{"id":4129,"date":"2010-09-01T01:10:57","date_gmt":"2010-09-01T06:10:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=4186"},"modified":"2010-08-27T14:32:42","modified_gmt":"2010-08-27T19:32:42","slug":"pagan-parenting-13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2010\/09\/01\/pagan-parenting-13\/","title":{"rendered":"Pagan Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Competitive Pagan = Competitive Parent?<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Recently I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about competitive people, especially when it comes to parenting and paganism.\u00a0 Whether in your coven, circle or class we are faced with competitive people in our spiritual domain as well as the domestic\/mundane one.<\/p>\n

Not being very competitive for the most part I\u2019ve found that being a parent has brought out that shred of doubt in me.\u00a0\u00a0 When I encounter another child at the playground that can already tie his shoes and my child of the same age hasn\u2019t even attempted to try yet, there is a little pang for me.\u00a0 A slight, oh, man should I be teaching my kid this?\u00a0 Are they going to be lagging behind for not being able to do this already?\u00a0 Wise ones have said to me in these times of doubt: Can the other child do this yet, like your child?\u00a0 And usually the answer is, no.\u00a0 That way of putting things into perspective has been invaluable to me.\u00a0 No child is perfect, no child is better than another.\u00a0 They all have their own time and place to learn and we must simply be there to help and guide them.<\/p>\n

In the pagan arena I\u2019ve felt little of the same pangs of competition.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mind if you\u2019ve reached your 3rd<\/sup> degree faster, dried lavender and written a chant this week and I haven\u2019t even managed to have a morning meditation.\u00a0 The spiritual journey is specific to the individual to me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not trying to be pagan of the year.\u00a0 I just want to be true to my path.\u00a0 A little competition isn\u2019t always a bad thing though.\u00a0 Reading about what other witches are trying these days, seeing examples of artwork dedicated to their gods, altars created for a season or books read for self exploration are inspirational.\u00a0 A pang of hey, why aren\u2019t I doing that, is good for you.\u00a0 It is motivating and helps to keep your desires for your own path on track.<\/p>\n

An extreme can develop in some people regarding parenting, paganism or anything really that is alarming to me.\u00a0 Motives become only about competition and not about your child\u2019s journey or your own.\u00a0 You start to do things because the mother you most admire at your family coven does them like that.\u00a0 You feel the need to be better, more pagan, more like a super mom than a real mom.\u00a0 Because let\u2019s face it no one is capable of being everything at one time.\u00a0 Often we project ideals on to those we admire and think that they are accomplishing more than us.\u00a0 Deep down though they probably have similar feelings of incompetence and are pushing themselves too hard, trying to be too much.<\/p>\n

My philosophy of parenting and being a pagan is about honouring where I am in the moment and trying to accept what I can do.\u00a0 My priority at this point is being a parent.\u00a0 It is my full time job.\u00a0 My spiritual life is secondary and I have accepted that for now.\u00a0 Young children require energy and time.\u00a0 I\u2019m not capable of taking a class with a pagan leader or dedicating myself to a tradition.\u00a0 I could try and do this but something would lag.\u00a0 Something would fall through the cracks and my son is too important for me to risk.<\/p>\n

The moral to this story is that support and sharing of our doubts is an important step towards keeping competition out of our spiritual practice and our parenting.\u00a0 I won\u2019t judge you for not having time to bring a snack for after the ritual, if you won\u2019t judge my daughter for not knowing her ABC\u2019s yet.\u00a0 Let\u2019s give each other the benefit of the doubt.\u00a0 Let\u2019s live in a community that embraces each individual\u2019s journey to self.\u00a0 That way we can leave the competitive feelings where they belong, in the boardroom or on the sports field.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Competitive Pagan = Competitive Parent? Recently I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about competitive people, especially when it comes to parenting and paganism.\u00a0 Whether in your coven, circle or class we are faced with competitive people in our spiritual domain as well as the domestic\/mundane one. Not being very competitive for the most part I\u2019ve found that being a parent has brought out that shred of doubt in me.\u00a0\u00a0 When I encounter another child at the playground that can already tie his shoes and my child of the same age hasn\u2019t even attempted to try yet, there is a little pang for me.\u00a0 A slight, oh, man should I be teaching my kid this?\u00a0 Are they going to be lagging behind for not being able to do this already?\u00a0 Wise ones have said to me in these times of doubt: Can the other child do this yet, like your child?\u00a0 And usually the answer is, no.\u00a0 That way of putting things into perspective has been invaluable to me.\u00a0 No child is perfect, no child is better than another.\u00a0 They all have their own time and place to learn and we must simply be there to help and guide them. In the pagan arena I\u2019ve felt little of the same pangs of competition.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mind if you\u2019ve reached your 3rd degree faster, dried lavender and written a chant this week and I haven\u2019t even managed to have a morning meditation.\u00a0 The spiritual journey is specific to the individual to me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not trying to be pagan of the year.\u00a0 I just want to be true to my path.\u00a0 A little competition isn\u2019t always a bad thing though.\u00a0 Reading about what other witches are trying these days, seeing examples of artwork dedicated to their gods, altars created for a season or books read for self exploration are inspirational.\u00a0 A pang of hey, why aren\u2019t I doing that, is good for you.\u00a0 It is motivating and helps to keep your desires for your own path on track. An extreme can develop in some people regarding parenting, paganism or anything really that is alarming to me.\u00a0 Motives become only about competition and not about your child\u2019s journey or your own.\u00a0 You start to do things because the mother you most admire at your family coven does them like that.\u00a0 You feel the need to be better, more pagan, more like a super mom than a real mom.\u00a0 Because let\u2019s face it no one is capable of being everything at one time.\u00a0 Often we project ideals on to those we admire and think that they are accomplishing more than us.\u00a0 Deep down though they probably have similar feelings of incompetence and are pushing themselves too hard, trying to be too much. My philosophy of parenting and being a pagan is about honouring where I am in the moment and trying to accept what I can do.\u00a0 My priority at this point is being a parent.\u00a0 It is my full time job.\u00a0 My spiritual life is secondary and I have accepted that for now.\u00a0 Young children require energy and time.\u00a0 I\u2019m not capable of taking a class with a pagan leader or dedicating myself to a tradition.\u00a0 I could try and do this but something would lag.\u00a0 Something would fall through the cracks and my son is too important for me to risk. The moral to this story is that support and sharing of our doubts is an important step towards keeping competition out of our spiritual practice and our parenting.\u00a0 I won\u2019t judge you for not having time to bring a snack for after the ritual, if you won\u2019t judge my daughter for not knowing her ABC\u2019s yet.\u00a0 Let\u2019s give each other the benefit of the doubt.\u00a0 Let\u2019s live in a community that embraces each individual\u2019s journey to self.\u00a0 That way we can leave the competitive feelings where they belong, in the boardroom or on the sports field.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/72"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}