Pagan Parenting
Parenting our Parents
At this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere we are reminded of the slow period of life. The heat of summer gives way to crisp nights, leaves fall from the trees and circle our feet and the days get shorter. As parents we see infinite youth in our children’s eyes, autumn to them is a time for fun, school and heralds the approach of winter celebrations and snow play.
As Samhain approaches I am always reminded of our ancestors and elders. They are the keepers of the family stories and the example of the autumn and winter phases of life’s circle. How do we as pagans approach the care of our parents as they age? What does our culture want to pass on to future generations regarding the respect and care of those who raised us?
Our children embody the spark of youth, ourselves; the determination of early to mid-adulthood when we work hard to provide and establish foundations. Our parents and grandparents are past the stage of building and now rest. Along with that rest the breakdown of the body sometimes becomes evident, past transgressions begin to catch up and illness can appear. We become caught in the middle, trying to balance the responsibility of raising little ones and caring for our parents. Family dynamics that have been established for your entire relationship begin to change. No longer are you the one needing protection or nurturing from your parent. Instead you are the provider and the strength for them.
The stress of this can be overwhelming and tiresome. Distance is also very stressful when you live miles away and the only family member/s that are in the area are forced to take the load of the care. Many cultures have intergenerational homes in which three or more generations live under one roof. This arrangement helps the caregiver travel less and hopefully alleviates some of the strain. Senior care homes are the only option for some. There is often a solitude for many elders that is difficult and at times they may not be able to care for themselves but have little option for help from the community.
Our culture as a whole is aging. These types of scenarios will become more and more evident to us. Families whether those of blood or heart’s choice will be faced with how to navigate the rough waters of illness, aging and the balance of youth and activity with crones and sages and a slower life pace. For those of us in the middle of these stages the bulk of the work falls into our hands. We need to search for solutions, delegate responsibility and keep ourselves in balance as much as possible.
This area of thought is very compelling to me. Are you faced with any of these dilemmas yourself? Do you have solutions to share with the community? This territory is certainly not new, but does your pagan path inspire a certain outlook that helps you keep things in perspective?
I intend to investigate this topic further in future articles. I welcome your feedback or insight. Our personal stories will hopefully begin a dialogue about how our spiritual paths inform our relationships with our elders and their invaluable contribution to our families. Please feel free to comment here or send correspondence to stonegirl1177 AT yahoo DOT ca. Have a blessed Samhain.