{"id":16961,"date":"2018-05-01T01:10:34","date_gmt":"2018-05-01T06:10:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=17886"},"modified":"2018-05-01T20:05:07","modified_gmt":"2018-05-02T01:05:07","slug":"a-womans-place-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2018\/05\/01\/a-womans-place-5\/","title":{"rendered":"A Woman\u2019s Place"},"content":{"rendered":"

Judging Women <\/b><\/u><\/span>\u2013 <\/b><\/u>Ourselves <\/b><\/u><\/span>&<\/b><\/u><\/span> O<\/b><\/u>t<\/b><\/u>hers<\/b><\/u><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One of the things that stand out for me in the everyday world is how women judge themselves, and other women, so harshly.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It happens between friends when one is unintentionally hurt by the words of others. In a friendship, for the most part, although there are exceptions, no one ever wants to hurt the other, but it happens. You apologize and, with hope, move forward.<\/span> \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Stop a moment and think about how much and how often we judge others; those we know, and more often, those we do not know. <\/span>\u00a0This is especially prevalent in women; women judging ourselves and women cruelly judging other women. <\/span>\u00a0We do it; we ALL do it, even those who believe we are <\/span>\u201cenlightened<\/span>\u201d and feminist in our thinking, whether we wish to admit it to ourselves or not.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I am of the opinion that this is the way this patriarchal culture, this male-dominated society, has trained us to be so. <\/span>\u00a0I am not going to go into the many wrongs done to women and to people of color by a white-male privileged society, not here anyway and not yet (fair warning). <\/span>\u00a0This is more to the way women are trained from birth to judge and to distrust other women. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It would appear that the most important thing any female can do in this culture is to find a man, keep him, marry him and raise a family. <\/span>\u00a0We are told this continually, we see it daily in movies, on TV, in books (for those fortunate enough to love to read). <\/span>\u00a0This is the life we are trained for. <\/span>\u00a0Little girls get toy vacuums, little plastic kitchens, tea sets; we are the ones who are taught to set the table, clean the house, do the chores, and maybe get taught how to cook, at least the basics. <\/span>\u00a0As we grow older, we shave the unwanted hair on our bodies, make ourselves up like kewpie dolls, all in the name of <\/span>\u201cgetting a man<\/span>\u201d. \u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(<\/span>Photo by Omar Lopez<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/span>)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As we look around at the men available to us, the women who should be our friends, our allies, somehow become our enemies, our rivals, in the getting of a man. <\/span>\u00a0So, we look at them. <\/span>\u00a0What do they have that I don<\/span>\u2019<\/span>t have? <\/span>\u00a0What color is their hair? <\/span>\u00a0Are they fat? <\/span>\u00a0Are they thin? <\/span>\u00a0Who looks at them and who looks at me? <\/span>\u00a0We slowly begin to judge ourselves <\/span>\u2013 how do we stack up compared to them. <\/span>\u00a0Media and culture being what it is, we NEVER come out on top. <\/span>\u00a0There is something wrong with us, because we are TOLD something is wrong with us. <\/span>\u00a0 We begin to judge the other women. <\/span>\u00a0If we are not perfect, then neither are they. <\/span>\u00a0This does not make us sympathetic to them because we can relate; this makes us judge them even more harshly. <\/span>\u00a0It becomes <\/span>\u201cshe<\/span>\u2019<\/span>s ugly\u201d, she<\/span>\u2019<\/span>s so fat<\/span>\u201d, she<\/span>\u2019<\/span>s easy, whatever the hell that might be. <\/span>\u00a0The names being <\/span>\u201cfatso\u201d, \u201cslut<\/span>\u201d, \u201cwhore<\/span>\u201d, bitch\u201d. \u00a0How often do the <\/span>\u201cmean girls<\/span>\u201d stop and think about how they may feel if these words were hurled at them in hatred? <\/span>\u00a0Unfortunately, words like this are said by even those who are not considered the mean girls and it continues into adulthood. When women, themselves, judge each other, see each other as “enemies”, how hard does patriarchy need to work to put us down? Not very hard as we put ourselves down.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This, I believe, is one of the biggest problems faced by <\/span>feminism, and, really, it does not matter if you are a radical feminist, or a liberal feminist or anything in between because we are all affected. Seriously, how do you get a woman raised to believe they are second-best, inferior, not-good-enough, to get rid of the judging, get rid of the distrust and band together, stand together to fight the status quo? <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019<\/span>t pretend to have the answer, but I believe it starts by teaching little girls they are valuable, they are worthy, they are important. <\/span>\u00a0We teach them that the Divine once was, and still is, a woman. <\/span>\u00a0We continue this dialogue that has already begun, with each and every woman we meet in real life and online. <\/span>\u00a0We create sacred circles of women to stand together and be strong and TEACH each younger generation of women what is right and what has been wrong for so, so long in the treatment of women and it has to change and it has to begin, and continue, with women.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

About the Author:<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Susan Morgaine<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>is a Daughter of the Goddess, Witch, Writer,\u00a0Teacher, Healer,\u00a0and\u00a0Yogini.\u00a0She is a monthly columnist with\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>PaganPages.org<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>Her writings can be found in The Girl God Anthologies,\u00a0\u201cWhatever Works: Feminists of Faith Speak\u201d\u00a0and\u00a0\u201cJesus, Mohammed and the Goddess\u201d, as well as Mago Publications\u00a0\u201cShe Rises, Volume 2, and \u201cCelebrating Seasons of the Goddess\u201d. She has also been published in\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Jareeda<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>and\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>SageWoman<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>magazines.\u00a0She is a Certified Women\u2019s Empowerment Coach\/Facilitator through\u00a0She is the author of \u201cMy Name is Isis<\/a>\u201d, one in the series of the \u201cMy Name Is\u2026\u2026\u2026\u201d children\u2019s books published by The Girl God Publications.\u00a0A Woman International, founded by Patricia Lynn Reilly. She has long been involved in Goddess Spirituality and Feminism, teaching classes and workshops, including Priestessing Red Tents within MA and RI. She is entering her 20th year teaching Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, being a Certified instructor through the Kundalini Research Institute, as well as being a Reiki Master. She is a member of the Sisterhood of Avalon. She can be found at\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>https:\/\/mysticalshores.wordpress.com\/\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>and her email is\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>MysticalShores@gmail.com<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Click Image for Amazon Information<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Judging Women \u2013 Ourselves & Others One of the things that stand out for me in the everyday world is how women judge themselves, and other women, so harshly. It happens between friends when one is unintentionally hurt by the words of others. In a friendship, for the most part, although there are exceptions, no one ever wants to hurt the other, but it happens. You apologize and, with hope, move forward. \u00a0\u00a0 Stop a moment and think about how much and how often we judge others; those we know, and more often, those we do not know. \u00a0This is especially prevalent in women; women judging ourselves and women cruelly judging other women. \u00a0We do it; we ALL do it, even those who believe we are \u201cenlightened\u201d and feminist in our thinking, whether we wish to admit it to ourselves or not. I am of the opinion that this is the way this patriarchal culture, this male-dominated society, has trained us to be so. \u00a0I am not going to go into the many wrongs done to women and to people of color by a white-male privileged society, not here anyway and not yet (fair warning). \u00a0This is more to the way women are trained from birth to judge and to distrust other women. It would appear that the most important thing any female can do in this culture is to find a man, keep him, marry him and raise a family. \u00a0We are told this continually, we see it daily in movies, on TV, in books (for those fortunate enough to love to read). \u00a0This is the life we are trained for. \u00a0Little girls get toy vacuums, little plastic kitchens, tea sets; we are the ones who are taught to set the table, clean the house, do the chores, and maybe get taught how to cook, at least the basics. \u00a0As we grow older, we shave the unwanted hair on our bodies, make ourselves up like kewpie dolls, all in the name of \u201cgetting a man\u201d. \u00a0 (Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash) As we look around at the men available to us, the women who should be our friends, our allies, somehow become our enemies, our rivals, in the getting of a man. \u00a0So, we look at them. \u00a0What do they have that I don\u2019t have? \u00a0What color is their hair? \u00a0Are they fat? \u00a0Are they thin? \u00a0Who looks at them and who looks at me? \u00a0We slowly begin to judge ourselves \u2013 how do we stack up compared to them. \u00a0Media and culture being what it is, we NEVER come out on top. \u00a0There is something wrong with us, because we are TOLD something is wrong with us. \u00a0 We begin to judge the other women. \u00a0If we are not perfect, then neither are they. \u00a0This does not make us sympathetic to them because we can relate; this makes us judge them even more harshly. \u00a0It becomes \u201cshe\u2019s ugly\u201d, she\u2019s so fat\u201d, she\u2019s easy, whatever the hell that might be. \u00a0The names being \u201cfatso\u201d, \u201cslut\u201d, \u201cwhore\u201d, bitch\u201d. \u00a0How often do the \u201cmean girls\u201d stop and think about how they may feel if these words were hurled at them in hatred? \u00a0Unfortunately, words like this are said by even those who are not considered the mean girls and it continues into adulthood. When women, themselves, judge each other, see each other as “enemies”, how hard does patriarchy need to work to put us down? Not very hard as we put ourselves down. This, I believe, is one of the biggest problems faced by feminism, and, really, it does not matter if you are a radical feminist, or a liberal feminist or anything in between because we are all affected. Seriously, how do you get a woman raised to believe they are second-best, inferior, not-good-enough, to get rid of the judging, get rid of the distrust and band together, stand together to fight the status quo? \u00a0 I don\u2019t pretend to have the answer, but I believe it starts by teaching little girls they are valuable, they are worthy, they are important. \u00a0We teach them that the Divine once was, and still is, a woman. \u00a0We continue this dialogue that has already begun, with each and every woman we meet in real life and online. \u00a0We create sacred circles of women to stand together and be strong and TEACH each younger generation of women what is right and what has been wrong for so, so long in the treatment of women and it has to change and it has to begin, and continue, with women. *** About the Author: Susan Morgaine\u00a0is a Daughter of the Goddess, Witch, Writer,\u00a0Teacher, Healer,\u00a0and\u00a0Yogini.\u00a0She is a monthly columnist with\u00a0PaganPages.org\u00a0Her writings can be found in The Girl God Anthologies,\u00a0\u201cWhatever Works: Feminists of Faith Speak\u201d\u00a0and\u00a0\u201cJesus, Mohammed and the Goddess\u201d, as well as Mago Publications\u00a0\u201cShe Rises, Volume 2, and \u201cCelebrating Seasons of the Goddess\u201d. She has also been published in\u00a0Jareeda\u00a0and\u00a0SageWoman\u00a0magazines.\u00a0She is a Certified Women\u2019s Empowerment Coach\/Facilitator through\u00a0She is the author of \u201cMy Name is Isis\u201d, one in the series of the \u201cMy Name Is\u2026\u2026\u2026\u201d children\u2019s books published by The Girl God Publications.\u00a0A Woman International, founded by Patricia Lynn Reilly. She has long been involved in Goddess Spirituality and Feminism, teaching classes and workshops, including Priestessing Red Tents within MA and RI. She is entering her 20th year teaching Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, being a Certified instructor through the Kundalini Research Institute, as well as being a Reiki Master. She is a member of the Sisterhood of Avalon. She can be found at\u00a0https:\/\/mysticalshores.wordpress.com\/\u00a0and her email is\u00a0MysticalShores@gmail.com Click Image for Amazon Information<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":212,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":1,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/212"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16961"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16961\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}