{"id":7220,"date":"2012-12-01T01:10:20","date_gmt":"2012-12-01T06:10:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paganpages.org\/content\/?p=7496"},"modified":"2012-11-02T20:27:49","modified_gmt":"2012-11-03T01:27:49","slug":"short-story-last-journey-to-a-star","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paganpages.org\/emagazine\/2012\/12\/01\/short-story-last-journey-to-a-star\/","title":{"rendered":"Short Story: Last Journey to a Star"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last Journey to a Star<\/strong><\/p>\n

The signal stirred Silvana suddenly into awareness in the dim interior of the ship.\u00a0 There was the red of the forward sensor, glowing faintly to the right of its portal.\u00a0 Angus tended it as usual, the throb of the glow bouncing off his angular cheekbones.\u00a0 Through the port, still far ahead down the endless dark corridor of night, a single point of reddish light shone dimly.\u00a0 Silvana rolled her facets and looked out the rear port.\u00a0 There was nothing back there now, maybe the faintest suggestion of light, but no, really nothing.\u00a0 The rear sensor was dead.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt went?\u00a0 When did it go away?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you activate me?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Angus shrugged mentally, and she felt the electric signal, so familiar from him.\u00a0 He spoke, and his speech, like hers, consisted of electrical impulses.\u00a0 While he spoke, he continued to tend the energy sensor, opening and shutting circuits, all by electrical impulse, his face as fixed towards the machine as that was fixed towards the red dot that still lay far ahead of them.\u00a0 \u201cThree cycles ago.\u00a0 It imploded, right on schedule.\u00a0 Arnhelm was on the rear sensor.\u00a0 He closed the port for the mass release.\u00a0 It hit, and we\u2019re riding the momentum.\u00a0 Then he took the side sensors, your sensors, and steered.\u00a0 But he was beat and deactivated.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been out for quite a while; time you got back on the helm.\u00a0 Take some fixes on the side stars and steer; we\u2019re veering a little off-course.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silvana got on the side sensors.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I would have liked to have seen it go.\u00a0 It was our star.\u201d\u00a0 There was an almost wistful undertone to her current: she all but sighed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She knew what he would pulse next, and he pulsed it:\u00a0 \u201cWaste of energy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the rear corner of the ship to the left, in the deeper shadows, Arnhelm lay still and silent.\u00a0 Silvana surveyed his angular form for a couple of moments, then sent Angus an inquiry.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLast cycle.\u00a0 He\u2019s all right, just done in.\u00a0 Let him lay, let him lay.\u201d\u00a0 Angus relapsed into a sort of sing-song, his usually silent accompaniment to his lone vigil at the forward port.\u00a0 He was the forward sensor, and hadn\u2019t deactivated since they\u2019d started, how many cycles ago?\u00a0 \u201cHe may as well save energy.\u00a0 Rear sensor\u2019s useless now, no more energy back there.\u00a0 I\u2019ve reopened the port, but you can see for yourself it\u2019s dark.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silvana wanted to say \u201cI could spell you<\/em> for a while,\u201d but she knew it was useless.\u00a0 In a way, he was<\/em> the forward sensor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Angus seemed to have heard her thought.\u00a0 \u201cHe can spell you on the helm in a cycle or two.\u201d\u00a0 Could he read her private circuit?\u00a0 She decided he couldn\u2019t, he was just pulsing. \u00a0Flushed with the reddish glow of the forward sensor, he pulsed to them all the time, pulsing silently to himself when they were out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silvana got her fixes on the side star and adjusted the side sensors to pick up minute packets of energy so they could steer, stay on course.\u00a0 The ship was polygonal forward and aft but cylindrical amidships, with two series of side sensors set on separate rolling tracks that circled the cylinder like calibration rings.\u00a0 These were useful in the days when there were a number of stars scattered here and there and the sensors needed to be flexibly repositioned to pick up their radiation.\u00a0 Now there was a red eye overhead and another below, down to the right.\u00a0 Silvana hadn\u2019t revolved the sensor rings after the first few cycles of their journey, only making slight adjustments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They grew silent, forward and side sensor mesmerized by the red dot in the forward distance.\u00a0 Arnhelm stayed out in his dark corner, an amber light flickering there to indicate he was receiving energy from the forward sensor.\u00a0 So strange to see him so silent, Silvana thought.\u00a0 Arnhelm was usually full of questions, but Angus always cut him short.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot enough energy for memory now,\u201d Angus reproved him.\u00a0 \u201cTime will tell.\u00a0 Wait till we get there.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Angus didn\u2019t have to indicate the star far ahead of them.\u00a0 They all knew what there <\/em>\u00a0meant: abundant energy again, reawakening long-term memory circuits too wasteful to use now.\u00a0 But Arnhelm switched them on from time to time, just for a moment here and there, and of course this multiplied his questions.\u00a0 Had they been with the old star long?\u00a0 Were there really more stars at one time?\u00a0 And as he asked, he kept looking at Silvana, as though she had the answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo more questions,\u201d said Angus.\u00a0 \u201cWaste of energy.\u201d\u00a0 Perhaps he alone remembered, sitting at the forward sensor for thirty or more cycles now, always with the greatest share of forward energy from there<\/em>.\u00a0 But if he did, he wasn\u2019t pulsing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few cycles passed this way, in the quiet dark,\u00a0 Arnhelm and Silvana trading shifts on the helm but pulsing little.\u00a0 Then, shortly after Arnhelm went out again and she was taking a fix on the overhead star, it suddenly changed.\u00a0 There was a short burst of reddish light – Silvana hastily closed the overhead sensors – and then it reversed and sucked itself into darkness.\u00a0 The ship veered a little below its course, but opening extra sensors towards the remaining eye – the one below and to the right – provided the necessary correction and in time put them back on course.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Only now, of course, they couldn\u2019t steer, except in one direction.\u00a0 The side sensors were useless.\u00a0 Angus told her to shut them off and close the ports.\u00a0 There was one window now on the universe, and in its center was a red sun that was no longer a mere dot on blackness but beginning to swell to a pill.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d pulsed Angus.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re in its pull now.\u00a0 You can knock off if you want to.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Silvana didn\u2019t want to.\u00a0 She wanted to pulse.\u00a0 \u201cHow do we brake, when we get there<\/em> ?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Angus did not mind practical questions.\u00a0 They saved energy in the long run.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll use the side star for braking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would have been better to have two of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would have.\u201d\u00a0 Angus rarely sounded uncertain.\u00a0 Silvana realized the overhead star had burst too soon.\u00a0 The red light cracked around his cheekbones. \u201cIt will take some fancy tacking.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThen, we spin into orbit around the new star.\u00a0 As before.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAs with the old star?\u201d\u00a0 Keep pulsing to me, Angus, she thought.\u00a0 I want to remember<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 As with the old star.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWere there many more stars then?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Angus rolled his facets towards her.\u00a0 Red light glanced off the angle of his cheekbones.\u00a0 \u201cYes, quite a sprinkling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs many as seventeen?\u00a0 I remember counting them once.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, forty or fifty.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cForty or fifty!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Arnhelm stirred a little in his dark corner.\u00a0 He seemed to be listening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWere we with the old star a long time ?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d pulsed Angus.\u00a0 \u201cFor many many cycles.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd before that?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Angus paused a while.\u00a0 Then he rolled his facets back to the forward sensor again, his triangle of eyes reacquiring their fanatic gleam.\u00a0 \u201cWait,\u201d he pulsed.\u00a0 \u201cWait till we get there.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was not long to wait.\u00a0 Every cycle the reddish light grew, and presently became a discernible disk.\u00a0 In the bath of radiation Arnhelm finally stirred.\u00a0 Silvana rolled her facets towards him, and he pulsed:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And, as usual, she pulsed back:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This had no meaning, but they had always done it.\u00a0 Then Silvana let him access her recent memory, the pulsations with Angus, the loss of the overhead star.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do we do that?\u201d\u00a0 Arnhelm pulsed.\u00a0 Silvana was silent.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo many things,\u201d he went on, \u201cI don\u2019t understand anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWait,\u201d she pulsed back.\u00a0 \u201cWait till we get there<\/em>.\u00a0 There will be enough energy then for remembering.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWill there be enough?\u201d he responded.\u00a0 \u201cI have so many questions.\u00a0 Sometimes I remember things.\u00a0 Colors we don\u2019t see anymore.\u00a0 I remember blue, and green.\u00a0 I remember there was a lot of green.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGreen stars?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not stars.\u00a0 Some other place, like the ship.\u00a0 But open.\u00a0 Blue overhead, blue sky, not black.\u00a0 A yellow star.\u00a0 And green all around, but not stars.\u00a0 Something else, something different.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Some tender current made Silvana pulse: \u201cThere will be energy.\u00a0 Energy enough to remember.\u00a0 Be patient, dear.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDear?\u201d\u00a0 Arnhelm grew silent again.\u00a0 He seemed to have deactivated, to have gone out again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silvana thought and wondered.\u00a0 Dear?\u00a0 What had she meant?\u00a0 She tried to remember, but it slipped away from her.\u00a0 Not enough energy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wait, she thought to herself.\u00a0 Wait till we get there. <\/em>\u00a0Then we will know what dear<\/em> meant.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She had energy, but, like Arnhelm, she went out for a cycle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silent, his many-faceted head reflecting the reddish light of the forward star and its energy seeping from the forward sensor, Angus continued his agelong vigil, unaware that he was lonely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*******<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A small polygonal vessel braked into orbit around an aging red dwarf star.\u00a0 Apart from one red dot, it was the last star in this part of the universe, perhaps in the universe as a whole.\u00a0 Inside the ship, three intelligent crystals stirred into electrical activation.\u00a0 If they could have stretched themselves, they would have done so, luxuriantly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Arnhelm rolled his facets towards Silvana and pulsed: \u2018\u2018?\u201d\u00a0 And she answered him: \u201c!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI remember now,\u201d he pulsed to her.\u00a0 \u201cI remember what dear <\/em>meant.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silvana looked at him for a long time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last Journey to a Star The signal stirred Silvana suddenly into awareness in the dim interior of the ship.\u00a0 There was the red of the forward sensor, glowing faintly to the right of its portal.\u00a0 Angus tended it as usual, the throb of the glow bouncing off his angular cheekbones.\u00a0 Through the port, still far ahead down the endless dark corridor of night, a single point of reddish light shone dimly.\u00a0 Silvana rolled her facets and looked out the rear port.\u00a0 There was nothing back there now, maybe the faintest suggestion of light, but no, really nothing.\u00a0 The rear sensor was dead.   \u201cIt went?\u00a0 When did it go away?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you activate me?\u201d   Angus shrugged mentally, and she felt the electric signal, so familiar from him.\u00a0 He spoke, and his speech, like hers, consisted of electrical impulses.\u00a0 While he spoke, he continued to tend the energy sensor, opening and shutting circuits, all by electrical impulse, his face as fixed towards the machine as that was fixed towards the red dot that still lay far ahead of them.\u00a0 \u201cThree cycles ago.\u00a0 It imploded, right on schedule.\u00a0 Arnhelm was on the rear sensor.\u00a0 He closed the port for the mass release.\u00a0 It hit, and we\u2019re riding the momentum.\u00a0 Then he took the side sensors, your sensors, and steered.\u00a0 But he was beat and deactivated.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been out for quite a while; time you got back on the helm.\u00a0 Take some fixes on the side stars and steer; we\u2019re veering a little off-course.\u201d   Silvana got on the side sensors.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I would have liked to have seen it go.\u00a0 It was our star.\u201d\u00a0 There was an almost wistful undertone to her current: she all but sighed.   She knew what he would pulse next, and he pulsed it:\u00a0 \u201cWaste of energy.\u201d   In the rear corner of the ship to the left, in the deeper shadows, Arnhelm lay still and silent.\u00a0 Silvana surveyed his angular form for a couple of moments, then sent Angus an inquiry.   \u201c?\u201d   \u201cLast cycle.\u00a0 He\u2019s all right, just done in.\u00a0 Let him lay, let him lay.\u201d\u00a0 Angus relapsed into a sort of sing-song, his usually silent accompaniment to his lone vigil at the forward port.\u00a0 He was the forward sensor, and hadn\u2019t deactivated since they\u2019d started, how many cycles ago?\u00a0 \u201cHe may as well save energy.\u00a0 Rear sensor\u2019s useless now, no more energy back there.\u00a0 I\u2019ve reopened the port, but you can see for yourself it\u2019s dark.\u201d   Silvana wanted to say \u201cI could spell you for a while,\u201d but she knew it was useless.\u00a0 In a way, he was the forward sensor.   Angus seemed to have heard her thought.\u00a0 \u201cHe can spell you on the helm in a cycle or two.\u201d\u00a0 Could he read her private circuit?\u00a0 She decided he couldn\u2019t, he was just pulsing. \u00a0Flushed with the reddish glow of the forward sensor, he pulsed to them all the time, pulsing silently to himself when they were out.   Silvana got her fixes on the side star and adjusted the side sensors to pick up minute packets of energy so they could steer, stay on course.\u00a0 The ship was polygonal forward and aft but cylindrical amidships, with two series of side sensors set on separate rolling tracks that circled the cylinder like calibration rings.\u00a0 These were useful in the days when there were a number of stars scattered here and there and the sensors needed to be flexibly repositioned to pick up their radiation.\u00a0 Now there was a red eye overhead and another below, down to the right.\u00a0 Silvana hadn\u2019t revolved the sensor rings after the first few cycles of their journey, only making slight adjustments.   They grew silent, forward and side sensor mesmerized by the red dot in the forward distance.\u00a0 Arnhelm stayed out in his dark corner, an amber light flickering there to indicate he was receiving energy from the forward sensor.\u00a0 So strange to see him so silent, Silvana thought.\u00a0 Arnhelm was usually full of questions, but Angus always cut him short.   \u201cNot enough energy for memory now,\u201d Angus reproved him.\u00a0 \u201cTime will tell.\u00a0 Wait till we get there.\u201d   Angus didn\u2019t have to indicate the star far ahead of them.\u00a0 They all knew what there \u00a0meant: abundant energy again, reawakening long-term memory circuits too wasteful to use now.\u00a0 But Arnhelm switched them on from time to time, just for a moment here and there, and of course this multiplied his questions.\u00a0 Had they been with the old star long?\u00a0 Were there really more stars at one time?\u00a0 And as he asked, he kept looking at Silvana, as though she had the answer.   \u201cNo more questions,\u201d said Angus.\u00a0 \u201cWaste of energy.\u201d\u00a0 Perhaps he alone remembered, sitting at the forward sensor for thirty or more cycles now, always with the greatest share of forward energy from there.\u00a0 But if he did, he wasn\u2019t pulsing.   A few cycles passed this way, in the quiet dark,\u00a0 Arnhelm and Silvana trading shifts on the helm but pulsing little.\u00a0 Then, shortly after Arnhelm went out again and she was taking a fix on the overhead star, it suddenly changed.\u00a0 There was a short burst of reddish light – Silvana hastily closed the overhead sensors – and then it reversed and sucked itself into darkness.\u00a0 The ship veered a little below its course, but opening extra sensors towards the remaining eye – the one below and to the right – provided the necessary correction and in time put them back on course.   Only now, of course, they couldn\u2019t steer, except in one direction.\u00a0 The side sensors were useless.\u00a0 Angus told her to shut them off and close the ports.\u00a0 There was one window now on the universe, and in its center was a red sun that was no longer a mere dot on blackness but beginning to swell to a pill.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d pulsed Angus.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re in its pull now.\u00a0 You can knock off if you want to.\u201d   But Silvana didn\u2019t want to.\u00a0 She wanted to pulse.\u00a0 \u201cHow do we brake, when we get there ?\u201d   Angus did not mind practical questions.\u00a0 They saved energy in the long run.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll use the side star for braking.\u201d   \u201cIt would have been better to have two of them.\u201d   \u201cIt would have.\u201d\u00a0 Angus rarely sounded uncertain.\u00a0 Silvana realized the overhead star had burst too soon.\u00a0 The red light cracked around his cheekbones. \u201cIt will take some fancy tacking.\u201d   \u201cAnd then?\u201d   \u201cThen, we spin into orbit around the new star.\u00a0 As before.\u201d   \u201cAs with the old star?\u201d\u00a0 Keep pulsing to me, Angus, she thought.\u00a0 I want to remember.   \u201cYes.\u00a0 As with the old star.\u201d   \u201cWere there many more stars then?\u201d   Angus rolled his facets towards her.\u00a0 Red light glanced off the angle of his cheekbones.\u00a0 \u201cYes, quite a sprinkling.\u201d \u201cAs many as seventeen?\u00a0 I remember counting them once.\u201d   \u201cOh, forty or fifty.\u201d   \u201cForty or fifty!\u201d   Arnhelm stirred a little in his dark corner.\u00a0 He seemed to be listening.   \u201cWere we with the old star a long time ?\u201d   \u201cYes,\u201d pulsed Angus.\u00a0 \u201cFor many many cycles.\u201d   \u201cAnd before that?\u201d   Angus paused a while.\u00a0 Then he rolled his facets back to the forward sensor again, his triangle of eyes reacquiring their fanatic gleam.\u00a0 \u201cWait,\u201d he pulsed.\u00a0 \u201cWait till we get there.\u201d   There was not long to wait.\u00a0 Every cycle the reddish light grew, and presently became a discernible disk.\u00a0 In the bath of radiation Arnhelm finally stirred.\u00a0 Silvana rolled her facets towards him, and he pulsed:   \u201c?\u201d   And, as usual, she pulsed back:   \u201c!\u201d   This had no meaning, but they had always done it.\u00a0 Then Silvana let him access her recent memory, the pulsations with Angus, the loss of the overhead star.   \u201cWhy do we do that?\u201d\u00a0 Arnhelm pulsed.\u00a0 Silvana was silent.   \u201cSo many things,\u201d he went on, \u201cI don\u2019t understand anymore.\u201d   \u201cWait,\u201d she pulsed back.\u00a0 \u201cWait till we get there.\u00a0 There will be enough energy then for remembering.\u201d   \u201cWill there be enough?\u201d he responded.\u00a0 \u201cI have so many questions.\u00a0 Sometimes I remember things.\u00a0 Colors we don\u2019t see anymore.\u00a0 I remember blue, and green.\u00a0 I remember there was a lot of green.\u201d   \u201cGreen stars?\u201d   \u201cNo, not stars.\u00a0 Some other place, like the ship.\u00a0 But open.\u00a0 Blue overhead, blue sky, not black.\u00a0 A yellow star.\u00a0 And green all around, but not stars.\u00a0 Something else, something different.\u201d   Some tender current made Silvana pulse: \u201cThere will be energy.\u00a0 Energy enough to remember.\u00a0 Be patient, dear.\u201d   \u201cDear?\u201d\u00a0 Arnhelm grew silent again.\u00a0 He seemed to have deactivated, to have gone out again.   Silvana thought and wondered.\u00a0 Dear?\u00a0 What had she meant?\u00a0 She tried to remember, but it slipped away from her.\u00a0 Not enough energy.   Wait, she thought to herself.\u00a0 Wait till we get there. \u00a0Then we will know what dear meant.   She had energy, but, like Arnhelm, she went out for a cycle.   Silent, his many-faceted head reflecting the reddish light of the forward star and its energy seeping from the forward sensor, Angus continued his agelong vigil, unaware that he was lonely.   *******   A small polygonal vessel braked into orbit around an aging red dwarf star.\u00a0 Apart from one red dot, it was the last star in this part of the universe, perhaps in the universe as a whole.\u00a0 Inside the ship, three intelligent crystals stirred into electrical activation.\u00a0 If they could have stretched themselves, they would have done so, luxuriantly.   Arnhelm rolled his facets towards Silvana and pulsed: \u2018\u2018?\u201d\u00a0 And she answered him: \u201c!\u201d   \u201cI remember now,\u201d he pulsed to her.\u00a0 \u201cI remember what dear meant.\u201d   Silvana looked at him for a long time.     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