Lust” as well.

One may incorporate Ritual objects such as Feathers, or even Whips and Chains, or Vibrators… whatever floats your boat.

As the act is performed the Mantra should be allowed to play on, and at the moment of release, a sharp visual focus should be added. This is particularly powerful if both parties incorporate the Mantra and Visualization… especially so, if simultaneous orgasm is achieved.

Although fairly simple, this technique has a broad range of application.

If one really contemplates the potential power at their disposal through the Creative Energies of the Universe the potential is enormous.

Tags: energy, sex

• Articles

Olen Rush January, 2010

Tags: magic, magick, mayjun, sex

• Articles

Olen Rush December, 2009

** Adult Content **

Tags: divine feminine, sex, sexual

• Articles

Olen Rush November, 2009

***ADULT CONTENT***

Bodily Fluids and Sexual Magick

Well, we have discussed Taboo and Chastity as techniques in one’s Sexual Magick arsenal. Today, we are going to discuss techniques involving Bodily Fluids.

This is also one of the most dangerous arenas for Sexual Magick. WARNING: The most dangerous Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are contracted via Body Fluids. Before engaging in this type of activity, one should be assured that there is no chance of contracting an STD (Laboratory Testing, Monogamy, etc.).

The Reproductive Cycle of Humankind can (and should) be viewed as a Microcosm of the Creative Act of the Universe. An initial dichotomy manifests as two opposites, which through union creates something totally distinct from either source. This union temporarily “destroys” the individuality of both in the “fusing together” of the opposites. This gives a rather unique meaning to the term, the “Big Bang Theory”.

Now, when Humans mate there are fluids that are secreted prior to the consummation of the Sexual Act. These fluids provide lubrication and a very nice pool for our little tadpoles to swim in. Both genders contribute, and in the intermixing of these Body Fluids a medium is Formed, which can lead to a penetration of the ovum by the sperm. In other words, the union of male and female is capable of creating “Life”. How much more Magickal can it get? Well, if this process involving sexual fluids can create life… which is in a sense… a display of ultimate power… then these fluids must truly have unique Magickal properties.

Paschal Beverly Randolph was a Rosicrucian, Sex Magician, Spiritualist, and advocate of equal rights in the 19th Century. He developed an organization called the “Brotherhood of Eulis” where Initiates received formal training in various techniques of Sexual Magick. It was not of a restrictive nature. No chastity in this group! In fact the teaching of the Brotherhood was firmly based in the necessity to bring the female to orgasm (a very untypical view for the 19th Century, and sadly enough in the 21st). The body positions and postures were based on certain Western Esoteric teachings. The most difficult part is the “Concentration” required during the fulfillment of the Sexual Act.

During the mutual Orgasm, both parties were to hold the object of their desire firmly in their mind. The intense Creative energies released during simultaneous Orgasm can effectively dissolve the barriers between Worlds and “Create” a Thoughtform of much potency. This energized Thoughtform is the “Magickal Child” of this Union. This Child is the product of the Sacrifice and Death of the “Old King” (the now flaccid Penis) in his “giving” to the Queen. However, this Potency and Power of the Creative Energies of both parties have now been used to “Animate” (give “Life” to) the Thoughtform created during the Sexual Act. This was also a Theory advocated for the betterment of Society, since Children conceived within such a program were deemed to be most worthy and blessed vessels for Great Souls to manifest themselves in.

The difficult part is maintaining this level of concentration during Orgasm… which is where utilizing a Chant or Mantra comes in very handy. If one trains themselves at chanting or the use of mantras, one can reach a point where the Chant takes on a life of its own. The Chant becomes background music to everything else, and seems to mysteriously play constantly through one’s mind. The Chant no longer requires verbal recitation, it plays on and on, like a line from a TV commercial that is stuck in your head (an insidious use of Black Magick by marketing firms). When this level of Chanting is achieved, one only has to initiate the Chant, and it will be playing in the background, without having to over concentrate and wreck the sensual mood by making everything too mechanical.

Now, this focused energy has created a new form within the combined body fluids (post Orgasm) that are now resting within the Grail. This is now a “Consecrated” substance. It can be used Eucharistically, it can be used to Anoint, or Consecrate tools, papers, spells, talismans, amulets, sacred grounds… the list goes on.

Suffice it to say, this is a very Powerful Substance and it is called by some: the “Elixir of Life”. The further uses of this substance will not be discussed today but will be left to the Creative Genius of the Sexual Magicians experimenting with these techniques.

I finish with a quote from Paschal Beverly Randolph’s Eulis:

“CONCLUSION: THE LYMPHICATION OF LOVE. — I have already herein called attention to the various secretions — normal — of the human pelvic viscera, and named them lochia, exuviæ, semen, Duverneyan lymph, prostatic and Cowperian fluids. I now call attention to another, different from all and far more important than either, and which is the only one common to both sexes alike. I refer to that colorless, viscid, glairy lymph, or exudation which is only present under the most fierce and intense amative passion in either man or woman. This lymph has been noticed by M.D.’s, and regarded as a. vaginal or prostatic secretion, but it is neither. They sought for its point of issuance, but found it not, because, prior to its escape, per vagina and male urethra, it is not a liquid at all; but, the liquid is the resultant of the union of three imponderables, just as common water is the result of the union of two gases and an electric current. Just so is this lymph the union of magnetism, electricity, and nerve-aura, — each rushing from the vital ganglia and fusing in the localities named. When it is present in wedlock’s sacred rite then Power reigns and Love strikes deep root in the soul of the child that then may be begotten. If it is absent, the world is sure to receive a selfish, mean, small, contemptible thing in human shape, — a terror, or stalking crime and pestilence, — a partial man or woman, of little use to him or herself, and none at all to others, the world, or God.”

Blessed Be!

Tags: bodily fluids, magick, sex, sexual

• Articles

Olen Rush October, 2009

Tags: chastity, sex, sexual

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Olen Rush September, 2009

Tags: magic, magick, sex, sexual, taboo

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Administrator April, 2006

One doesn’t have to be a witch to practice sexual magick. All that it requires is a setting, or mood; intent (prayer) and energy-raising (the act itself). Anyone can do it.

It happened to a friend of mine. From the 1990s onward, he and his wife became estranged from one another due to a major rift that has become irreparable. During the 90s, he left home but returned soon afterward to try to resolve the marriage. During that time, he told me, he and his wife were intimate only a handful of times. One of those times, he prayed for a child.

When the wife stopped having periods, she assumed it was menopause. Only when she felt movement within did she take a pregnancy test. My friend was so shocked that he could not believe the child was his (they had problems conceiving their second child). But when the child was born the resemblance to his father was unmistakable. My friend calls his youngest son “a miracle from God”.

Sexual magick? I think it was – it met the criteria listed above.

Before I became a Witch and involved with the temple practicing sexual magick, I had a pretty active sex life in my twenties. I found that when I was having sex, I had a connection to my partner’s mind. I had a sense of what the partner was thinking. Usually it would be jumbled, confused thoughts, but it was heaven to me. If I didn’t see this person again (and many times I didn’t), I would always have a part of them inside me through this connection.

I didn’t think that sex could be healing back then. I often felt shame for what I did. I had many one-time encounters at a time when AIDS was prevalent not only among gay men, but also among heterosexuals. I often did not practice “safe sex”, secretly reveling in their orgasms, partaking of their semen. I was fortunate. I did not have an STD. But the guilt from these encounters haunted me for a long time, and a part of the guilt remains today.

It wasn’t until I became involved in my temple that I learned of the healing properties of semen. It would mostly be emotional. I got an euphoric feeling when a man came inside me. It meant to me that I knew I did good – that I pleasured him. My male friend at the top of this article once told me that a man’s absolute expression is in his cum. I don’t doubt him.

Through my temple I participated in a few rituals involving sexual magick. Only one of these rituals was structured with a good part of it involving ceremonial magick. The other rituals involved a grounding and centering and candlelight, but otherwise unstructured. My temple always did a Beltane celebration involving a “bacchanalia” where members, invited guests and friends were free to indulge in sexual pleasure, or just watch. The first Beltane I participated in included a handfasting between a temple member and his beloved, who was initiated into the temple by the Great Rite. I, too, participated and had a good time, although I had to work out some mixed feelings a few days later with my High Priest. As in BDSM, aftercare is involved in ritual, particularly if it’s the first one a member participated. I was told that so much energy was generated through the ritual that a Full Moon Ritual was not needed.

The Full Moon Ritual in which I participated took place almost a year ago, and I was an “energy donor”. As such, I participated in the ceremony. Sacred space was created, and Lucifer and Lilith were invoked. I and two other women who were also energy donors were purified by smoke, salt and water, and a flogging. After the Fivefold Kiss, we divided into small groups and the High Priestess and Maiden performed oral sex on us to harvest our orgasms, which would be used to power the working. The working was to bring together one couple who was going through some difficulties following an illness, and to separate another couple who had ended a long engagement. The participants in the ritual were also invited to write our romantic intentions or separation petitions on slips of paper to be included in the working as well.

Being an energy donor for me wasn’t easy. I had no trouble working with the High Priestess who went down on me, but I had trouble concentrating on working on an orgasm. But after some time, I was ready and after a few minutes generated an orgasm that was such a whopper I could be heard throughout the house.

The outcome of the ritual was largely a mixed bag. The couple who was going through difficulties was successful at reconciliation. The couple going through separation, I heard, was trying to reconcile as well. My petition worked, though not the way I had envisioned. Goddess works in mysterious ways, but Her wisdom prevails.

I also worked sexual magick online with interesting results. Here are two stories:

One of them involved a younger man I met through my online journal. At the time we began our friendship, he had begun a relationship with another woman, but had trouble getting over his past love. We began communicating through instant messenger and replies to posts, always with messages of encouragement and humor.

One night I saw a post that spoke directly to my heart. It involved a passage from a favorite movie of his and it conveyed so much loneliness that I had to do something. I had bought the Cradle of Filth “Nymphetamine” CD at the time and that was powerful in terms of sexual magick. Many of the songs, including the title track, were reminiscent of Poe and his writings of obsessive love. I got my friend’s permission to quote the passage in my journal, and included a passage from the title track that I was sure would cheer him. His response touched my heart.

He eventually formed a strong relationship with the new woman, who is close friend of mine. After some outside difficulties, their love is strong and they are planning to move in together with her children and their pets. It will be a large house indeed, filled with love.

I won’t take credit for this outcome, but I like to think the Divine guided him toward his happy ending.

And the other instance of online sexual magick involved my last love. I also met him through my online journal and we began an e-mail correspondence that eventually led to IMs. I sensed something dark within him that I wanted to heal. He had healed me with a response to a post I had written about my father who had died over twenty-five years ago, and I wanted to do the same for him.

One day we were chatting about peace, joy and love. It was so touching that I actually felt strong arms around me, though no one else was in the room. I reported that to him, and he told me that he was holding me close to him. At that moment, I felt safe, secure and loved. And I also felt desire build within.

I then described a loving, erotic encounter that built to a powerful climax that left me shaking and in tears. It provoked a powerful reaction from him that he responded in kind and then afterward thanked me for loving him. We then began a passionate relationship that had more than its fair share of strife, largely from miscommunication. I was head over heels. I think he felt the same, though there was so much going on within his world. We broke up when I found he was carrying on similar communications with other women. I don’t feel the anger toward him anymore, but I don’t think I can love anybody with that intensity again.

I find that men are drawn to me because of something missing from their lives. I encourage them along and sometimes become sexually involved with them. They find what was missing and move on, more often leaving me bewildered and hurt. These feelings are something I am working to resolve within myself. I’m now glad, at least that I know what they are. I would often go for weeks wondering if I had done something wrong to make them leave. But maybe it’s time for us to part, to move on to other things.

Sexual magick just isn’t the act of sex itself. It’s a total giving of the self to work for the good of all. Hurt feelings can’t really be avoided, but constant communication is needed between the partners so that they can be healed before leading to deep-seated resentment. And the understanding that you work with the divine when engaging in sexual magick. When that coupling is over, this will always become a part of you and the Divine. This is why I believe in working with those I share a deep sense of caring and love when it comes to sexual magick. When the Divine becomes involved, I believe we are obliged to share respect with our partners and with Them.

***

author bio:

Lisa Hibbard (Paganmaid) has been a practicing Witch for over five years, practicing eclectic Witchcraft and honoring many deities as she finds the one meant for her. Other than this quest, she is a budding writer, keeping two online blogs on LiveJournal:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/paganmaid
and
http://www.livejournal.com/users/paganmaid_2

She is also the mother of a bright and beautiful daughter and a cat, and lives in the Chicago area. Inquiries may be addressed to:

paganmaid163@yahoo.com

Tags: Lisa Hibbard, Paganmaid, sex

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