{"id":18983,"date":"2018-11-01T01:10:30","date_gmt":"2018-11-01T06:10:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=19589"},"modified":"2018-10-30T13:32:57","modified_gmt":"2018-10-30T18:32:57","slug":"the-sober-pagan-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2018\/11\/01\/the-sober-pagan-8\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sober Pagan"},"content":{"rendered":"

“H.A.L.T.\u201d! Before You Continue Into The Holiday Season!<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/u><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One of the discussions lately in the rooms of AA \u2013 at least here locally \u2013 is how to get through the holiday season without relapsing. As someone who has been around recovery for a while, I find my best bet is to stay home and enjoy my own company. This year, my son\u2019s father \u2013 Mr. AA himself \u2013 is spending the Yuletide season with us, so it\u2019ll be lots of recovery talk and talk about Buddhism and other spiritual paths. Plus lots of good food to eat! I admit, I am looking forward to this! <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When people ask me my strategies for navigating holiday parties, I generally say, \u201cArrive late and leave early.\u201d But of course \u2013 you can do this as a drunk, too. I used to do it all the time. I was always on my way somewhere else from some other place and I only had a minute to spare. But the way you lived as a drunk can help you out as a sober person. You just leave out the drinking part. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Lately I\u2019ve been using the acronym \u201cH.A.L.T.\u201d when I discuss dealing with the holidays. Because the holidays \u2013 what I term the time between Canadian Thanksgiving (first Monday in October) to New Year\u2019s Eve \u2013 and depending on where you live \u2013 all the way to Super Bowl Sunday \u2013 is a giant stretch of time involving endless office parties, family get-togethers, religious rituals, community celebrations and constant reminders that we are supposed to be having<\/i> a great time! <\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

H.A.L.T. Just stop. Think. What are you doing and why are you doing it? <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s not even about relapsing. It\u2019s about running ourselves ragged trying to make everything perfect \u2013 to make up for all those years when we were perfect fuck-ups. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As you probably already know, \u201cH.A.L.T.<\/b>\u201d stands for \u201cHungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired<\/b>\u201d. Whenever something is going wrong in our lives \u2013 it doesn\u2019t even have to be a relapse \u2013 usually we are in the grip of one of those things. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I remember when I first got sober in my early thirties. Everyday, around three o\u2019clock, I would get wicked hungry. I would have to get up from my desk and go to the break room and buy a candy bar or get a Pepsi. I started making myself an extra sandwich to get myself through the three o\u2019clock hour. Then one day, I passed a bar with the sign \u201cHappy Hour\u201d in the window and it clicked. I was used to having a drink at 3:00 \u2013 I was used to drinking until the dinner hour. I wasn\u2019t hungry \u2013 <\/i>I wanted a drink. <\/i>Once I understood that, my 3 p.m. munchies largely disappeared. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Anger is one of those issues where I disagree with AA in which I think that there are times that we should <\/i>be angry and that anger can save our lives. That said, the thing is to use your anger wisely and of course, once you add alcohol into that equation, wisdom usually is not the outcome. Quite honestly, anything I can do sober I can fuck up beautifully when I\u2019m drinking. So it stands to reason that if I\u2019m angry about anything at all, <\/i>taking a drink is not going to help the situation. Especially <\/i>if I\u2019m at a holiday party! <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Loneliness is a killer but going out drinking seldom helps that. And if you\u2019re with your family and feeling like you\u2019re the outsider, having a drink probably isn\u2019t going to help that situation. The only thing that cures loneliness is learning to love your solitude. And there\u2019s always a meeting somewhere \u2013 AA, NA, Smart Recovery, WFS, SOS \u2013 find one and find your tribe. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The last letter is \u201cT\u201d and of course, that stands for \u201cTired\u201d. It is so easy to give up when we are tired. So easy to take that drink that a friend is offering us at a party \u2013 so easy to justify it \u2013 just one, right? When we are tired, our brain doesn\u2019t make good decisions. I know my brain doesn\u2019t. I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s worse \u2013 being hungry or being tired. My brain doesn\u2019t seem to be able to deal with either of them very well. So I always make sure that I am in a safe place when it\u2019s late. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My \u201cHappy Hour\u201d is now spent in my own home \u2013 sipping tea and eating my home-baked cookies. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a> So \u201cH.A.L.T.\u201d \u2013 and enjoy the season! <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Until next month \u2013 Brightest Blessings and Happy Holidays! <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

About the Author:<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Polly MacDavid<\/b>\u00a0lives in Buffalo, New York at the moment but that could easily change, since she is a gypsy at heart. Like a gypsy, she is attracted to the divinatory arts, as well as camp fires and dancing barefoot. She has three cats who all help her with her magic.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Her philosophy about religion and magic is that it must be thoroughly based in science and logic. She is Dianic Wiccan and she is solitary.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>She blogs at\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>silverapplequeen.wordpress.com<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>. She writes about general life, politics and poetry. She is writing a novel about sex, drugs and recovery.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“H.A.L.T.\u201d! Before You Continue Into The Holiday Season! One of the discussions lately in the rooms of AA \u2013 at least here locally \u2013 is how to get through the holiday season without relapsing. As someone who has been around recovery for a while, I find my best bet is to stay home and enjoy my own company. This year, my son\u2019s father \u2013 Mr. AA himself \u2013 is spending the Yuletide season with us, so it\u2019ll be lots of recovery talk and talk about Buddhism and other spiritual paths. Plus lots of good food to eat! I admit, I am looking forward to this! When people ask me my strategies for navigating holiday parties, I generally say, \u201cArrive late and leave early.\u201d But of course \u2013 you can do this as a drunk, too. I used to do it all the time. I was always on my way somewhere else from some other place and I only had a minute to spare. But the way you lived as a drunk can help you out as a sober person. You just leave out the drinking part. Lately I\u2019ve been using the acronym \u201cH.A.L.T.\u201d when I discuss dealing with the holidays. Because the holidays \u2013 what I term the time between Canadian Thanksgiving (first Monday in October) to New Year\u2019s Eve \u2013 and depending on where you live \u2013 all the way to Super Bowl Sunday \u2013 is a giant stretch of time involving endless office parties, family get-togethers, religious rituals, community celebrations and constant reminders that we are supposed to be having a great time! H.A.L.T. Just stop. Think. What are you doing and why are you doing it? Sometimes it\u2019s not even about relapsing. It\u2019s about running ourselves ragged trying to make everything perfect \u2013 to make up for all those years when we were perfect fuck-ups. As you probably already know, \u201cH.A.L.T.\u201d stands for \u201cHungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired\u201d. Whenever something is going wrong in our lives \u2013 it doesn\u2019t even have to be a relapse \u2013 usually we are in the grip of one of those things. I remember when I first got sober in my early thirties. Everyday, around three o\u2019clock, I would get wicked hungry. I would have to get up from my desk and go to the break room and buy a candy bar or get a Pepsi. I started making myself an extra sandwich to get myself through the three o\u2019clock hour. Then one day, I passed a bar with the sign \u201cHappy Hour\u201d in the window and it clicked. I was used to having a drink at 3:00 \u2013 I was used to drinking until the dinner hour. I wasn\u2019t hungry \u2013 I wanted a drink. Once I understood that, my 3 p.m. munchies largely disappeared. Anger is one of those issues where I disagree with AA in which I think that there are times that we should be angry and that anger can save our lives. That said, the thing is to use your anger wisely and of course, once you add alcohol into that equation, wisdom usually is not the outcome. Quite honestly, anything I can do sober I can fuck up beautifully when I\u2019m drinking. So it stands to reason that if I\u2019m angry about anything at all, taking a drink is not going to help the situation. Especially if I\u2019m at a holiday party! Loneliness is a killer but going out drinking seldom helps that. And if you\u2019re with your family and feeling like you\u2019re the outsider, having a drink probably isn\u2019t going to help that situation. The only thing that cures loneliness is learning to love your solitude. And there\u2019s always a meeting somewhere \u2013 AA, NA, Smart Recovery, WFS, SOS \u2013 find one and find your tribe. The last letter is \u201cT\u201d and of course, that stands for \u201cTired\u201d. It is so easy to give up when we are tired. So easy to take that drink that a friend is offering us at a party \u2013 so easy to justify it \u2013 just one, right? When we are tired, our brain doesn\u2019t make good decisions. I know my brain doesn\u2019t. I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s worse \u2013 being hungry or being tired. My brain doesn\u2019t seem to be able to deal with either of them very well. So I always make sure that I am in a safe place when it\u2019s late. My \u201cHappy Hour\u201d is now spent in my own home \u2013 sipping tea and eating my home-baked cookies. So \u201cH.A.L.T.\u201d \u2013 and enjoy the season! Until next month \u2013 Brightest Blessings and Happy Holidays! *** About the Author: Polly MacDavid\u00a0lives in Buffalo, New York at the moment but that could easily change, since she is a gypsy at heart. Like a gypsy, she is attracted to the divinatory arts, as well as camp fires and dancing barefoot. She has three cats who all help her with her magic. Her philosophy about religion and magic is that it must be thoroughly based in science and logic. She is Dianic Wiccan and she is solitary. She blogs at\u00a0silverapplequeen.wordpress.com. She writes about general life, politics and poetry. She is writing a novel about sex, drugs and recovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18983"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18983\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}