Spiralled Edges – Finding Balance
It may be because I was born with Libra Rising, but for most of my life I have been a person who likes balance.
One doesn’t walk a balanced path though. Instead it is a constant fluctuation between extremes. Sometimes that fluctuation is very tiny with minute changes most people never notice. Other times, these fluctuations can be huge, with massive changes that send you reeling back and forth for some time.
When we think about walking in balance, our vision is that it is somehow a static event. We reach balance and then we are in balance. This could not be further from the truth. The scales of Libra are not a modern set of digital scales that automatically display a number. And neither are our lives. These are, instead, an old-fashioned set of apothecary scales. Balance doesn’t come immediately, weights are placed on one side, or taken off, weighing heavy first in one direction and then the other until finally, for a brief moment, perfect balance is achieved.
Even a simple task like walking gives us a clear example of how we are constantly making slight corrections in order to stay in an upright position. A teacher many years ago told me, walking is nothing more than a series of controlled falls. My leg lifts, my body moves forward. Before I fall, I set my foot down and bring my other foot forward. Both feet meet briefly at the centre, then the second foot moves forward and once again I am falling forward until I set my foot down again.
Move my foot forward too far, and I am off balance and fall. Set my foot down too early or too late and I am off balance and fall.
This doesn’t stop when we are standing still either. We constantly make minute corrections in our balance, moving first one way and then another slightly shifting a foot leaning slightly forward or back.
As much as I like balance, my life has been one of extremes. I’ve dealt with heartbreak and loss, depression and anxiety, PTSD. Finding balance here has meant taking prescription antidepressants in order to keep my emotions from swinging too far into the suppressed position. Finding balance in my physical body means taking more prescription medications. There is no shame in needing medications for managing mental illnesses or physical illnesses.
Finding balance does not mean you never experience extremes, and moving away from the centre does not mean that you are out of balance. Remember that apothecary scale, swinging one way and the other.
Living on the spiralled edge means constantly making slight corrections, first to one side then the other, sometimes leaning a bit too far one direction or the other in order to bring life back into balance from the opposite extreme.
As a Pagan witch I strive to find a balance between the extremes. I’m not always successful, but as I remind myself, balance is the journey not the destination.