{"id":16689,"date":"2018-03-01T01:10:13","date_gmt":"2018-03-01T06:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=17345"},"modified":"2018-02-27T11:48:30","modified_gmt":"2018-02-27T16:48:30","slug":"the-sober-pagan-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2018\/03\/01\/the-sober-pagan-4\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sober Pagan"},"content":{"rendered":"

The One Thing That Keeps Me Sober<\/b><\/u><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

(Photo by Yoal Desurmont<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a>)<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a terrible winter for me. The weather has been working against me. We had a very snowy and windy winter here in Buffalo \u2013 which honestly, isn\u2019t that unusual here \u2013 but we also had to contend with a lot of freezing rain and icy conditions on the roads and sidewalks. As a pedestrian who owns a really good pair of boots, I can deal with the snow but ice will keep me indoors since I don\u2019t want to fall and break a bone. So there were many days I would have gotten out but I stayed indoors.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There were AA meetings I would have gone to but between the weather and the local bus service running \u201cSunday service\u201d on Monday holidays, I have yet to get to a meeting this year! Yes, I know I could go to other meetings but you know how it is when you find a meeting you really like. This one isn\u2019t that far from my house but I do need to take the bus to get there.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The other thing is that at the end of January, I got that terrible flu that\u2019s been going around. If you haven\u2019t gotten sick from this flu, count yourself lucky. Or blessed. I know people who got flu shots and they got wicked sick. I haven\u2019t gotten a flu shot in over ten years and I rarely get sick \u2013 a cold every winter and a sinus infection or two \u2013 a reminder of my cocaine days \u2013 but I haven\u2019t gotten \u201cThe Flu\u201d in a long time. But this year, I was so sick, not only did I think I was going to die, I really wanted to. My lungs have never hurt so badly in my life. I thought of my friends who smoke cigarettes and have COPD and I wonder how they deal with this! My son called me everyday and bitched at me for not going to the ER. But I didn\u2019t have the energy to go anywhere. <\/i>I lost nine pounds in four days. I drank bottle after bottle of spring water. I sipped chicken soup. Eventually I got better. I started eating again. The cough hung on for three weeks. But that\u2019s subsided now, too. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A persistent depression has dogged me these past few days. My aunt, who is 88 years old, had a stroke this summer and is now going into assisted living, since she is always falling and getting tangled up in her walker. She can\u2019t cook for herself anymore. My aunt is the picture of sober living \u2013 she never smoked cigarettes, drank, ate very sparingly, and of course never did drugs. But here she is \u2013 at age 88 \u2013 totally incapacitated and dependent \u2013 not to mention depressed and angry. I was thinking about this. What\u2019s the point to live such a sober life, just to end up all messed up anyway? <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, this is classic \u201cstinkin\u2019 thinkin\u2019\u201d and how you start on the road to relapse. I know that I had better get to a meeting right quick or at least call one of my sober friends or open the Big Book or one of my other recovery books. And the main thing I have to remember is:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t about when I am 88 years old. It isn\u2019t about some time in the future that may or may not happen. Or something \u2013 like having a stroke \u2013 that may or may not happen. It\u2019s about now. <\/i>It\u2019s about having a good life now. <\/i>That\u2019s the real meaning of \u201cOne day at a time\u201d \u2013 it doesn\u2019t mean don\u2019t plan for the future \u2013 because we all have to make plans or else we won\u2019t have <\/i>a future \u2013 but it means to live fully in the now. <\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To me, if there\u2019s one thing that keeps me sober on a daily basis, it\u2019s the fact that I passionately hate hangovers. I used to take them with a grain of salt \u2013 they were the payment for having a really good time, right? But now \u2013 I don\u2019t want to wake up feeling like that at all. <\/i>When I was sick with the flu, I thought that I would rather <\/i>have a hangover but honestly \u2013 I don\u2019t want to be sick with the flu or<\/i> a hangover. And the thing with hangovers \u2013 they\u2019re preventable. All you have to do is don\u2019t take that first drink. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hopefully, I\u2019ll have something a happier report next month. Until then \u2013 hang in there and stay sober. Brightest Blessings!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

About the Author:<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Polly MacDavid<\/b>\u00a0lives in Buffalo, New York at the moment but that could easily change, since she is a gypsy at heart. Like a gypsy, she is attracted to the divinatory arts, as well as camp fires and dancing barefoot. She has three cats who all help her with her magic.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Her philosophy about religion and magic is that it must be thoroughly based in science and logic. She is Dianic Wiccan and she is solitary.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>She blogs at\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>silverapplequeen.wordpress.com<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>. She writes about general life, politics and poetry. She is writing a novel about sex, drugs and recovery.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The One Thing That Keeps Me Sober \u00a0 (Photo by Yoal Desurmont on Unsplash)   It\u2019s been a terrible winter for me. The weather has been working against me. We had a very snowy and windy winter here in Buffalo \u2013 which honestly, isn\u2019t that unusual here \u2013 but we also had to contend with a lot of freezing rain and icy conditions on the roads and sidewalks. As a pedestrian who owns a really good pair of boots, I can deal with the snow but ice will keep me indoors since I don\u2019t want to fall and break a bone. So there were many days I would have gotten out but I stayed indoors. There were AA meetings I would have gone to but between the weather and the local bus service running \u201cSunday service\u201d on Monday holidays, I have yet to get to a meeting this year! Yes, I know I could go to other meetings but you know how it is when you find a meeting you really like. This one isn\u2019t that far from my house but I do need to take the bus to get there. The other thing is that at the end of January, I got that terrible flu that\u2019s been going around. If you haven\u2019t gotten sick from this flu, count yourself lucky. Or blessed. I know people who got flu shots and they got wicked sick. I haven\u2019t gotten a flu shot in over ten years and I rarely get sick \u2013 a cold every winter and a sinus infection or two \u2013 a reminder of my cocaine days \u2013 but I haven\u2019t gotten \u201cThe Flu\u201d in a long time. But this year, I was so sick, not only did I think I was going to die, I really wanted to. My lungs have never hurt so badly in my life. I thought of my friends who smoke cigarettes and have COPD and I wonder how they deal with this! My son called me everyday and bitched at me for not going to the ER. But I didn\u2019t have the energy to go anywhere. I lost nine pounds in four days. I drank bottle after bottle of spring water. I sipped chicken soup. Eventually I got better. I started eating again. The cough hung on for three weeks. But that\u2019s subsided now, too. A persistent depression has dogged me these past few days. My aunt, who is 88 years old, had a stroke this summer and is now going into assisted living, since she is always falling and getting tangled up in her walker. She can\u2019t cook for herself anymore. My aunt is the picture of sober living \u2013 she never smoked cigarettes, drank, ate very sparingly, and of course never did drugs. But here she is \u2013 at age 88 \u2013 totally incapacitated and dependent \u2013 not to mention depressed and angry. I was thinking about this. What\u2019s the point to live such a sober life, just to end up all messed up anyway? Of course, this is classic \u201cstinkin\u2019 thinkin\u2019\u201d and how you start on the road to relapse. I know that I had better get to a meeting right quick or at least call one of my sober friends or open the Big Book or one of my other recovery books. And the main thing I have to remember is: It isn\u2019t about when I am 88 years old. It isn\u2019t about some time in the future that may or may not happen. Or something \u2013 like having a stroke \u2013 that may or may not happen. It\u2019s about now. It\u2019s about having a good life now. That\u2019s the real meaning of \u201cOne day at a time\u201d \u2013 it doesn\u2019t mean don\u2019t plan for the future \u2013 because we all have to make plans or else we won\u2019t have a future \u2013 but it means to live fully in the now. To me, if there\u2019s one thing that keeps me sober on a daily basis, it\u2019s the fact that I passionately hate hangovers. I used to take them with a grain of salt \u2013 they were the payment for having a really good time, right? But now \u2013 I don\u2019t want to wake up feeling like that at all. When I was sick with the flu, I thought that I would rather have a hangover but honestly \u2013 I don\u2019t want to be sick with the flu or a hangover. And the thing with hangovers \u2013 they\u2019re preventable. All you have to do is don\u2019t take that first drink. Hopefully, I\u2019ll have something a happier report next month. Until then \u2013 hang in there and stay sober. Brightest Blessings! *** About the Author: Polly MacDavid\u00a0lives in Buffalo, New York at the moment but that could easily change, since she is a gypsy at heart. Like a gypsy, she is attracted to the divinatory arts, as well as camp fires and dancing barefoot. She has three cats who all help her with her magic. Her philosophy about religion and magic is that it must be thoroughly based in science and logic. She is Dianic Wiccan and she is solitary. She blogs at\u00a0silverapplequeen.wordpress.com. She writes about general life, politics and poetry. She is writing a novel about sex, drugs and recovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16689","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16689"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16689\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}