Reflections in the Dark

Reflections in the Dark

It is the Time of Learning.  Each one discovers it alone, without direction, because no one can find this moment for another.  It is when we can see without eyes, understand without thought, and feel the magic in the time between heartbeats.  It is a time of darkness that makes the shadows visible, a time of knowing when everything is one.

For a moment that lasts a thousand years we dare not breathe, we must not move.  Our heart races toward the unknown but time stops.  Our eyes close because they are useless here.  Our mind stops because its chatter is an illusion, a sophistry of banal concepts.  It can’t understand what only the heart can feel.

It takes every bit of our life force to create a reality.  We become:

I…

I am…

I am more.

! ! !

The seers are right; the ancient words are true.  It’s not a hoax or just pretty words; it’s the center and the edge and everything that lies between.  And you-me-it is its awakening.

What we know by thought is only the smallest part of what is.  This body, these ideas, that meaning – they all seem so… weak.  Moments like this – the ones that can’t be described – are rare but they overshadow all the rest and change us more than anything can.  Call it an epiphany or simply a light bulb going off over our head (what a clever metaphor), but the changes that happen at light speed and forever transform us most often happen in some kind of darkness.  The sun could be shining brightly and it still might be dark because we only see with our eyes most of the time.

The verb, ‘to understand,’ is overused for such moments and it too is completely inadequate.  I believe that it’s unlikely that we can train ourselves to make such moments happen on command.  The best we can do is to train ourselves to accept them and use them for the betterment of the universe.  This grace-light of the mind is often connected to a religious event of some kind, but it isn’t necessary that it be so.  However, such moments will always change our spirit.  Some will interpret that change as a sign that they have been ‘chosen’ or ‘anointed’ and will convince themselves that they now have a special duty or entitlement.  That is not so; we all have the same potential, the same limitations, the same magic within us.  These moments are only a small taste of what might be called the mind of the gods and they don’t make a person any more special than the rest.  But they do make us aware of how special we ALL are.

Magic workers aren’t the only people who experience such wondrous flashes.  Though events such as these happen rarely for an individual, they are ubiquitous to all time and cultures.  They aren’t exclusive to one magical system or one religion; they happen to all ages and within all social groups. Pagans hope for these ‘magical’ moments to happen in their rituals and as a result of ther spell, but the truth is we have no guarantees as to when and where they will occur.

I have no idea how to label or describe these experiences.  I’ve had them a few times and they have changed me but I’m not even sure how I am different because of them.  There is one thing I’ve found to be consistent in my experiences though:  I come away from them more convinced than ever that I am 100% connected to everything that is.  I just don’t seem able to maintain that connection longer than a few seconds.  During the rare events I’ve experienced I glimpse horizons beyond dimensions, truths greater than reality, and love without boundaries.  I come away knowing that there is purpose and meaning to everything, that the labels we use to separate one thing from another, to pretend we understand what something really is, are total delusion.

If you don’t think you’ve had such an experience yet, you probably haven’t watched your own child be born or survived a situation where you’ve been totally convinced you were about to die.  But you don’t have to go through such drama; it can happen when you’re sitting in front of The Tube (although I think it much less likely) or riding a bus.

Almost every person I know who has been a Pagan for a while has had one or more of these magical sessions, momentary flashes where they become… everything.  Call them epiphanies, magical moments, religious experiences, they are probably the most personal experiences you will ever have.  And, at the same time, they will make you feel like you are connected to every one, every thing, and every where.