A Walk on the Pagan Path

January 1st, 2010

Merry Meet! I am new here at PaganPages.org and I am looking forward to this new experience. I feel an introduction is the best place to start. My name is Elizabeth Cusaac and my craft name is MeadowMoon. I was born in Florence, SC on January 18, 1977. I still live in South Carolina with my husband of 14 years and two sons, ages 13 and 8. We were fortunate enough to move to the country in 2006. This move brought about many positive changes in all of our lives. I began homeschooling my sons in 2008 which led me to work from home. As far as the spiritual changes in my life, the country can certainly bring one closer to nature. In addition to working from home with a local insurance company and homeschooling my sons, I am currently in college pursing my BS in Alternative Medicine, a case manager for a local paranormal group, a pagan podcaster, and who knows what else I will add to the list.

I have been a pagan for about 6 years. Being a pagan in the south can be quite interesting. Unfortunately, when I started out, I was completely alone and had no one to learn from so I depended heavily on books and the internet. I only studied for a short time before I had to put everything aside and mentally process what paganism was. I was raised Christian so there were many mental blocks I had to chip away at. With all the changes I have gone through over the past few years, I am back to learning at a more acceptable pace for myself. Part of this process involves my podcast “A Pagan in the Threshold” which can be found on iTunes and at www.meadowmoon.com. Before a listening audience, I have hit rewind and started at the very basics. I am currently learning Wicca. If I feel that Wicca is not what I really want to pursue, I will move onto a different path and start from scratch. I am trying to find what beliefs and practices work best for me and I invite everyone to come along for the ride.

I hope to do the same with this column. I would like to explore all I can involving paganism. I also enjoy different forms of divination that I would like to explore further. So basically, with this column, I will bring in many parts of what consists of my so called life. Whether I discuss the details of making magic in the kitchen or what the magical and healing properties of a certain herb is or tell you one of my paranormal experiences, we will no doubt have a lot to discuss. I would also like for you, the reader, to share with me your thoughts on any article I write. Many topics are found under the pagan umbrella and I look forward to learning from all of you as much as some of you may learn from me.

For my first article, I will share with you how I found myself on the pagan path. This is something I enjoy knowing about from my fellow pagans because everyone has their own unique story. As for me, I found paganism by accident. It was one of those being at the right place at the right time moments. A friend of mine was visiting from out of town. He mentioned to me that he had several books in the back seat of his car that I could have if I wanted them. When I agreed to look at them, he informed me that he was not sure if I would be interested in the type of books that they were but he knew I loved books. As I stood there waiting for him to drop the books in my arms, I started to see the word “witchcraft” and pictures of pentacles. I froze. There I stood holding books about devil worshipping. that went against everything I was ever taught as a Christian. I wondered, would I go straight to hell just by holding these books?

Curiosity got the better of me and off I went with the books, loading them into my car. Once I got home and relocated the books into my house, I just sat there staring at them. Was I putting my family at risk by merely having these books in my home? I didn’t know the answer but I was willing to take the risk apparently because I didn’t get rid of any of the books. I was not a practicing Christian, neither was anyone in my household, so maybe we would not be condemned….maybe. As a couple weeks went by, I finally found the courage to take one of the books off the stack and read it. I made sure no one would be able to see what I was reading so I waited for everyone to go to bed for the night.

As I started reading, I couldn’t stop. What was this strange thing called pagan? A God and Goddess, what in the world? I continued to read until everything became so clear that I almost broke down into tears. I WAS A PAGAN! How could this be? No matter what questions I continued to ask myself, there was no denying that though the information I was reading was strange, it made the gears in my head turn. Things that I often questioned about Christianity were now being answered. The days and weeks went by and I continued to digest all the information I had read either from the book or found on the internet. I knew for sure that I was a pagan and it also felt like I had been pagan most of my life. Everything that encompassed what a pagan was was exactly how I felt about things. I never knew there was a term for what I believed. Then I found myself in a weird place. I knew that being pagan did not involve worshipping of the devil, but what was I suppose to say to my friends and family. It didn’t take me long to realize that I just needed to keep my mouth shut and test the waters ever so gently. Over time, I told my children and husband, and then told some friends and coworkers. At this time, I feel good knowing that the people close to me in my life know, except for only one. Maybe one day I will be able to share this with her, then again, maybe not.

Feel free to share with me and the other readers how you stumbled onto the pagan path.

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