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Early in my teaching career, I was at a crossroads.\u00a0 After three years as a public schoolteacher, I wasn\u2019t sure whether I was cut out to be an educator.\u00a0 I loved the kids and teaching, but it was clear from my run-ins with school administrators and colleagues that I was not on the same wavelength as them.\u00a0 Even during my practicum work as a university student, I was told by my mentor that she would do everything in her power to make sure I didn\u2019t become a teacher. I was upsetting the applecart with the new education ideas I brought with me into the field. Luckily, my faculty associate at university advocated for me, citing my willingness to take risks and try new things in service of my students as being essential qualities of a good educator. After a year of rough practicum experiences, I graduated with a Bachelor in Education and I was ready to enter the profession as a certified teacher. I looked forward to leaving these challenges behind me.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Years after this event, I was sitting at home one Friday night when I got a call from a teacher whose class I substitute taught in the day before.\u00a0 I listened for fifteen minutes as she tore a strip off of me. She criticized my teaching methods and attacked my character.\u00a0 I\u2019d never even met this teacher before. What could have been a really good professional development moment where she got curious about my teaching strategies to learn more, turned nasty. She ended by saying: \u201cThey should never have certified you.\u00a0 You are a horrible excuse for a teacher. I don\u2019t know how you made it through your teaching practicums.\u201d I never got a chance to say a word.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t know if she was right or not. I was in shock.\u00a0 When I recovered, I reached out to one of my experienced teacher friends. He was outraged when I told him what happened and urged me to complain to the principal of the school and file a grievance with the union. At this point, I felt so discouraged and tired of swimming upstream in the education system that I quit all three school districts I was working for.\u00a0 I needed to find clarity. I prayed for help and said to the universe: \u201cIf I am meant to be an educator, please send me the job that is right for me.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n At the encouragement of a friend who was a horticulturist with her own landscaping company, I started working full-time as an apprentice gardener.\u00a0 Gardening and farming were in my ancestry; Portuguese people have a deep reverence for the land and find ways to create gardens wherever they live.\u00a0 It\u2019s not uncommon for apartment balconies to be filled with pots containing edible plants.\u00a0 My paternal grandpa was a farmer in Portugal and continued that practice in his East Vancouver lot when he moved to Canada. It felt comforting to be walking in his footsteps.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Each day working with the plants in silence, I began recovering more parts of my soul that had left me bit by bit during my years as a public schoolteacher.\u00a0 I got really clear in my mind about the reasons I became an educator and began questioning all the negative feedback I\u2019d received from colleagues.\u00a0 Why were they so threatened by my methods?\u00a0 Why was it so horrible to include parents in their children\u2019s learning?\u00a0 Why were my students expected to follow unjust school rules?\u00a0 Why did students have no say in their education and in helping to develop the school\u2019s ethos?\u00a0 I simply didn\u2019t understand why we as educators couldn\u2019t team up with children.\u00a0 Why were we at war with learners and families when we didn\u2019t need to be?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n After a year of working with the plants, I developed a plan to open a small school. I started talking to professionals in the community who had already done this.\u00a0 During my research, I found a school and learning philosophy I really grooved with.\u00a0 I called the founder to see if he would meet with me and teach me how to begin manifesting my dream. Surprisingly, he said, \u201cWe\u2019re already doing what you want to do.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you just come work with us?\u201d\u00a0 That was in 2004 and the rest is history.\u00a0 During our first meeting, I looked around at my fifty colleagues sitting in a circle discussing pedagogy and I knew I\u2019d found the \u201cstaff room\u201d I belonged in.\u00a0 We were all on the same team and we all had similar values when it came to our work with children. I\u2019d finally come home as an educator.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Most of all, I learned from the plants to accept myself as I was and to trust what I knew deep inside of me: I was a good educator with a passion for advocating for children\u2019s rights to learn in ways that matched their sensibilities.\u00a0 I found a place deep inside that I anchored into to draw strength.\u00a0 Though I honour and respect my public school colleagues, I don\u2019t regret my decision to leave and take a path less traveled.\u00a0 Plants stay rooted while they reach for the sun.\u00a0 They give life without asking anything of us in return.\u00a0 They stand in what they know with tremendous trust.\u00a0They showed me that what I was actually doing as an educator was aligning with life and its natural flow.\u00a0 It paid off big to stop warring with the truth inside me, even though it flew in the face of conventional \u201cwisdom.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n In the years since, I\u2019ve worked with hundreds of children\u2013 many of whom are now adults who are thriving. They know who they are as people and they are aware of what their strengths and weaknesses are. They have learned the skills to excel in their interests with confidence. They are not afraid to follow unconventional paths in life. I am so humbled by the fact that I\u2019ve been able to walk alongside them on their journeys for a short while. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Today, I know that I wouldn\u2019t have been effective at guiding children if I hadn\u2019t had the courage to take leaps of faith myself. How could I ask children to take risks if I hadn\u2019t practiced that skill? All those early challenges had a purpose: to prepare me to bring forward the educator I really was in my heart. I learned that it is not how other people see you that determines your character or worthiness. We are all worthy. Today, I respect the kind of educator I am even when colleagues do not agree with my methods. Honouring myself\u00ad\u2013like I do each of the vastly different children in my care\u2013was the key that was there all along inside of me. I am grateful I found the courage to turn it and walk through the door into my new life.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n ***<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n About the Author:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Jennifer Engr\u00e1cio<\/span><\/span> has been a student of shamanism since 2005. Jennifer is a certified teacher who has worked with children in many different education settings since 2001. She is a certified shamanic coach, reiki master, and lomilomi practitioner; in addition, she runs Spiral Dance Shamanics. Originally from Vancouver, Canada, she now lives in Calgary, Canada with her life partner. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Engr\u00e1cio participated in self-publishing three books that are now available: <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>The Magic Circle: Shamanic Ceremonies for the Child and the Child Within\u201d <\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>Women\u2019s Power Stories: Honouring the Feminine Principle of Life\u201d <\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Jen-200x300.jpg\")
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