{"id":2577,"date":"2009-10-01T01:10:40","date_gmt":"2009-10-01T06:10:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=2630"},"modified":"2009-10-01T10:29:56","modified_gmt":"2009-10-01T15:29:56","slug":"pagan-parenting-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2009\/10\/01\/pagan-parenting-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Pagan Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thoughts on the Village in Paganism<\/strong><\/p>\n

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child\u2026. this proverb, saying, clich\u00e9 is often bandied about in society.\u00a0 While the origins of the saying are debatable, the meaning behind the term is one that I have always thought to be important.\u00a0 As parents and as pagans how does this philosophy apply to our lives?\u00a0 And do we practice it or should we even practice it?<\/p>\n

As humans evolved we lived in groups to ensure survival.\u00a0 Our societal structure was vastly different from how it is today.\u00a0 We hunted, gathered, ate together, lived together.\u00a0 Our living was done in units.\u00a0 The women and men probably broke off into groups at times to accomplish various goals.\u00a0 The women and children worked together during the days.\u00a0 This type of living arraignment lent itself to the concept of the village raising the children.\u00a0 Parents we primary but care was most likely derived from the most available adult or older child.\u00a0 The group watched out for everyone.\u00a0 Exactly how the tribe disciplined or raised the children and what values were instilled is not something we can know for sure but the communal aspect was no doubt the means of survival.\u00a0 To be alone as a single nuclear family was unheard of.<\/p>\n

In my mind I tend to idealize this method of living.\u00a0 It seems so reassuring to think of being around many women in various life stages.\u00a0 Tanning hides, drying fish, sewing clothing.\u00a0 Children are running around, all being watched, observed, and cared for.\u00a0 Some are still nursing, some are entering puberty, some are about to join the men and come of age.\u00a0 These children would experience adult interaction very differently from our own.\u00a0\u00a0 And there is no doubt that the biological parents of the children would view their kids differently from how we see ours today.<\/p>\n

Fast forward millions of years and here we are, living in our separate dwellings, supporting ourselves with one or two parents working.\u00a0 How can we apply the concept of children being raised by the village into our lives as pagans?\u00a0 Many facets of our community divide the ones with children and the ones without into separate categories.\u00a0 People without children, whether by choice or by circumstance can be reluctant to be around kids.\u00a0 Kids can be loud, disruptive and distracting.\u00a0\u00a0 Pagans with children often expect their kids to be included in every event, can let them run amuck and not admit that their child is the one in the wrong.\u00a0 And so we have two warring factions, both accusatory, neither thinking communally with a village mindset.\u00a0 After all there was never a village that only contained the childless or only had parents.\u00a0 Everyone lived together.\u00a0\u00a0 Despite the fact that our communities are not looking at communal living as the norm for every day and we experience community in small doses at festivals, rituals, etc. we still can not seem to be respectful at many events.\u00a0 We need to rethink our mindsets.\u00a0 We need to remember in our bones what it was to be a tribe.<\/p>\n

\u201cChildren need the attention and encouragement of many adults, not just their parents.\u00a0 Adults who may not have children of their own still need to feel connected to the next generation.\u201d pp. 284, Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions<\/p>\n

Most parents will say that they don\u2019t want another person disciplining their child.\u00a0 We feel the need to control the guidance that our children receive.\u00a0 Of course it is our job to protect them and keep them from abuse or harmful people.\u00a0 But does it hurt our children to learn to interact with others and hear their means of communicating lessons?\u00a0 Most parents put our kids into school or classes where teachers will be given the authority to enforce discipline.\u00a0 Is that different from a family friend or coven member giving your child guidance when they may be acting inappropriately?\u00a0 A perfect stranger may even offer words that are appropriate to a situation.<\/p>\n

This summer while at the beach my toddler was playing in the sectioned off area for young children.\u00a0 Some older boys, the youngest being at least 10, were throwing handfuls of sand at each other and having a blast.\u00a0 The younger preschoolers were of course getting in their way and I worried that one could be knocked over or hit with sand.\u00a0 I looked around trying to place parents to these boys but no one seemed to be watching them, so I made a judgment call.\u00a0 Politely but firmly I asked the boys to move their game to another section of the beach that was away from the little kids.\u00a0 At first they thought that I wanted them to stop altogether and they seemed taken aback.\u00a0 But I explained to them that they could move to another area that was away from the little ones.\u00a0 They saw the logic and moved over.\u00a0 There was no disrespect involved and they were obviously very thoughtful boys.\u00a0 I would consider that act one of parenting in the village style, respecting the game that the older boys were enjoying, while protecting the smaller kids who could not protect themselves.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause Pagan communities are generally small and far flung, support and congregation has been minimal\u2026but as more of us have children, and especially as children almost dominate the population at many pagan events it is time to reorder our priorities as though we actually were a clan, a tradition, and a cohesive culture, if that\u2019s what we think we are or would like to be.\u201d pp. 283, Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions<\/p>\n

If we prefer the nuclear family model as it is today across North America and many parts of Western society then we need not take much about \u201cit takes a village\u2026\u201d seriously.\u00a0\u00a0 We can go about our lives, raising our children in slight isolation from a larger community of similar minds.\u00a0 Or we can strive to build a community of many layers that offers the youngest and most impressionable members of society a place where multiple adults are considered their guides.\u00a0 The primary role of guardian will always be with the parents, but we can offer children a glory of knowledge by letting others, who we trust and sometimes who just happen to be there in the moment, teach them about how it is to be human and what it means to live as a clan.<\/p>\n

As always you can reach me at stonegirl1177 AT yahoo DOT ca with comments or questions.\u00a0 Or you can visit my blog at http:\/\/chasingdomesticbliss.blogspot.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thoughts on the Village in Paganism It Takes a Village to Raise a Child\u2026. this proverb, saying, clich\u00e9 is often bandied about in society.\u00a0 While the origins of the saying are debatable, the meaning behind the term is one that I have always thought to be important.\u00a0 As parents and as pagans how does this philosophy apply to our lives?\u00a0 And do we practice it or should we even practice it? As humans evolved we lived in groups to ensure survival.\u00a0 Our societal structure was vastly different from how it is today.\u00a0 We hunted, gathered, ate together, lived together.\u00a0 Our living was done in units.\u00a0 The women and men probably broke off into groups at times to accomplish various goals.\u00a0 The women and children worked together during the days.\u00a0 This type of living arraignment lent itself to the concept of the village raising the children.\u00a0 Parents we primary but care was most likely derived from the most available adult or older child.\u00a0 The group watched out for everyone.\u00a0 Exactly how the tribe disciplined or raised the children and what values were instilled is not something we can know for sure but the communal aspect was no doubt the means of survival.\u00a0 To be alone as a single nuclear family was unheard of. In my mind I tend to idealize this method of living.\u00a0 It seems so reassuring to think of being around many women in various life stages.\u00a0 Tanning hides, drying fish, sewing clothing.\u00a0 Children are running around, all being watched, observed, and cared for.\u00a0 Some are still nursing, some are entering puberty, some are about to join the men and come of age.\u00a0 These children would experience adult interaction very differently from our own.\u00a0\u00a0 And there is no doubt that the biological parents of the children would view their kids differently from how we see ours today. Fast forward millions of years and here we are, living in our separate dwellings, supporting ourselves with one or two parents working.\u00a0 How can we apply the concept of children being raised by the village into our lives as pagans?\u00a0 Many facets of our community divide the ones with children and the ones without into separate categories.\u00a0 People without children, whether by choice or by circumstance can be reluctant to be around kids.\u00a0 Kids can be loud, disruptive and distracting.\u00a0\u00a0 Pagans with children often expect their kids to be included in every event, can let them run amuck and not admit that their child is the one in the wrong.\u00a0 And so we have two warring factions, both accusatory, neither thinking communally with a village mindset.\u00a0 After all there was never a village that only contained the childless or only had parents.\u00a0 Everyone lived together.\u00a0\u00a0 Despite the fact that our communities are not looking at communal living as the norm for every day and we experience community in small doses at festivals, rituals, etc. we still can not seem to be respectful at many events.\u00a0 We need to rethink our mindsets.\u00a0 We need to remember in our bones what it was to be a tribe. \u201cChildren need the attention and encouragement of many adults, not just their parents.\u00a0 Adults who may not have children of their own still need to feel connected to the next generation.\u201d pp. 284, Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions Most parents will say that they don\u2019t want another person disciplining their child.\u00a0 We feel the need to control the guidance that our children receive.\u00a0 Of course it is our job to protect them and keep them from abuse or harmful people.\u00a0 But does it hurt our children to learn to interact with others and hear their means of communicating lessons?\u00a0 Most parents put our kids into school or classes where teachers will be given the authority to enforce discipline.\u00a0 Is that different from a family friend or coven member giving your child guidance when they may be acting inappropriately?\u00a0 A perfect stranger may even offer words that are appropriate to a situation. This summer while at the beach my toddler was playing in the sectioned off area for young children.\u00a0 Some older boys, the youngest being at least 10, were throwing handfuls of sand at each other and having a blast.\u00a0 The younger preschoolers were of course getting in their way and I worried that one could be knocked over or hit with sand.\u00a0 I looked around trying to place parents to these boys but no one seemed to be watching them, so I made a judgment call.\u00a0 Politely but firmly I asked the boys to move their game to another section of the beach that was away from the little kids.\u00a0 At first they thought that I wanted them to stop altogether and they seemed taken aback.\u00a0 But I explained to them that they could move to another area that was away from the little ones.\u00a0 They saw the logic and moved over.\u00a0 There was no disrespect involved and they were obviously very thoughtful boys.\u00a0 I would consider that act one of parenting in the village style, respecting the game that the older boys were enjoying, while protecting the smaller kids who could not protect themselves. \u201cBecause Pagan communities are generally small and far flung, support and congregation has been minimal\u2026but as more of us have children, and especially as children almost dominate the population at many pagan events it is time to reorder our priorities as though we actually were a clan, a tradition, and a cohesive culture, if that\u2019s what we think we are or would like to be.\u201d pp. 283, Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions If we prefer the nuclear family model as it is today across North America and many parts of Western society then we need not take much about \u201cit takes a village\u2026\u201d seriously.\u00a0\u00a0 We can go about our lives, raising our children in slight isolation from a larger community of similar minds.\u00a0 Or we can strive to build a community of many layers that offers the youngest and most impressionable members of society a place where multiple adults are considered their guides.\u00a0 The primary role of guardian will always be with the parents, but we can offer children a glory of knowledge by letting others, who we trust and sometimes who just happen to be there in the moment, teach them about how it is to be human and what it means to live as a clan. As always you can reach me at stonegirl1177 AT yahoo DOT ca with comments or questions.\u00a0 Or you can visit my blog at http:\/\/chasingdomesticbliss.blogspot.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/72"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2577"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2577\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2525,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2577\/revisions\/2525"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}