{"id":15341,"date":"2017-10-01T01:10:13","date_gmt":"2017-10-01T06:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=15913"},"modified":"2017-09-29T13:41:30","modified_gmt":"2017-09-29T18:41:30","slug":"the-sober-pagan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2017\/10\/01\/the-sober-pagan\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sober Pagan"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Issue of Powerlessness<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/a> It\u2019s a beautiful fall day and I am on my way to an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting. It\u2019s not easy for me to get to meetings, because I don\u2019t have a car and public transportation in the Western New York area leaves a lot to be desired. To attend a one-hour meeting means traveling at least forty-five minutes to an hour each way on the bus. For years, this dead time on the bus kept me from attending meetings at all and of course, I invariably ended up drinking again. I had to get real with myself \u2013 what\u2019s the difference between wasting time with public transportation or wasting time in a bar?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My name is Polly and I\u2019m an alcoholic and a drug addict.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I once had eight years of sobriety but I went \u201cback out\u201d, as they say in AA, and I\u2019ve been \u201cin and out\u201d ever since. I\u2019ve been trying <\/span>very hard <\/i><\/span>since I moved back to Buffalo, mostly for health reasons. I have to admit, I really like drinking. It\u2019s really \u2013 drinking doesn\u2019t like me. That\u2019s the truth of it. It\u2019s like being in love with an abusive man. I always thought domestic violence was a lot like addiction.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Like all non-Abrahamic religious people \u2013 Pagan, Wiccans, Buddhists, and all the non-believers \u2013 I have many issues with AA. Unfortunately, in Buffalo \u2013 like many cities \u2013 it\u2019s really the only game in town. There are a few SOS (Save Ourselves, or Secural Organization for Sobriety) meetings but nothing that I would be able to attend, given my disability. Rational Recovery stopped meeting in Buffalo back in the 1990\u2019s. Women for Sobriety, the recovery group founded in 1975 by Jean Kirkpatrick as a women\u2019s alternative to AA, also has no meetings in the Buffalo area, but I do subscribe to their weekly newsletter. I have tried to stay sober on my own \u2013 doing sobriety spells, daily meditation, working out, white knuckling it. Invariably I drink and drug again.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I once had a sponsor who told me, \u201cMeeting makers make it.\u201d So I am getting on the bus and going to a meeting. Even if it takes up my entire morning. Again, what else am I doing? If I drink, then I\u2019m drinking for the entire day. I\u2019m a daytime drinker \u2013 I start around 11 in morning and stop around dinner time \u2013 that\u2019s how I do it. And then I\u2019m going to be sick for my entire tomorrow. So why am I bitching about a meeting taking up my entire morning? I can go home after the meeting and have the afternoon to write and create art. And I\u2019ll feel <\/span>good <\/i><\/span>tomorrow. Hello? I have a <\/span>problem <\/i><\/span>with that?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I think what most of us Pagans and Wiccans have an issue with \u2013 first thing \u2013 is the idea of being powerless over alcohol and drugs and everything else in the world \u2013 an idea that is stressed over and over again in AA and all the \u201canonymous\u201d groups. After all, the whole idea of being a witch \u2013 I consider myself to be a witch, I don\u2019t if you do \u2013 is to own your own power. So the idea of admitting powerlessness goes against the grain of everything we have been working toward as Pagans and Wiccans.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

However \u2013 when we are wasted on alcohol \u2013 when we are hungover and puking and have headache that would split the atom \u2013 that\u2019s not powerful. Be honest. How many times has someone taken advantage of you when you\u2019ve been wasted on drugs? For me, it\u2019s too many times to count. Too many terrible things have happened to me and I bet, to you, too. That\u2019s what powerlessness is about.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was on the bus the other day and it flashed to me \u2013 one of those lightbulb moments \u2013 instead of thinking about being powerless over alcohol, I would think of it as \u201cSobriety is powerful\u201d. My power is in being sober. I can make better magic, stronger spells, have more meaningful meditation sessions when I am sober. And I mean sober on a daily basis.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you want true freedom \u2013 and that\u2019s what being Pagan is all about \u2013 you have to be sober, too. I truly believe that. It took me years to get here, but I\u2019m here now. If you want what I have, well, be here next month and I\u2019ll have something else to share with you.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Brightest Blessings!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

About the Author:<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Polly MacDavid<\/b><\/span>\u00a0lives in Buffalo, New York at the moment but that could easily change, since she is a gypsy at heart. Like a gypsy, she is attracted to the divinatory arts, as well as camp fires and dancing barefoot. She has three cats who all help her with her magic.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Her philosophy about religion and magic is that it must be thoroughly based in science and logic. She is Dianic Wiccan and she is solitary.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

She blogs at\u00a0silverapplequeen.wordpress.com<\/a>. She writes about general life, politics and poetry. She is writing a novel about sex, drugs and recovery.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Issue of Powerlessness It\u2019s a beautiful fall day and I am on my way to an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting. It\u2019s not easy for me to get to meetings, because I don\u2019t have a car and public transportation in the Western New York area leaves a lot to be desired. To attend a one-hour meeting means traveling at least forty-five minutes to an hour each way on the bus. For years, this dead time on the bus kept me from attending meetings at all and of course, I invariably ended up drinking again. I had to get real with myself \u2013 what\u2019s the difference between wasting time with public transportation or wasting time in a bar? My name is Polly and I\u2019m an alcoholic and a drug addict. I once had eight years of sobriety but I went \u201cback out\u201d, as they say in AA, and I\u2019ve been \u201cin and out\u201d ever since. I\u2019ve been trying very hard since I moved back to Buffalo, mostly for health reasons. I have to admit, I really like drinking. It\u2019s really \u2013 drinking doesn\u2019t like me. That\u2019s the truth of it. It\u2019s like being in love with an abusive man. I always thought domestic violence was a lot like addiction. Like all non-Abrahamic religious people \u2013 Pagan, Wiccans, Buddhists, and all the non-believers \u2013 I have many issues with AA. Unfortunately, in Buffalo \u2013 like many cities \u2013 it\u2019s really the only game in town. There are a few SOS (Save Ourselves, or Secural Organization for Sobriety) meetings but nothing that I would be able to attend, given my disability. Rational Recovery stopped meeting in Buffalo back in the 1990\u2019s. Women for Sobriety, the recovery group founded in 1975 by Jean Kirkpatrick as a women\u2019s alternative to AA, also has no meetings in the Buffalo area, but I do subscribe to their weekly newsletter. I have tried to stay sober on my own \u2013 doing sobriety spells, daily meditation, working out, white knuckling it. Invariably I drink and drug again. I once had a sponsor who told me, \u201cMeeting makers make it.\u201d So I am getting on the bus and going to a meeting. Even if it takes up my entire morning. Again, what else am I doing? If I drink, then I\u2019m drinking for the entire day. I\u2019m a daytime drinker \u2013 I start around 11 in morning and stop around dinner time \u2013 that\u2019s how I do it. And then I\u2019m going to be sick for my entire tomorrow. So why am I bitching about a meeting taking up my entire morning? I can go home after the meeting and have the afternoon to write and create art. And I\u2019ll feel good tomorrow. Hello? I have a problem with that? I think what most of us Pagans and Wiccans have an issue with \u2013 first thing \u2013 is the idea of being powerless over alcohol and drugs and everything else in the world \u2013 an idea that is stressed over and over again in AA and all the \u201canonymous\u201d groups. After all, the whole idea of being a witch \u2013 I consider myself to be a witch, I don\u2019t if you do \u2013 is to own your own power. So the idea of admitting powerlessness goes against the grain of everything we have been working toward as Pagans and Wiccans. However \u2013 when we are wasted on alcohol \u2013 when we are hungover and puking and have headache that would split the atom \u2013 that\u2019s not powerful. Be honest. How many times has someone taken advantage of you when you\u2019ve been wasted on drugs? For me, it\u2019s too many times to count. Too many terrible things have happened to me and I bet, to you, too. That\u2019s what powerlessness is about. I was on the bus the other day and it flashed to me \u2013 one of those lightbulb moments \u2013 instead of thinking about being powerless over alcohol, I would think of it as \u201cSobriety is powerful\u201d. My power is in being sober. I can make better magic, stronger spells, have more meaningful meditation sessions when I am sober. And I mean sober on a daily basis. If you want true freedom \u2013 and that\u2019s what being Pagan is all about \u2013 you have to be sober, too. I truly believe that. It took me years to get here, but I\u2019m here now. If you want what I have, well, be here next month and I\u2019ll have something else to share with you. Brightest Blessings! *** About the Author: Polly MacDavid\u00a0lives in Buffalo, New York at the moment but that could easily change, since she is a gypsy at heart. Like a gypsy, she is attracted to the divinatory arts, as well as camp fires and dancing barefoot. She has three cats who all help her with her magic. Her philosophy about religion and magic is that it must be thoroughly based in science and logic. She is Dianic Wiccan and she is solitary. She blogs at\u00a0silverapplequeen.wordpress.com. She writes about general life, politics and poetry. She is writing a novel about sex, drugs and recovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15341"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15341\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}