Pagan Parenting for the Under 5’s

Hope your Samhain went well. This month I said I’d give you some fun, everyday type activities that you can do with your young children that have a Pagan or Mother Nature theme. Later on are some winter activities too.

For the child under one, the only Pagan thing you can really do is to treat them right and keep them healthy to show that you have pure love for your child. You can however and should start introducing him to Mother Nature.  For six months and under I’d probably stick to looking at real nature from a distance and reading nature books or playing with nature toys that are okay for them to manipulate and mouth. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be too many nature toys. For six months to one year you can start introducing your child to grass and sun and leaves and twigs and rocks. Try to keep the items big so they can’t be swallowed and NEVER look away. The child should be on your lap facing outwards and you should be manipulating the object together so that as soon as the child tries to mouth the object you can stop her. However instead of pulling it back and saying no, try to redirect her into doing something else with the object (such as putting it in a bucket.)

For the child ages one to three years, you can start to do more. On the Pagan front, your child should be learning how to handle and manipulate their energy, basic Pagan etiquette (such as no touching the altar) and of course more on Mother Nature.  Tell your child that we all have energy inside us. It’s what allows us to move and think. Of course the one year old won’t understand much of this but explain it anyway. They always retain more than we think they will. Then start teaching them about feelings and help them to identify what they are feeling. “You’re angry that you have to put away your toys right now when you don’t want to.” “You feel sad that Mommy has to go to work.” Obviously this will be easier with the older child but a child between one and two can start to learn that when he is crying it means he’s sad.

After your child has learned to identify her feelings, she needs to learn how to deal with them. Teach your child a very simple “ritual” that he can perform with you when he has strong feelings such as anger, sadness, anxiety or fear. This could include scrunching up toilet paper while thinking of feelings then flushing it down the toilet or punching a pillow or jumping up and down.

As for Pagan etiquette, now is the time to teach that an altar is personal and not for random touching, that while we are proud to be Pagan, we don’t shout it from the rooftops or offer the information up out of nowhere and that during a ritual we are quiet and don’t touch anything or say anything unless we are told too.

With regards to Mother Earth, your child one to three can manipulate it more. Teach her to be gentle and never to pick anything off a live tree or plant. Explain how plants are living like us, that they breathe and eat. Now would be a good time to have a plant or two in the house and have your child help you water it and replant it when necessary. They will quickly learn what happens to a plant if it is not taken care of. (Especially if your “green thumb” is like mine.) Read lots of books about nature, go for lots of nature walks and answer his questions to the best of your ability. Don’t be afraid to give explanations but stop if your child seems uninterested.

So what about the child three to five years old? Pretty much everything mentioned for the one to three-year-old still applies. If you’ve been doing the ideas, keep them up. If you are just starting, do what was mentioned before with more thorough explanations for the older child.

Also now is a good time to start introducing the elements. Stick with the four basic ones first: Air, Fire, Water and Earth. Play fun games to get them familiar with an element and then name it. The book Circle Round by Starhawk, Diane Baker and Anne Hill has activities for each element (along with a lot of other great ideas.) Here are a few basic ideas:

AIR – burn incense together, lie down and look at clouds, make a dream journal, take a walk in the wind

FIRE – watch candles burn or have campfires, cook or bake together

WATER – play with water, have a bath together (for same genders), play out in the rain, learn more about feelings

EARTH – make mud pies, take a nature walk, plant a seed and watch it grow, learn what deciduous trees do through the seasons

That should give you a basic idea of what your child should be learning about spirituality wise from birth to age five.

Winter Activities

Yule is coming up and I’ll have more Yule orientated activities next month but this month I wanted do give you a few winter activities. Winter of course starts at Yule so November isn’t winter yet however there are a few things you could do.

Make Bird Feeders – It’s not too late. This activity is often done in the spring but some birds are collecting food for the winter so bird feeders help them get what they need.

Learn About Darkness – the days are getting shorter and the nights longer. Your child will be seeing that it gets darker, earlier every evening. Just because it’s dark and chilly, doesn’t mean you should stay indoors all the time. If it’s not too windy, bundle you and your child up and go outside. Take a short walk in the dark if you live in a nice area. If you don’t, just sit on your porch for a while or perhaps find a way to spend an evening in a safe outdoor area. Have your child point out how things are different outside when it’s dark from when it’s light.

Death – If you didn’t talk about your ancestors during Samhain, do it now. If your child is under 5, they won’t understand what death is so don’t try to explain it too much. You don’t want to frighten your child either. Just show pictures and explain who the people are and explain that they are somewhere else where we can’t see them or talk to them anymore. Don’t be afraid to let your child know that you are sad and miss them. You want them to understand it’s okay to grieve.

Hibernation – read your child books about animals that hibernate for the winter like the bear. Ask questions and listen to your child’s answers, they may surprise you. Make a bear cave and bear with play dough for your child to play with. Search online for crafts and activities to do to reinforce this idea.

All right that’s it for this month, I hope you’ve found something helpful. As always, if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, please email me at [email protected]. I always welcome comments here to of course; it’s great to know my article is being read.