{"id":2423,"date":"2009-09-01T01:10:09","date_gmt":"2009-09-01T06:10:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=2444"},"modified":"2009-08-28T10:48:49","modified_gmt":"2009-08-28T15:48:49","slug":"making-circles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2009\/09\/01\/making-circles\/","title":{"rendered":"Making Circles"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

A lot of what goes on in our faith group seems at first glance to have little to do with religion or magic; it most often is a social activity.\u00a0 It\u2019s not uncommon to call a meeting for no reason other than to get together with people we enjoy being around.\u00a0 In fact, this sort of thing is usually where newcomers get interested in Paganism.\u00a0 For those who have taken on the mantle of the priesthood, this may seem almost frivolous.\u00a0 Why waste time with coffee hours when there\u2019s \u2018real work\u2019 to be done?<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, let\u2019s see\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. First off, these \u2018coffee hours\u2019 are where most of our growth comes from.\u00a0 They provide a safe and interesting place for people who are curious to explore, ask questions, and to judge what kind of people we are.
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Exactly how important is this \u2018real work\u2019 that\u2019s going to keep us from spending time with newcomers?\u00a0 Remember how it was for us when we first became interested?\u00a0 Do you recall the dry mouth and nervous feelings when you first \u2018dared\u2019 to approach someone and ask questions about this weird group?
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Do you realize that a lot of these small gatherings also attract people who are more than willing to take advantage of the people who come to such things?\u00a0 This presents an opportunity to thwart those people before they and their ilk give all of us a really bad name.\u00a0 None of us are \u2018authorities\u2019 concerning our religion, but that\u2019s no reason to stay home or remain silent while Sam Sleaze or Sally Slavedriver milk the wide-eyed for all their worth in the name of our spirituality!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Almost everybody who is now an \u2018old hand\u2019\u00a0in the Pagan world started out as a starry-eyed newbie.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know much of anything and our questions were really kind of \u2018dumb,\u2019\u00a0right?\u00a0 This is how it all began for 99% of us.\u00a0 Thank the gods, somebody was kind enough to give us some answers and suggest something, someone, or somewhere that proved even more interesting for us.\u00a0 And, as they say, one thing led to another\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

    Over the years, I\u2019ve grown to appreciate more and more how I was drawn to Wicca (my particular version of Paganism).\u00a0 Call it fate or luck or the work of the gods, but I was fortunate enough to meet some very wonderful people who spent time with me and answered the really nutty questions I had.\u00a0 That was my path and I\u2019m sure it isn\u2019t exactly<\/em> like anyone else\u2019s path.\u00a0 But it hasn\u2019t been long enough in the past that I don\u2019t remember the trepidation I had or the thousands of questions I wanted answered.\u00a0 I see the same cautious actions and hear the same na\u00efve questions from many who come to festivals for the first time or who enter into the coffee shop discussions each week.<\/span><\/p>\n

    I was surprised a couple of years ago when I was visiting some former coven members who had move to Texas.\u00a0 They took me to one of their local weekly meetings at a small sandwich shop that was open until late at night.\u00a0 The newcomers were almost carbon copies of the people I had met in similar situations in Seattle.\u00a0 The discussions were very familiar with the exception of the Texas drawls and I heard a variety of answers, some of which showed a surprising sophistication and learning from a few who had many more years in Paganism.\u00a0 Since then, I\u2019ve been increasingly aware of some of the nuances and dynamics of these sorts of meetings.\u00a0 What follows are my unscientific observations and unsolicited advice concerning gatherings of this kind.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Although quite a few new people show curiosity, very few will remain interested for more than a couple of meetings.\u00a0 My guess would be about one out of ten will last much more than five or six meetings.\u00a0 Some might find something else that attracts them about our faith group and go there, but most will either go away because we\u2019re either too \u2018normal\u2019 or too \u2018weird\u2019 for them.\u00a0 That\u2019s okay\u2026 don\u2019t push it<\/em>.\u00a0 There\u2019s a really good reason we don\u2019t proselytize: we\u2019d just wind up with people who don\u2019t really share our interests.\u00a0 Of the one-in-ten, there will be an even smaller number who remain interested enough to stick around longer than a year.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be surprised or disappointed by these low numbers; it isn\u2019t a popularity contest\u2026 or at least it shouldn\u2019t be.<\/span><\/p>\n

    There are no DUMB questions<\/span>\u2026<\/em> except the ones that weren\u2019t asked.\u00a0 Anyone new to our community will not have the information base to ask really sophisticated questions.\u00a0 I know that the questions \u2013 and the assumptions behind them \u2013 that I asked at first weren\u2019t very good.\u00a0 But we should try to answer as best we can and then help the person understand what you believe might be a flaw in their understanding (based upon your interpretation of the question). <\/span><\/p>\n

    For a community to grow, you need to go beyond mere acceptance<\/em>, you must learn to enjoy<\/em> and value<\/em> differences.\u00a0 Any group that accepts only a narrow range of opinions will destroy itself.\u00a0 Take a look at Nature: species that have no way for diversity to enter in will be ruined by the first strange factor it encounters.\u00a0 Also, methodology and results aren\u2019t very important; values, goals, and heart are<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Don\u2019t try too hard to control<\/em> the meetings; a little bit of chaos isn\u2019t a bad thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s surprising what can be created by simply sitting back and letting the group reach its own level.\u00a0 If the meeting needs an agenda, fine.\u00a0 But don\u2019t get your hopes up about it all<\/em> going to plan.\u00a0 The best things usually happen by accident.\u00a0 Besides, this is a group of Pagans we\u2019re talking about\u2026 herding cats and all that stuff, y\u2019know.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Anywhere there is a gathering that attracts new people to us, you\u2019ll probably also find folks who are out to find \u2018followers.\u2019 Let me make a clear distinction here.\u00a0 There is a great deal of difference between those who hope to find somebody who will fit well into their own group, someone who will help their group grow<\/em> in spirit and understanding and those who simply wish to add another body to their group for the sake of making it bigger.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it\u2019s not easy for new people to know the difference.\u00a0 Those who are interested in the number of people they can \u2018command\u2019 will often make themselves and their group look pretty appealing to those who aren\u2019t experience.\u00a0 If you know<\/em> that such a person or group is actually dangerous<\/em>, you might<\/em> be justified in trying to keep them away.\u00a0 But be very careful about making such a judgment.\u00a0 Will it \u2018ruin\u2019 a newcomer\u2019s chances of finding a suitable association or group if they go off with this person?\u00a0 Yes, possibly<\/em>.\u00a0 But it\u2019s almost impossible to know.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t presume to know the right or wrong path for another.\u00a0 In all probability, the \u2018right\u2019 people will show up at the \u2018right\u2019 time.\u00a0 Call it karma or fate or whatever you like, but being anxious about gathering \u2018enough\u2019 people is only going to give you problems.\u00a0 Try looking at each person as if they were the very best example of themselves!\u00a0 The gods have made each of us a little different from the rest because any other way would be a crashing bore.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Perhaps the only constant<\/em> in the universe is change.\u00a0 Expect conditions to change and expect people to change.\u00a0 Whatever we do in the local Pagan community will make changes, good or ill, to the entire Pagan scene.\u00a0 Whether we like it or not, those of us who are less \u2018green\u2019 will be viewed as representatives of all of Paganism at any festival or meeting.\u00a0 Everything we say and do will be considered as \u2018typical\u2019 for Pagans by those most who are new to our faith community.\u00a0 Let us offer them the best of us.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A lot of what goes on in our faith group seems at first glance to have little to do with religion or magic; it most often is a social activity.\u00a0 It\u2019s not uncommon to call a meeting for no reason other than to get together with people we enjoy being around.\u00a0 In fact, this sort of thing is usually where newcomers get interested in Paganism.\u00a0 For those who have taken on the mantle of the priesthood, this may seem almost frivolous.\u00a0 Why waste time with coffee hours when there\u2019s \u2018real work\u2019 to be done? Well, let\u2019s see\u2026 First off, these \u2018coffee hours\u2019 are where most of our growth comes from.\u00a0 They provide a safe and interesting place for people who are curious to explore, ask questions, and to judge what kind of people we are. Exactly how important is this \u2018real work\u2019 that\u2019s going to keep us from spending time with newcomers?\u00a0 Remember how it was for us when we first became interested?\u00a0 Do you recall the dry mouth and nervous feelings when you first \u2018dared\u2019 to approach someone and ask questions about this weird group? Do you realize that a lot of these small gatherings also attract people who are more than willing to take advantage of the people who come to such things?\u00a0 This presents an opportunity to thwart those people before they and their ilk give all of us a really bad name.\u00a0 None of us are \u2018authorities\u2019 concerning our religion, but that\u2019s no reason to stay home or remain silent while Sam Sleaze or Sally Slavedriver milk the wide-eyed for all their worth in the name of our spirituality! Almost everybody who is now an \u2018old hand\u2019\u00a0in the Pagan world started out as a starry-eyed newbie.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know much of anything and our questions were really kind of \u2018dumb,\u2019\u00a0right?\u00a0 This is how it all began for 99% of us.\u00a0 Thank the gods, somebody was kind enough to give us some answers and suggest something, someone, or somewhere that proved even more interesting for us.\u00a0 And, as they say, one thing led to another\u2026 Over the years, I\u2019ve grown to appreciate more and more how I was drawn to Wicca (my particular version of Paganism).\u00a0 Call it fate or luck or the work of the gods, but I was fortunate enough to meet some very wonderful people who spent time with me and answered the really nutty questions I had.\u00a0 That was my path and I\u2019m sure it isn\u2019t exactly like anyone else\u2019s path.\u00a0 But it hasn\u2019t been long enough in the past that I don\u2019t remember the trepidation I had or the thousands of questions I wanted answered.\u00a0 I see the same cautious actions and hear the same na\u00efve questions from many who come to festivals for the first time or who enter into the coffee shop discussions each week. I was surprised a couple of years ago when I was visiting some former coven members who had move to Texas.\u00a0 They took me to one of their local weekly meetings at a small sandwich shop that was open until late at night.\u00a0 The newcomers were almost carbon copies of the people I had met in similar situations in Seattle.\u00a0 The discussions were very familiar with the exception of the Texas drawls and I heard a variety of answers, some of which showed a surprising sophistication and learning from a few who had many more years in Paganism.\u00a0 Since then, I\u2019ve been increasingly aware of some of the nuances and dynamics of these sorts of meetings.\u00a0 What follows are my unscientific observations and unsolicited advice concerning gatherings of this kind. Although quite a few new people show curiosity, very few will remain interested for more than a couple of meetings.\u00a0 My guess would be about one out of ten will last much more than five or six meetings.\u00a0 Some might find something else that attracts them about our faith group and go there, but most will either go away because we\u2019re either too \u2018normal\u2019 or too \u2018weird\u2019 for them.\u00a0 That\u2019s okay\u2026 don\u2019t push it.\u00a0 There\u2019s a really good reason we don\u2019t proselytize: we\u2019d just wind up with people who don\u2019t really share our interests.\u00a0 Of the one-in-ten, there will be an even smaller number who remain interested enough to stick around longer than a year.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be surprised or disappointed by these low numbers; it isn\u2019t a popularity contest\u2026 or at least it shouldn\u2019t be. There are no DUMB questions\u2026 except the ones that weren\u2019t asked.\u00a0 Anyone new to our community will not have the information base to ask really sophisticated questions.\u00a0 I know that the questions \u2013 and the assumptions behind them \u2013 that I asked at first weren\u2019t very good.\u00a0 But we should try to answer as best we can and then help the person understand what you believe might be a flaw in their understanding (based upon your interpretation of the question). For a community to grow, you need to go beyond mere acceptance, you must learn to enjoy and value differences.\u00a0 Any group that accepts only a narrow range of opinions will destroy itself.\u00a0 Take a look at Nature: species that have no way for diversity to enter in will be ruined by the first strange factor it encounters.\u00a0 Also, methodology and results aren\u2019t very important; values, goals, and heart are. Don\u2019t try too hard to control the meetings; a little bit of chaos isn\u2019t a bad thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s surprising what can be created by simply sitting back and letting the group reach its own level.\u00a0 If the meeting needs an agenda, fine.\u00a0 But don\u2019t get your hopes up about it all going to plan.\u00a0 The best things usually happen by accident.\u00a0 Besides, this is a group of Pagans we\u2019re talking about\u2026 herding cats and all that stuff, y\u2019know. Anywhere there is a gathering that attracts new people to us, you\u2019ll probably also find folks who are out to find \u2018followers.\u2019 Let me make a clear distinction here.\u00a0 There is a great deal of difference between those who hope to find somebody who will fit well into their own group, someone who will help their group grow in spirit and understanding and those who simply wish to add another body to their group for the sake of making it bigger.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it\u2019s not easy for new people to know the difference.\u00a0 Those who are interested in the number of people they can \u2018command\u2019 will often make themselves and their group look pretty appealing to those who aren\u2019t experience.\u00a0 If you know that such a person or group is actually dangerous, you might be justified in trying to keep them away.\u00a0 But be very careful about making such a judgment.\u00a0 Will it \u2018ruin\u2019 a newcomer\u2019s chances of finding a suitable association or group if they go off with this person?\u00a0 Yes, possibly.\u00a0 But it\u2019s almost impossible to know.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t presume to know the right or wrong path for another.\u00a0 In all probability, the \u2018right\u2019 people will show up at the \u2018right\u2019 time.\u00a0 Call it karma or fate or whatever you like, but being anxious about gathering \u2018enough\u2019 people is only going to give you problems.\u00a0 Try looking at each person as if they were the very best example of themselves!\u00a0 The gods have made each of us a little different from the rest because any other way would be a crashing bore. Perhaps the only constant in the universe is change.\u00a0 Expect conditions to change and expect people to change.\u00a0 Whatever we do in the local Pagan community will make changes, good or ill, to the entire Pagan scene.\u00a0 Whether we like it or not, those of us who are less \u2018green\u2019 will be viewed as representatives of all of Paganism at any festival or meeting.\u00a0 Everything we say and do will be considered as \u2018typical\u2019 for Pagans by those most who are new to our faith community.\u00a0 Let us offer them the best of us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}