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Under 18

Blacksun September, 2009

Kids are a problem.  No, no, I’m not talking about the trials of parenthood; I’m referring to the problem of teaching minors about Paganism.  Though there aren’t any laws that specifically say to teach somebody’s child about a religion is unlawful, there exist community and cultural customs that condemn the teaching if it is done without parental permission.  In the case of Paganism, the problem is just as big as it would be if a Jewish family was to find their child being taught Islam… maybe bigger.  The problem is complex and I don’t intend to cover every facet here, but I will put forth some ideas about it in the hope that it will stir the cauldron a little and cause some discussion.The age of majority in the USA is generally considered to be eighteen for most everything.  When a person reaches that age, they can be held legally responsible for their public and private decisions.  That is, they can legally be bound by contracts, sued in a court of law, hold a driver’s license, get married, join the armed services, be able to vote, and generally be treated as an adult in most social and legal things.  If anyone of that age or older comes to us and asks for teaching or initiation, there isn’t anything that can be done by parents or relatives to legally prevent it.  But if they are under that age, there are a lot of legal avenues a parent or guardian can pursue to make it a problem for anyone who accepts the child for studentship without parental permission.

Beside the possible legal trouble, a parent who doesn’t understand our spirituality is often afraid of it and will react in a violent way when they find out we have been teaching their child about ‘witchcraft.’  It doesn’t matter what we might call our brand of spirituality, what most parents will immediately think is that ‘devil worshipers’ are indoctrinating their child!  No amount of quiet reasoning will work against their panic, and the facts have nothing to do with their perceptions.  In case you forgot: perception is reality.  The determination and ferocity of a parent who believes their child is in danger should never be underestimated.  And even if you have parental permission, you should still be aware of how your teachings might be misinterpreted by society and attract the unwanted attentions of any number of governmental groups.  This can be true even if the child you are teaching is your own!

There is a great deal of information that can be passed on to the next generation but you should be conscious of four considerations whenever you go about teaching anyone about our faith:

  1. WHAT is being taught?  There is more to a myth besides a fun story, for instance.  The traditions and lore of any faith group reflect its values and perspectives as well as customs and culture.  Information about any aspect of magic or spirituality always contains a subtext that you need to explore fully before trying try to pass it on.
  2. WHO is being taught?  Information that would be appropriate for a person who is 20 is not likely to be suitable for a youngster of 10.  A child probably won’t be interested in the complexities of western religious and political history.  Similarly, an adult isn’t likely to want to draw pictures of Isis for an hour.  And, in case you didn’t know, boys learn differently than girls.  They pick up information and use it in different ways, even if it is the same information.  It is not just a cultural prejudice; male and female brains work differently.  And, as any parent of teenagers will confirm, there sometimes isn’t any way to figure out how a pubescent child will react to anything!  Even they don’t have a clue.  There’s a good reason that the most common answer to the perennial question, “What were you thinking?” is a blank look and a mumbled, “I don’t know.” They really don’t.
  3. HOW is it being taught?  You can teach the information about incense making by the book.  But to get down and dirty with the actual making of a particular compound, to use it for an actual purpose, or to present it to others with, “I made this,” will make the learning more powerful and meaningful by far.  Learning is more than memorizing information; it’s about making a change in the learner.
  4. WHY is it being taught?  There must be a purpose and a plan to your teaching.  Simply to spout information is not the same as teaching.  Information needs to be related to real life as well as everything else that the student has or will encounter.  Any teacher worth their salt will transcend their own agendas and look to the needs and visions of their students.  If you teach because you think it will make you look important, you will only be seen that way by yourself.  Think back to the teachers in your life that have had the most impact on you and you will see the truth of this.

Our ideas and ways of looking at life are especially appealing to people in their late teens.  Our freedom of spirit and joy of living are much like their own youthful enthusiasm.  And, at least on the surface, our belief in magic seems to answer their wish for simple solutions to the complex problems they are becoming aware of all around them.  We will always have those who think of magic as a quick fix for all the ills in the world. They come with stars in their eyes, blinded to the fact that all true magic workers are hard workers.  Their naivety might be a source of amusement but it also makes them extremely vulnerable.  They so much want to believe there are easy ways to overcome large problems they will do almost anything to prove themselves ‘worthy’ of such fantastical powers.  Instead of allowing them to be victimized, we need to find ways of educating them about the real powers of magic.  Simply trying to burst their bubble of fantasy will not work.  They will reject our discouraging words and go looking for someone who will reinforce their dreams.  We must translate their visions into actions that allow them to find their own truths and powers.  Putting them to work on real projects, giving them an opportunity to figure out how to make something work and make a change is the greatest teacher of all.  Yes, they will make mistakes; who doesn’t?  But let’s be frank, isn’t that the way we learned?  Celebrate their successes and don’t ever be too busy to offer help.

Because we don’t have ‘all the answers’ written down, our beliefs are centered on individual experiences.  We call them ‘the mysteries’ because that best describes the role these have for us.  We ‘solve’ these mysteries by living the moment and discovering who and what we are in relation to the reality of our experiences.

Providing opportunities for the young to encounter their own mysteries needs to be tailored to the abilities of the student.  Most school systems use a three-tiered structure for teaching youngsters.  The youngest group usually covers from age six to eleven or twelve.  The next learning group is the so-called ‘tweens,’ ages twelve to fifteen.  Last, there is the sixteen to eighteen group.  There are sound reasons behind splitting up the learning in this way.  Each age group learns in different ways.

The brain functions of the youngest group are nothing like the oldest.  Though they absorb prodigious amounts of information at an astounding pace, the information is in its least complex form.  Very little associative thinking goes on in this age group.  For instance, a child in this group might easily learn the names for every town in their state but not be able to understand a map.  Complex relationships between one thing and another are difficult for them to understand.  That’s why stories for this age group are written in such black-and-white terms; heroes are all-good and villains are all-bad.  No explanation is necessary about why the kiss from a charming prince is required to awaken Sleeping Beauty, it simply does.  As any parent who has had a child go through this age knows, explaining why a certain rule is established doesn’t mean anything to these kids.  That’s why, “Because I said so,” really is the best explanation in many cases.  Teaching this group about Paganism requires information that is not subtle:  Pan is the god of wild things… period.  The more you explain, in some cases, the less they will understand.

The middle group, the ‘tweens,’  is in the transitional stage from one method of learning to the other.  Their comfort zone in learning is still back with the black and white, childhood model.  But their world is steadily growing and they’re becoming more independent every day.  Relationships are now more apparent and reasons are becoming necessary to explain them.  This is the age of reason for these people so what is taught to them needs to be accompanied with more in-depth information.  Motivations behind actions and beliefs begin to play an increasingly important role in their understanding and they will question boundaries and limitations more.  Because their bodies are going through an accelerated growth time, they will often physically test themselves against many of these limitations and dare the universe to slap them down.

The oldest group is making its entrance into adulthood and the methods by which they learn are pretty much the same for the rest of their life.  Associative or relational thinking has become more comfortable and its value to the student has been steadily growing for several years by now.  From here on, the student will question relative value structures, relying less on quantitative and more on qualitative information.  Though their decision-making abilities are relatively immature, they nevertheless feel the need for independence and freedom to act.  Lessons must relate to this urge or the importance of the information will not be perceived.  Now, not only does the information about Pan being a god of wild things become a part of their overall consideration, but background information that makes Pan a more interesting and complete god-form must accompany it.

Our rituals allow the primary school child to enjoy the fantasy and wonder of our beliefs.  For the middle school aged, they also teach something about the complexities of those beliefs.  For the young adults, the fullness of meaning is a feast for their minds and hearts.  It is the same demarcation as the teaching levels.

Teaching about our beliefs is quite different from exercising them on circle.  Nothing we do, with the exception of where we meet and with whom, is a secret.  When you teach others about our beliefs, our lore and practices, you should be mindful of how your words will be interpreted.  Your students or audience need to understand what is meant, not just hear the words.  For instance, “to make a spell,” will undoubtedly be interpreted as some sort of supernatural hocus-pocus by any who are not aware of the processes involved.  Far better you should forego the term and explain the process.  Then you can tell them that that process is called spell craft.  The same goes for many other words and phrases we commonly use in Paganism.  All specialized knowledge has its jargon and we aren’t any exception.  Educating others requires us to explain things without the confusion of language that can be easily misinterpreted.

Teaching others is also a way of learning.  Every teacher is a student and every student is a teacher.  The Pagan faiths have grown and will continue to grow because its people have had the courage to teach and train others.  It is one way we can help our faith group become better, both because we will refine our own knowledge and because we will gain new perspectives with each person who comes to us.  We must take this challenge seriously and never allow charlatans or abusers to rule over people whom the gods have sent our way.

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Role of a Mentor

David J Mehling May, 2009

The Accidental Teacher

After I wrote the last column, dreaming of a day when I could teach someone as I have been taught, it occurred to me that I have already done that.  I may not have conducted a class, lead a group or mentored someone, but I still have had teaching moments in which I helped another Pagan on their path or explained something about our ways to non Pagans.  On many occasions I have been an accidental teacher.

Soon after I started on this path, I noticed that some dictionaries included the word “devil” or “evil spirits” in their definition of the word witch.  I wrote to an organization called Pagan Educational Network when I found out they had embarked on a project to provide publishers of dictionaries and encyclopedias with accurate information on the meaning of the words “witch” and “Pagan”.  Even though they wrote back that the project had ended, I joined the group because they were involved in addressing misinformation.  This was the beginning of several years of me writing letters.

My pet project was the depiction of witches in the media. I would watch the TV listing and pore through magazines and newspapers for anything about witches, real or fictional.  At that time, witches were a popular theme in entertainment and we saw Sabrina and Charmed on TV and The Craft and Practical Magic at the movies.  (1) If a depiction struck me as particularly good or bad, I would write a letter praising, critiquing, or correcting depending on the situation.  The same reaction applied to news stories.  I was particularly pleased with a TV segment from Toledo where a high priestess talked about a dispute with neighbors over a backyard fire pit then answered questions from callers and an article in the Toledo Blade about two Pagan groups in nearby Ottawa County.  Someone from the Blade called to thank me for my comments and asked if I wanted my letter published as a letter to the editor.  Hopefully letters such as this encouraged the media to report on and depict us fairly and accurately.  Despite the growing acceptance of our ways, their were negative depictions.

I would of course point out the error of those who claimed we worshipped Satan or performed blood sacrifices.  I saw an article in a newspaper from Mississippi that matter of factly talked about African based Paganism, but next to it was an article that condemned Wicca as Satanic.  Undoubtedly the worst news story was in a weekly newspaper in suburban Toledo that used one of those “satanic cult experts” who Kerr Cuhulain used to write about in his column Exposing The Lies on www.witchvox.com as its source for information on Paganism.  It depicted our faith as a haven for psychotic teens bent on violence and destroying society.  I laughed at a quote from this supposed expert, “One minute they are rolling around on the ground naked, the next they are trying to kill someone,”  because a few weeks earlier on the spur of the moment during a late night Mabon ritual, I removed my clothes and lay skyclad on the dewy grass.  Killing someone was the last thing on my mind as I experienced spiritual bliss.  The letters I wrote to attack such lies at least let those responsible know we would not take it in silence.  I wrote to Pagan Educational Network as well so they could include my efforts in their newsletter so hopefully I inspired other Pagans.

I saw every letter I wrote as a learning experience both for the recipient and myself.  Also, I could be a voice for change.  Back in 1998, Camel cigarettes ran a magazine ad depicting three women around a table casting a revenge spell on the ex-boyfriend of one of them, with a poppet used as a pincushion and several books lying around, with the titles of two of them, both Pagan books, at least partially visible.  (2) I wrote a letter of protest joining about 5000 other Pagans which resulted in letters of apology from the company and the ad being pulled after only two weeks.  After a few years though, I became tired of letter writing and when I wrote to Nintendo complaining about a wicked witch in the game Banjo Kazooie, I knew I was taking this too seriously.  Who among us does not delight in the over the top portrayal of the Wicked Witch of the West by Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz?

Not all my letters were concerning entertainment and news.  Before I had internet access, I wanted to communicate with other Pagans in other places, so I did it the old fashioned way, exchanging handwritten letters with pen pals.  I placed an ad in Circle Network News (now Circle Magazine) describing what areas interested me at the time.  I received almost a dozen responses, replying to every one.  Most never wrote me back, but I corresponded with three of them for a while.  As with each Pagan friendship, it was both a matter of teaching and learning.

There was a woman in Mississippi who went by the name Silver with whom I exchanged letters with ideas and stories of experiences for about a year.  I don’t remember much of what we talked about but she told me that when she used internet access at the local library, she was told that Pagan websites were inappropriate.  I encouraged her to find another way, and she was able to go to an Atheist friend’s home to use his computer.  The longest running pen pal was Deb from Virginia with whom I corresponded for about two years.  Besides exchanging ideas, we also taped Pagan music for each other, introducing each other to new bands.  Kurt was a Californian with whom I exchanged letters for about a year and a half.  When I met him, he was in prison, so I heard firsthand the difficulties that Pagan prisoners face trying to hold ritual, celebrate sabbats, obtain books, tools and supplies and receive visits from high priests.  A lot of people are wary of contact with prisoners, but my experience was rewarding and he was eager to learn and make a fresh start in life.  Just to be safe, I used a PO box, but I did that with all my pen pals.  The last time he wrote me, he was on parole in a halfway house and excited about the future.  We had intelligent discussions and I want to share an excerpt from a letter I wrote him.

“Your letter raised some interesting points and certainly has me thinking.  One of the challenging things about being Pagan is that it requires one to think and examine personal beliefs in the light of reality and experience, rather than memorize the “party line”.  The points you touch upon remind me of those who ponder what relevance a “fertility religion” can have in a day when family planning is the norm.  The problem lies in a literal definition of the concepts of harvest and fertility.  As you explained, in the past, a sufficient harvest was essential to the survival of the tribe, as well as having children and both farm and hunted animals having young.  No amount of technology will ever negate the fact that we still depend on the Earth for survival and what we do to the Earth eventually returns to us.  In 1988, we saw crops wither and die in the fields when it didn’t rain for about ten weeks and a few years ago, fields along Lake Erie and the nearby Sandusky River were flooded by sudden heavy rains.  While it is true that nobody starved because of these events, as would have happened in the past, Mother Nature will always have the last word.  It could even be argued that the marinas, resorts, condos, and Cedar Point amusement park in this area are dependant on a good annual “crop” of tourists.”

I have sadly forgotten what I discussed with Pagans I met via the mail or online, but I remember one well.  Deb from Tennessee posted a message on a board saying that she had been told that a witch had to buy all their magickal tools before attempting ritual and spend a lot on them.  She was asking if this was true.  I posted a reply that this was not true as it was not necessary to have all tools up front and the price had nothing to do with their effectiveness.  My chalice was a glass goblet I bought one Yuletide at a fast food restaurant for 99 cents, my wand a stick from my yard, and I had several items that I found or had been given to me.  I summed it up by saying,  “Your tools are merely the means, props as it were; the magick is in you, not them.”  She thanked me for my help and we have remained in contact, although infrequently now, ever since.  She returned the favor by offering my son and I advice when he informed me he was gay, as she is a lesbian.  She also gave me a shoulder to cry on when my son passed away and when my first marriage fell apart.  Pay attention in your day to day life and I bet that you too will find that you are an accidental teacher.

Footnotes

(1) Rhymes With Rich http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,285482,00.html

(2) Pagan Passion http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/09.03.98/pagans-9835.html

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PaganDad

Patrick McCleary January, 2009

The Lessons of Winter

Winter is really here. In most parts of the United States the cold weather and snow has set in. But what does this season mean to us Pagans? We know about Yule and the rebirth of the Sun, but what about that period between Yule and Imbolc? I believe that every season and every Sabbat can teach us lessons if we only have the ears to hear and the eyes to see.

This season is traditionally a time of rest and recovery for the world. A time, when in the natural world, most trees shed their leaves and many animals turn in to hibernate for the long winter. It was also a time of rest for mankind. When the toils of the the year were finished and in many villages the people gathered around the hearth to share stories and count together the blessings of the previous year.

But what place does any of this have in our modern world? A world that never seems to sleep much less take a breath. The answer for many is ‘I’ll rest when I am dead.’

For me this answer is far from being the correct one. The modern world’s way of doing things teaches impatience and greed. And it forces us to run at breakneck pace, only to get us to the grave quicker and with far more regrets.

And this is not the message that I wish to pass on to my children. As a Pagan parent one of my responsibilities is to instill the values taught by the Goddess and God. Those values that are inherent and visible in the world around us.

The lessons I have learned from winter and that I in turn pass on to my children are many. And if you join me in looking at the world around us then I can show you a few examples.

I teach my children to be as still and quiet as a winter pond. For if we are always busy then how can we hear the Gods when They whisper to us?

They learn to be patient as well. For as we look around at the Earth and the plants upon it, and watch them seem to die and wither away, hope could be easily lost. But we know that if we wait long enough then the Earth and the plants will bloom again. This is important because sometimes the Will of the Gods are as equally mysterious and take as a long time to make sense.

But the most important lesson is for them to remember the importance of Family. For in the loving embrace of Family they can truly feel the arms of the Gods around them as well. As I said earlier, Winter was a time that friends and family gathered together around the hearth to share stories. I believe that this was important for the cohesiveness of the family and the community. And it is something that, today, is missed and is desperately needed.

This month is also marks the passage from one calendar year to another, a traditional time to make resolutions. What will our resolutions be? Will you join me and resolve to pass on the lessons the world shows us, the Lessons of Winter?

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