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Tink About It

May 1, 2014 /

Beginnings

 

A few days ago I was chatting with some pagan friends about our first steps on this path. I have always been interested in paganism, spirituality and related subjects. Due to all kinds of circumstances it lasted quite a long time before I acted on that interest. In the meantime I had read a lot of books. That’s always a good thing of course and I still read a lot about it, but the real first steps are when I started to act, to do, try out things I read about in the books, etc.

In the very first beginning it was a solitary path for me. I didn’t know anyone else around me, that was interested in these same things. No-one to discuss things, reflect on, etc. I was just following exercises from the books, already changing and adapting things on instinct that made it feel better for me. I learned a lot from this. Of course I made mistakes, but that was okay too.

In every book I read about ‘casting a circle’, but I couldn’t find the reason why it had to be a circle. I always try to find out and understand why things are done a certain way. Curious by nature I decided to find out by experience. I had already cast a circle before, and that felt good and safe. So the next time I cast a square, and then another rectangle, a triangle and an ellipse! The ellipse felt okay, more like a circle. The corners of the square and rectangle didn’t feel right, a bit uneasy, while the corners of the (equilateral) triangle felt somewhat better but still not completely like the circle. After these experiments I was satisfied for a while. Of course later things have changed. I found out other reasons why we cast a circle, and I learned about certain traditions that do use a square in ritual. But although I can look back and smile about my efforts then, I also see it was good to try and experiment with things. I still do, just on another level.

 

Not long after that I got access to the internet and one of the first words I put into a search engine was ‘heks’, the Dutch word for witch. Wow….!!! That got me quite some links to explore!  The next word was ‘witchcraft’, in English so that gave me even more results. I read, and read, and read some more. But I also found communities and forums, full of people that shared my interests. Beginners like me, but also lots of people with real experience. I absorbed a lot of info, but it was overwhelming and I lost my way a bit.

I found two Dutch forums, that have been (and in a way still are) very important to me; the WhiteshadoW forum and the Silver Circle forum. I met people there that I still have contact with, virtually and in real life. We had in-depth discussions, asked questions, helped each other, etc. It helped me find some direction in the wide variety of possibilities. I found out what worked for me, and what didn’t.

From time to time the WhiteshadoW forum organised forum meetings, often around a sabbat. The first one I visited was a Samhain meeting. During the day there were workshops to attend and in between we ate together, got to know each other, chatted, etc. There were also two book presentations. At that time a new Dutch writer, Susan Smit, had written her first book called ‘Heks’. It was about herself, a journalist that explored witchcraft for work and ended up being a witch herself. She presented her book on the meeting and answered questions. I still have my signed copy. Today Susan is a well-known writer and literary critic. She still gives talks about witchcraft too.

In the evening we did a Samhain ritual. It was my first ritual with other people and there were quite a few! I was a bit nervous and found the whole thing very exciting. I wasn’t the only ‘ritual virgin’ though. It was a wonderful ritual. Everything was explained and we were all involved. Afterwards we talked about the experience and of course later on the forum too.

 

The forums, internet-sites, books etc. had stimulated me very much, but I wanted more. On a meeting in a spiritual centre in Amsterdam I met a group of people that wanted the same. After a few meetings we ended up with 4 girls. We decided to start a study group with the purpose to do rituals together. We called ourselves “Witches of The Rose” after the spiritual centre (De Roos). In turn we hosted an evening and prepared a ritual. By mail we discussed what we wanted to do, who would bring what, etc. We did several rituals outside too. We all learned a lot form this period. We tried several things, wrote our own texts, adapted rituals we read or heard about elsewhere…  As a group we attended a special weekend that was organised to celebrate the opening of a new stone circle in Lochem. Beside our group there was a wicca coven present, a druid grove, a group of catholic witches and some solitary practitioners. We did a lot of rituals that weekend, led by the several groups in turn. Again a wonderful learning experience!

We all went our separate ways, but from time to time our paths cross.

 

After those beginnings I have done so much more, solitary and in many different study groups, covens and other gatherings. Still I’ll never forget my first steps on this wonderful path.

 

How did you start? What were your baby-steps on the pagan path?

I’d love to hear your stories!

Blessings!

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