Sexual Magick

One doesn’t have to be a witch to practice sexual magick. All that it requires is a setting, or mood; intent (prayer) and energy-raising (the act itself). Anyone can do it.

It happened to a friend of mine. From the 1990s onward, he and his wife became estranged from one another due to a major rift that has become irreparable. During the 90s, he left home but returned soon afterward to try to resolve the marriage. During that time, he told me, he and his wife were intimate only a handful of times. One of those times, he prayed for a child.

When the wife stopped having periods, she assumed it was menopause. Only when she felt movement within did she take a pregnancy test. My friend was so shocked that he could not believe the child was his (they had problems conceiving their second child). But when the child was born the resemblance to his father was unmistakable. My friend calls his youngest son “a miracle from God”.

Sexual magick? I think it was – it met the criteria listed above.

Before I became a Witch and involved with the temple practicing sexual magick, I had a pretty active sex life in my twenties. I found that when I was having sex, I had a connection to my partner’s mind. I had a sense of what the partner was thinking. Usually it would be jumbled, confused thoughts, but it was heaven to me. If I didn’t see this person again (and many times I didn’t), I would always have a part of them inside me through this connection.

I didn’t think that sex could be healing back then. I often felt shame for what I did. I had many one-time encounters at a time when AIDS was prevalent not only among gay men, but also among heterosexuals. I often did not practice “safe sex”, secretly reveling in their orgasms, partaking of their semen. I was fortunate. I did not have an STD. But the guilt from these encounters haunted me for a long time, and a part of the guilt remains today.

It wasn’t until I became involved in my temple that I learned of the healing properties of semen. It would mostly be emotional. I got an euphoric feeling when a man came inside me. It meant to me that I knew I did good – that I pleasured him. My male friend at the top of this article once told me that a man’s absolute expression is in his cum. I don’t doubt him.

Through my temple I participated in a few rituals involving sexual magick. Only one of these rituals was structured with a good part of it involving ceremonial magick. The other rituals involved a grounding and centering and candlelight, but otherwise unstructured. My temple always did a Beltane celebration involving a “bacchanalia” where members, invited guests and friends were free to indulge in sexual pleasure, or just watch. The first Beltane I participated in included a handfasting between a temple member and his beloved, who was initiated into the temple by the Great Rite. I, too, participated and had a good time, although I had to work out some mixed feelings a few days later with my High Priest. As in BDSM, aftercare is involved in ritual, particularly if it’s the first one a member participated. I was told that so much energy was generated through the ritual that a Full Moon Ritual was not needed.

The Full Moon Ritual in which I participated took place almost a year ago, and I was an “energy donor”. As such, I participated in the ceremony. Sacred space was created, and Lucifer and Lilith were invoked. I and two other women who were also energy donors were purified by smoke, salt and water, and a flogging. After the Fivefold Kiss, we divided into small groups and the High Priestess and Maiden performed oral sex on us to harvest our orgasms, which would be used to power the working. The working was to bring together one couple who was going through some difficulties following an illness, and to separate another couple who had ended a long engagement. The participants in the ritual were also invited to write our romantic intentions or separation petitions on slips of paper to be included in the working as well.

Being an energy donor for me wasn’t easy. I had no trouble working with the High Priestess who went down on me, but I had trouble concentrating on working on an orgasm. But after some time, I was ready and after a few minutes generated an orgasm that was such a whopper I could be heard throughout the house.

The outcome of the ritual was largely a mixed bag. The couple who was going through difficulties was successful at reconciliation. The couple going through separation, I heard, was trying to reconcile as well. My petition worked, though not the way I had envisioned. Goddess works in mysterious ways, but Her wisdom prevails.

I also worked sexual magick online with interesting results. Here are two stories:

One of them involved a younger man I met through my online journal. At the time we began our friendship, he had begun a relationship with another woman, but had trouble getting over his past love. We began communicating through instant messenger and replies to posts, always with messages of encouragement and humor.

One night I saw a post that spoke directly to my heart. It involved a passage from a favorite movie of his and it conveyed so much loneliness that I had to do something. I had bought the Cradle of Filth “Nymphetamine” CD at the time and that was powerful in terms of sexual magick. Many of the songs, including the title track, were reminiscent of Poe and his writings of obsessive love. I got my friend’s permission to quote the passage in my journal, and included a passage from the title track that I was sure would cheer him. His response touched my heart.

He eventually formed a strong relationship with the new woman, who is close friend of mine. After some outside difficulties, their love is strong and they are planning to move in together with her children and their pets. It will be a large house indeed, filled with love.

I won’t take credit for this outcome, but I like to think the Divine guided him toward his happy ending.

And the other instance of online sexual magick involved my last love. I also met him through my online journal and we began an e-mail correspondence that eventually led to IMs. I sensed something dark within him that I wanted to heal. He had healed me with a response to a post I had written about my father who had died over twenty-five years ago, and I wanted to do the same for him.

One day we were chatting about peace, joy and love. It was so touching that I actually felt strong arms around me, though no one else was in the room. I reported that to him, and he told me that he was holding me close to him. At that moment, I felt safe, secure and loved. And I also felt desire build within.

I then described a loving, erotic encounter that built to a powerful climax that left me shaking and in tears. It provoked a powerful reaction from him that he responded in kind and then afterward thanked me for loving him. We then began a passionate relationship that had more than its fair share of strife, largely from miscommunication. I was head over heels. I think he felt the same, though there was so much going on within his world. We broke up when I found he was carrying on similar communications with other women. I don’t feel the anger toward him anymore, but I don’t think I can love anybody with that intensity again.

I find that men are drawn to me because of something missing from their lives. I encourage them along and sometimes become sexually involved with them. They find what was missing and move on, more often leaving me bewildered and hurt. These feelings are something I am working to resolve within myself. I’m now glad, at least that I know what they are. I would often go for weeks wondering if I had done something wrong to make them leave. But maybe it’s time for us to part, to move on to other things.

Sexual magick just isn’t the act of sex itself. It’s a total giving of the self to work for the good of all. Hurt feelings can’t really be avoided, but constant communication is needed between the partners so that they can be healed before leading to deep-seated resentment. And the understanding that you work with the divine when engaging in sexual magick. When that coupling is over, this will always become a part of you and the Divine. This is why I believe in working with those I share a deep sense of caring and love when it comes to sexual magick. When the Divine becomes involved, I believe we are obliged to share respect with our partners and with Them.

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author bio:

Lisa Hibbard (Paganmaid) has been a practicing Witch for over five years, practicing eclectic Witchcraft and honoring many deities as she finds the one meant for her. Other than this quest, she is a budding writer, keeping two online blogs on LiveJournal:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/paganmaid
and
http://www.livejournal.com/users/paganmaid_2

She is also the mother of a bright and beautiful daughter and a cat, and lives in the Chicago area. Inquiries may be addressed to:

[email protected]