Witch Tips

Quick & easy hints to get you through your busy day.

Staying Alive Out of the Broom Closet
Part Two: At Home

I’m not sure about Pagans per se, but there aren’t many second generation Wiccans around right now. Most of our parents or guardians were of different religious persuasions than we are–and that means most of us didn’t start off as Pagans, either. We converted somewhere along the way. Which brings up the question–what do we tell the family?

I think it basically depends upon what kind of relationship you have with them. No, no, I don’t mean the quality of your relationships–those are either good or bad, and only you can answer that–I mean the amount of info your family ordinarily shares with each other. Talk to Sis every day on the phone? Maybe you should mention it. Have to look up Dad’s address when you mail out his birthday card? Maybe not so much….

It also depends on your own motivations. If you just wanna shock the fam, grow a Mohawk. If you want to grab attention or hurt someone’s feelings, get therapy. What’s that, Pilgrim? You say you want to share a beautiful part of your life with loved ones who can appreciate it without being traumatized? That’s more like it.

Just don’t forget your total situation. It’s not all about you, believe me. Got kids? (Here’s that second generation thing again.) Minors are going to have plenty of embarrassments growing up without you being the biggest one, so keep it low key. (Now, call me insensitive, but adult children can simply tough it out–like you did for them.) And remember–your kids are entitled to whatever religions they choose for themselves. Ditto the grandchildren. You owe them that. Period.

Divorce is another sticky wicket. Would your ex use your religion against you in court, for less alimony or more custody? If you even think he might….he might. Act accordingly. (See Part One of this diatribe for suggestions.)

Me? Both of my girlfriend’s kids are second gen Wiccans. She & I are out to friends and neighbors & her family. And one of the dubious bennies of of middle age is that there’s nobody left to tell among my own blood relatives except Mom. (My mother is a remarkable woman. She raised me all by her lonesome before it became fashionable to do so. She’s one of the reasons I liked Wicca in the first place–strong women seem natural to me.) And Mom showed me the way when I was at the tender age of forty something and had given her a Green Egg mag while working up my nerve to finally tell her I was Wiccan. She read it, and soon after told me, "There’s a good saying on page 41, halfway down the second column." She’d highlighted it: I have never regretted that which I did not say. I agreed that it was indeed a very good saying, and we went on to have a most enjoyable visit & vacation. Maybe that’s not the way every family would do it, but it was right & comfy for us. Still is.

Am I hinting we should be ashamed of ourselves & our Craft, suggesting we ought to be "stealth" Pagans? Never–too many of us have worked too darn hard to get where we are today. Do I think we should reveal ourselves to our loved ones with care and sensitivity? Absolutely!

After all, they’re stuck with us.

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author bio:

Weyland Smith lives in Mercer County New Jersey with the bright and beautiful Morgan, her two children, and their cats & familiars Flame and Macavity. They may be reached at [email protected] Any and all rumors that Weyland and New Jersey governor John Corzine were twins who were separated at birth are completely bogus–Wey’s a Republican. (And a poor Republican, at that! Sheesh…)