Kids Who See Ghosts: How to Guide Them Through Fear
Kids Who See Ghosts: How to Guide Them Through Fear
By Caron B. Goode, EdD, NCC
211 pp, excluding appendices
copyright 2010 by Caron B. Goode
ISBN 978-1-57863-472-9
Weiser Books Publishing
The idea of the existence of ghosts and their communion with the living has been the stuff of TV, movies and fiction for generations. More recently, millions of viewers tune in loyally to shows that attempt to “prove” the existence of ghosts, spirits and other entities that are generally unseen. People that are intrigued or fascinated by the idea of ghosts, hauntings or other paranormal encounters travel the country or even the world, seeking experiences in locales that are purported to be haunted. Religions of the world hold their own beliefs about the existence of ghosts and whether they are to be considered “friend” or “foe” as well. Depending on the values with which one is raised, a person may be more open to accepting the paranormal as part of everyday life. Some people may fear it. Others still may not even believe that the paranormal even exists.
So, how does a parent or caregiver address the issue when a child swears that there’s a man in their room and when the child describes the man, they describe a long dead relative that they never actually met? Or something in the closet that doesn’t belong there? Or just an overall feeling of a presence that makes them ill at ease?
In Children Who See Ghosts: Guiding Them Through Fear, Dr. Caron Goode discusses the physiological and psychological development in children. She goes into greater detail along these lines to offer explanation as to why some children see or sense these energies and others do not. Dr. Goode makes it a point to emphasize that children who see or sense spectral energies are not abnormal, flawed or “crazy”. They are just different and special.
Dr. Goode also emphasizes the need for a parent or caregiver to understand that just because a child is seeing or sensing something they cannot that it is very important to talk with, listen to and believe that child. Regardless of your own beliefs with respect to ghosts or spirits, whatever that child is seeing or feeling, it’s very real to that child. She argues against trying to convince the child that the entity they are afraid of is imaginary or somehow unreal. This does little to actually help a child resolve their fear because all the parent is doing is trying to teach a child to ignore fear. Rather, Dr. Goode advocates empowering the child to confront the source of their fear and take control of it so that it does not take control of them.
Through opening the discussion to include segments proffered by fellow psychologists, parents, individuals with direct experience in dealing with spirits, leaders of support groups that help young people address and cope with the gift of seeing and communicating with spirits and even a skeptic, Children Who See Ghosts: Guiding Them Through Fear offers several suggestions for empowering children so that they do not have to be afraid. They are not without the option of saying “no”, or “not right now.” They are sovereign in their own bodies and a ghost or spirit can only come to them if they let it.
While the topic of ghosts and spirits can very easily cross into a religion or spirituality debate, Dr. Goode and her panel take obvious pains to not enter that realm. In the few instances where the discussion does cross into the spiritual or religious arenas, the focus remained on the idea of empowering a child. Instead of using religion or spirituality to explain the experience, Dr. Goode and her contributors suggest the use of religious or spirituality practice as tools for creating a spirit-free area (smudging or sweeping the area), or to invoke the presence of Deity to watch over the child and keep them safe (saying prayers or rosaries at bedtime). Children Who See Ghosts: Guiding Them Through Fear is not meant to be a spiritual discussion or even targeted to any specific religious path. Dr. Goode’s target audience is much broader and her approach lends itself more to the scientific than the spectral.
This reviewer had mixed feelings on the work as a whole. There were portions that I personally did not agree with; specifically, Dr. Goode chose to include a few minor “tests” that a parent can do to try to prove whether a child is psychic. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t look twice at that, but when in the very same book, it is advised that a child not be made to perform or prove their skill, it seemed a bit out-of-place and honestly, irrelevant. There were portions that I felt were a bit condescending, but I attributed the minor talking-down-to to the fact that there were probably a lot more people reading this book that had no clue what was meant when someone said “I see spirits” or “I see ghosts” than there were pagans that wouldn’t bat an eye at such a declaration.
Overall, I’d have to say that Dr. Caron Goode took a rather sensitive, expansive topic and addressed it in a clean, professional manner that made the idea of the paranormal more of an approachable subject, regardless of what one’s personal belief system may entail. While I believe that I would continue to use my own methods for dealing with spiritual energies, I would not hesitate to recommend Children Who See Ghosts: Guiding Them Through Fear to other parents that are trying to cope with a sensitive child, especially if the parent or caregiver has difficulty accepting the idea of ghosts or spiritual entities. While her focus is on empowering the child in question, it is the opinion of this reviewer that by proffering such a work, Dr. Goode also empowers parents by reassuring them and offering them suggestions for further education and understanding. The second portion of the title really says it all: It’s about setting aside your own beliefs and taking the hand of a child to guide them with empowerment through their fear so that they can not only embrace the fact that they are different, but thrive while being so.