A Memorial – Interview with Lord Shadow by Lady Saoirse
Bright Blessings. I have mentioned my Priest in more than one article for PaganPagesOrg. I have talked about things he has told me, rituals we have done together, and our relationship.
For those who have not read, I will tell you a bit. We have become as family to one another. Lord Shadow is basically my Dad/Priest/Friend, as he refers to himself. I met him through a friend of his who I was studying chaos magic with when I was a new witch. Lord Shadow and I hit it off, and I was told a lot about his experience, wisdom, and expertise from more than one person. When I decided where I belonged was Wicca, I knew I wanted to study with Lord Shadow.
He was good enough to accept me as his student, and that was about 2007 or 2008.
The way he decided was to invite me over to talk about my goals, and who I was. My first lessons entailed having me do homework. I think most people have the idea that you will go out to nature and do mysterious spell work with a mentor, and that’s not the way it is. I researched Wicca, Witch Hunts, Magic, Sabbats, and simple topics. I was instructed to get out and observe the seasons regularly. I was in ritual with my Priest, and we facilitated a discussion group together, and did rituals with loved ones. I was initiated and worked with him on degrees. I earned my Third Degree as a High Priestess in the winter of 2022.
Why did it take me so long to become a Priestess? Because we did it right. Many expect to burn through degrees in a year and a day, but three or four years does not prepare somebody to lead. You learn not only spells and rituals, but the history of the craft, and you meet many people who follow other pagan religions. You learn counseling, crisis resolution, and you watch a lot of fights and outright witch wars. You go to other towns, attend classes and events, and eventually, you start to do things in and for the community. It takes a long time to become good at such things. You make mistakes and learn from them and most of all, you learn how much you can tolerate. You set boundaries, and you get a reputation for the way you are.
I can never express how much he means to me. He is the only person who has really been like a father to me. He always says, “I won’t be around forever.” And of course, none of us will. If the day comes he is gone before I am, I don’t know what I am going to do. (I wrote that in 2020.)
We have a rare relationship. There are plenty of people who initiate and become close to their mentor, but to become so close and to develop the amount of love and trust we have is something I don’t see every day. More and more people self-initiate and say they recognize no elders. While solitary practice is something I have learned these few years to develop, and I would never criticize anybody who does not want to join others in circle, I do not agree that solitaries have absolutely no elders. Each and every book we read is written by somebody more advanced and wiser than we imagine. These people may not be in our presence, but as we learn from them, even from afar, they mentor us and are our elders. Wicca is in no way a path for one who is 100% self-taught, and there is no such thing as self-taught. We all learn from somebody else even if we don’t have a relationship with them.
While I have had mother figures, those relationships were never as close as the one I have with Lord Shadow. He is my first, and probably my only true parent. Each Sabbat without him is more difficult than the last one, and Sabbats will never be the same without him, no matter who else I celebrate with.
He agreed to allow me to interview him, and I am so glad he did!
Interview of Lord Shadow with Saoirse
Saoirse (S)– Were you raised religious, and if so, what religion? What brought you to Wicca and Ceremonial Magic.
Lord Shadow (LS)– Never went to church. Very basic Christian BS; be a good boy or the devil will get you. The old German fire and ice BS (the devil sticks you with his pitchfork and sticks you into the fire, then into ice, and back and forth forever. At the age of 5 or 6 (can’t remember) I went outside and dug a hole to look for the devil. I slowly put my hand down the hole (probably all of 2 or 3 feet deep) expecting for the devil, or a demon, to grab my hand. Nothing happened so, I figured it was a bunch of nonsense. And rejected it ever since. When I was 14, I dated a preacher’s daughter, Church of Christ people, and I never heard such BS in my life before, and totally rejected it all as BS (but she taught me how to French kiss so, there’s that. A beautiful pale redhead with green eyes). I was always interested in Magic since childhood, via TV and films. When I was in Florida, I met a guy in Key West who put me on the path to Western Hermeticism and The I Ching. After a couple of years, I found Crowley and I have never been the same since.
S – Perfect! What brought you to Wicca?
LS – After a while, I decided that I wasn’t studying to be a Rabbi or a Christian priest (all that Hebrew, Latin, and such in the western trad of Ceremonial Magic) and was looking for something more “earthy.” Back before I really started on any path, I had read Margaret Alice Murray’s book on Western Witchcraft, The Witch Cult of Western Europe, but I was only 16, I didn’t have any way to research the info, and it seemed like a lot of nonsense anyway. When I came to Wicca, I learned that most were also full of shit but having been used to Ceremonial Magic, I kind of felt at home with High Church Wicca. Since then I use more Sex Magick (via Crowley) and Sympathetic Magic (via Frazer). Common sense and research led me to realize that most people and their “ancient traditions” were a lot of BS; much of it containing a lot of Crowley…although Aleister Crowley never got over his Christian upbringing – I get a lot of flak for that opinion.
S – Yes, I have noticed how many people need to believe what we do is thousands of years old and has not changed. My research has shown the Pre Xtian rites were nothing like modern Wicca. Research also proves the Inquisition was looking for things that never happened, none of which are like what Wiccans do.
LS – Most of modern Witchcraft comes out of traditional Ceremonial Magic, and you know that the Pagans never did the majority of that stuff.
S – Exactly. So about what year did you become Wiccan, and what was it about what you call High Church Wicca that made it stand out?
LS – I went to a Pagan Meetup that was sponsored by Lady B. I asked to join her Coven and she said yes. That was in spring of 1991. I was elevated to Priest in 1994. High Church Wicca is very Ceremonial, as you know from the few we did. Having studied and practiced Ceremonial Magic since 1973, it felt natural. BTW Alexandrian is way more Ceremonial than Gardnerian. I was tired of all the Judeo-Christian BS and longed for the Divine Feminine that Aleister Crowley spoke of, which also worked the best for Sex Magick.
S – 1973!!!! Some people reading this would not have even been born yet! How is Wicca and the general Pagan community different now than in the 1970’s and the 1990’s?
LS – There’s been more nonsense and BS over the years. People using the term Magick (re-introduced by AC for a specific meaning and usage), using the nonsensical term “Magickal,” Thus misunderstanding and misusing the term Magick. More and more of everything being “ancient Witchcraft” (including the kitchen sink). Back in the 70’s just about every other girl I met told me that they were a “Witch,” and I just laughed. The 70’s was not quite as full of BS as it is now. It grew over the years. But it was always full of shit to some degree. Since the 90’s, too many people bring films and TV shows into Wicca / Magic, showing that they know zippy Do Da. With the internet available for research, most people don’t do any research on their own and draw their own conclusions. They ask others who may or may not know what the hell that they are talking about (most of the time it is nonsense and misinformation). Also since the 90’s but even more so now-a-days, people have to have a shit load of various crystals and jewelry. Just more nonsense. How many damn pentagrams does one need?
S – I own one!
LS – I do too. I only wear it in Circle or sometimes when going to a Pagan event but I wear my Pentagram rings all the time (one is my marriage ring).
S – The thing I want to talk about now is the shop you had. Shadow Realm. What made you decide to open it, how long was it open, and what sort of classes, events, and merch did you bring in?
LS – It started with my mail order business Shadow Enterprises which moved into opening a shop. I still do Shadow Enterprises. The mail order business started in February of 1990.
Lord Shadow would run the shop for about six years before he closed it.
This is as far as the interview got and I started it in 2020. He did not want to be interviewed anymore. He had done multiple interviews in his younger days, but did not have the desire to do it anymore.
His legacy is how many people he taught, his amazing sense of humor and the event he started. Losing him is mourned by not only his relatives, but his non biological family among the Pagans and even some non Pagans who have been fortunate to know him.
He had an aortic aneurism in about 2018, and surgery gave us almost five more years with him. In December 2022 he went to the hospital and was told to call about Hospice. He finally agreed and made the call in February, and a little over week later, crossed the veil. He is survived by his wife, AJ, his daughters, Jessica and Aeryn, and stepchildren, Justin and Caitlyn. He was also blessed by multiple grandchildren, and even some great grandchildren. Losing him is mourned by not only his relatives, but his non biological family among the Pagans and even some non Pagans who have been fortunate to know him. He made it clear he did not want “a fucking funeral” because “that shit’s expensive.” A memorial for the community will be planned.
The night AJ called and told me he was at the hospital, she said the doctors told her if he lived, he would not be discharged to home but to a facility. I alerted a few people who were close to him, and we all visited him and AJ that weekend. Monday February 27, 2023, Lord Shadow crossed the veil. Medically. Those of us who knew him felt his spirit pulling away before that day, and the night AJ called, I could sense his presence in the house and feel his loving embrace.
He will always be loved, his loss is grieved, and he will always be remembered.
Raise a glass of something delicious and a Toast to Lord Shadow with me:
TO THE GODS!
TO THE GODDESS!
AND TO ALL OF US
BLESSED BE!!!!!!
**
About the Author:
Saoirse is a practicing witch, and initiated Wiccan of an Eclectic Tradition.
A recovered Catholic, she was raised to believe in heaven and hell, that there is only one god, and only one way to believe. As she approached her late 20’s, little things started to show her this was all wrong. She was most inspired by the saying “God is too big to fit into one religion” and after a heated exchange with the then associate pastor of the last Xtian church she attended, she finally realized she was in no way Xtian, and decided to move on to see where she could find her spiritual home.
Her homecoming to her Path was after many years of being called to The Old Ways and the Goddess, and happened in Phoenix, Arizona. She really did rise from her own ashes!
Upon returning to Ohio, she thought Chaos Magic was the answer, and soon discovered it was actually Wicca. She was blessed with a marvelous mentor, Lord Shadow, and started a Magical Discussion Group at local Metaphysical Shop Fly By Night. The group was later dubbed A Gathering of Paths. For a few years, this group met, discussed, did rituals, fellowship, and volunteering together, and even marched as a Pagan group with members of other groups at the local gay Pride Parade for eight years.
All the while, she continued studying with her mentor, Lord Shadow, and she became a Third Degree High priestess in 2022. She belongs to the Black Dragon Clan.