Interview with Romany Rivers
Romany Rivers: Weaving Words
Romany Rivers is an artist, Pagan Priestess and co-founder of Moon River Wicca in England. As a Celebrant Romany uses poetry and modern interpretations of fairytales to create unique celebrations, festivals, and rituals. Aside from her work as a Priestess and artist, she is also well known for her work in the holistic health community as a Reiki Master and Tarot Reader. Romany resides in Nova Scotia, Canada, pursuing dreams of a sustainable, family focused and rural lifestyle whilst providing holistic and family support services to the community. Her upcoming book, Poison Pen Letters to Myself is described as ‘A self-effacing, insightful and wonderfully authentic document of a poet discovering her voice.’ Intrigued, I decided to ask Romany about this collection of deeply personal poetry.
Mabh: Poison Pen Letters to Myself is out this May. How are you feeling about the release of this book?
Romany: I am so proud of myself for daring to share my words with the world, and still a little disbelieving that so many people are connecting with it. It has been an exciting, but often overwhelming, process from the start, not only because publishing is a new experience for me, but because I have had to go back and face parts of my past that are still raw for me.
Mabh: C. M. Mitchell describes your book as a ‘fragmented autobiography’. Did you put the poems together with autobiographical intent, or was the writing more of a healing process?
Romany: I think it is naturally autobiographical because the poems follow my personal journey and span a two decade period, although it wasn’t written with an autobiographical intent. It has been very cathartic for me to see the shift in perspective that time has given me, and creating this book has been a part of my healing process – it has almost been a way of seeing myself through another’s eyes.
Mabh: In your introduction you state that the poems are not meant for a ‘soundtrack of clicking fingers’ (something I personally loathe), however, have you ever read any of your poems aloud to an audience or would you be tempted to?
Romany: Many of these personal poems have never seen the light of day, and until recently have never been shared with others. If I am honest I am quite uncomfortable in the spotlight, although I am not averse to singing around a campfire. Very recently, I have for the first time read aloud at a local centre for supporting women. I read a new poem about my experiences with post natal depression, which choked me up and made me cry, and followed it with one of my favourites from the book, Rose Petals. I found the experience very difficult, but also very healing – seeing other women connect to my words made me understand that my thoughts, feelings and experiences are shared with others and that sometimes I am giving a voice to others who are not ready to speak about their own experiences. The difference between the written word and the spoken word is quite profound. Reading aloud I cannot help but put my own emotions, tone and inflection into the words, but when another person reads the same words they can equate them to their own thoughts and feelings.
Mabh: What made you decide to put these deeply personal poems into a volume for public consumption?
Romany: For me, this is an act of freedom. A chance to accept and let go of the past I have kept hidden. My original intention was to self-publish as an act of release, but a friend encouraged me to contact some publishing houses. Since I have other books that I want to publish, I thought that the experience of submitting a manuscript would be beneficial. I wasn’t expecting to receive such a positive response to my work, and that incredible feedback made me look at the book in a whole new light. Instead of publishing Poison Pen Letters to Myself being a personal act of acceptance and release, it became important to raise issues and give voice to the darkness that many people experience.
Mabh: How do you think your book will affect others who have suffered through dark times or depression?
Romany: I truly hope that it eases the sense of loneliness and isolation that often comes with the dark days. Sometimes just knowing that someone understands, even if that understanding comes from the pages of a book rather than a touch of a hand, can be the one thing that gets you through a rough patch. I have turned to books all throughout my life, during good times and bad, and I often found inspiration and support in the written word, in poetry and in fiction.
Mabh: As a sufferer of anxiety and depression, I often find that these conditions are classed as the ‘common cold’ of the mental health spectrum, and often not taken seriously, even by some doctors. Have you had any experience of this, or perhaps of ignorance of mental health in other areas?
Romany: Completely. Very few people seem to actually acknowledge the truth about living with depression or anxiety, and how much it impacts all the areas of your life, all the ways you view yourself and the world around you. I have experienced the extremes of being treated as broken, damaged, or worthless, and also having my emotions discounted, brushed off and dismissed. I think those societal attitudes really impact how we as individuals perceive our own emotional states, and we are less likely to seek support when we need it for fear of a lack of understanding.
Mabh: What one piece of advice would you give to someone who is suffering depression right now?
Romany: Depression and anxiety are like uncomfortable visitors who long outstay their welcome. Sometimes I wonder if I did something to invite them in and then must endure their unwelcome presence. Other times I feel like I can hear them knocking, and even though I have no intention of letting them in somehow they end up invading my home. I think instead of letting them make our lives and home uncomfortable for us, we need to use every trick and technique we can to make our lives and home uncomfortable for them – and every person’s technique for pushing them out the door is different. If it means getting support as soon as we hear them knocking, or learning to say no to events or activities to conserve our energy and emotions, or learning to say yes to company so that we are not alone with their presence, then that is what we need to do. I don’t have a solution for anyone going through a really dark time right now, I wish I did, I can only suggest that we try hard to discover the techniques that work for each of us and not be afraid to employ every technique possible to push those unwelcome visitors out the door. We do not need to let depression or anxiety define us, we are so much more.
Mabh: Did your spiritual learnings help you overcome your periods of depression, or is it more that the darker times led you to study more and work harder?
Romany: Good question. A little of column A and a little of column B I think. The darkness I felt, the way that I viewed the world, and the fact that I felt so disconnected from the ‘normal’ crowd encouraged me to search for meaning and understanding outside of my previous experiences – leading me into the exploration of philosophy, psychology and alternative spiritual beliefs. The sense of connection I discovered within eastern philosophies and Pagan beliefs created a desire to study more and explore more. The more I studied and explored, the more I found techniques, practices and concepts that helped me grow as a person, understand myself and my cycles of depression, and face my own shadows. Depression and anxiety pushed me into finding a balance, and spirituality showed me how to find that balance within myself.
Mabh: You’ve done a great deal of travelling; is there one particular place you resonate with more than any other? Why is it so special to you?
Romany: No one place in particular, so many places have such wonderful energy and so many incredible memories for me. I love visiting new places when I can, but if I had to choose one place to go back to it would be Ubud in Bali. I had a wonderful time there, the people are so engaging and so welcoming, I found it to be a place of creativity that was all at once uplifting, invigorating and yet very peaceful.
Mabh: And where do you go when you need to be inspired? Or does inspiration come easily?
Romany: Inspiration is random and unpredictable, so the more I look for it the less I seem to find it. Instead I try to remain open to the muses whenever they whisper to me. I try to always keep a notebook in my possession and dotted around the house so that I can quickly jot down thoughts and ideas when they arise. I do find that ‘me time’ is an important part of remaining open to inspiration though, so I do make time for myself when possible – time to dance, sing, walk in nature, sit by the river, read a book, stare at a fire, watch the moon rise, or play with paint and fabrics.
Mabh: You’ve had a great deal of differing spiritual influence in your life, including but not limited to Christianity, Buddhism and now Wicca. Why has Wicca become the main focus in your spiritual life?
Romany: Discovering Wicca and Witchcraft was the first time that I felt I had ‘come home’ with a spiritual practice. I didn’t feel like I was making myself fit a system, I felt as if the system fit me. As if the concepts, beliefs and practices I naturally connected with were reflected back to me. I find a lot of wonderful support and inspiration in many different spiritual and religious paths, but my studies in Wicca and Witchcraft made me realise that this was a spiritual path I had been walking for some time.
Mabh: Can you tell us about Moon River Wicca? How does this tradition differ from other Wiccan paths?
Romany: Moon River Wicca is an eclectic Wiccan teaching tradition that grew from the knowledge and experiences of my mentor Arietta and my own practice of Wicca. We were both teaching students, and we both had different techniques and approaches. We felt that combining our knowledge, techniques, skills and experiences would create a system of Wicca that reflected an evolving spirituality based on ancient techniques within a modern lifestyle. Although we observe a fairly traditional degree based teaching structure, MRW is less coven based and more of a community. In this way is has been a wonderful resource for those who would typically identify as solitary to work with and learn from others. We found every student brought something new to the system, students supported and taught each other, and that by teaching others we were continuing and deepening our own learning. The spiral of learning to teach and teaching to learn gives Moon River Wicca the feel of a teaching tradition, one that revolves around core principles of Wicca and Witchcraft, but remains experiential and offers a wide scope of personal spirituality and personal interpretation.
Mabh: You are based in Canada but Moon River Wicca is UK based; does this ever cause difficulties or does modern technology make this easy to deal with?
Romany: Since moving to Canada and having two little ones within two years, I have taken a step back from very active roles in Moon River Wicca and Arietta continues to offer training locally and at a distance. However, even before moving away we were both working with students based in a variety of locations. Modern technology certainly does make it easier to communicate and support others, especially those who feel isolated by environment or circumstances, but so much in Wicca and Witchcraft is experiential that it can still be challenging to explore magical concepts without physical interaction. At the end of the day, this is the time we live in, these are the technologies we have available to us, and the ability to assist others as they learn and grow spiritually is important. Difficulties arise in all methods of teaching, face to face, one on one, coven based, community based, online or distance teaching – you do your best to understand the challenges and work hard to overcome them together.
Mabh: How hard is it to balance your time between your roles as teacher, mentor, family woman and writer?
Romany: Very difficult, although I imagine many people struggle with finding a balance in their lives – after all, many of us take on a variety of roles in our lives, all of which are very important to our sense of identity. I really struggled to be anything but Mama after my firstborn, I completely lost my personal identity and I feel like I am only just rediscovering myself now. Writing has helped me to connect again with the other important roles in my life, and I am now gradually taking on more personal studies and casual mentoring. Finding balance, devoting time to each passion, is always going to be something that requires self-awareness.
Mabh: Like me, you seem to view science and magic as two sides of the same coin, or perhaps two facets of the same gem. What branch of modern science do you find most fascinating, and which do you think would have been most likely to have been viewed as magic or sorcery, say, 100 years ago?
Romany: What a great question! I am naturally more artistic than scientific, so all the branches of science intrigue and often overwhelm me. I am absorbed by Quantum Physics and I find the constantly evolving and expanding theories endlessly fascinating. I also believe that some Quantum Physics theories closely resemble magical and spiritual concepts, and I wonder if this is the field of study where science and magic will eventually meet.
I think any branch of modern science or technology would have appeared magical to the past, but I think the advances we have made in modern medicine are most likely to have been considered sorcery. I don’t always agree with the approaches of modern medicine, but I am so grateful for the techniques and treatments we have available to us today compared to life just a 100 years ago. The ability to protect against, heal and cure ailments that would have been fatal just a few generations ago would surely have been seen as magical. As Arthur C. Clarke said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
Mabh: Tell us about Woven Word, your book currently in production.
Romany: The Woven Word is both a compilation of invocations and inspirations for ritual use, and a closer look at the art of using language as an act of magic in itself. Although based heavily upon my own traditional training of Wiccan ritual, it breaks ritual down into component parts allowing, I hope, for many Pagan paths to find aspects that they can connect with and utilise, including prayers, blessings and meditations. I have attempted to make the book accessible for those new to Pagan paths, whilst still offering the more experienced inspiration and ideas for developing their own unique seasonal celebrations and life rites. The book has grown and developed over time, and I feel it has transformed itself into a resource that will become a much thumbed, slightly dog-eared and well-loved book on my own shelves. We don’t yet have a release date for The Woven Word, but the wonderful team at Moon Books Publishing are working hard on production and I am really enjoying seeing the book in its final stages.
Mabh: And do you have any other projects on the horizon?
Romany: Writing wise, I have several books in development, but I am currently unsure as to where I will be focusing my energies right now so I am reluctant to divulge any more at this stage. I am also writing for several magazines, e-zines and anthologies so you may see my name popping up throughout the year. Art wise, I am working on a “Rags to Enrichment” project, recycling unwanted materials into new inspiring art pieces. I hope to have a small portfolio ready for a local art show during winter, so I am working hard on that too.
Mabh: Finally, describe your perfect relaxing day for us.
Romany: My perfect relaxing day would be fairly solitary. Waking up naturally without an alarm clock or immediate demand is rare and wonderful. A hot breakfast followed by a long walk in the woods, maybe lunch with friends or family, and then an afternoon of painting or playing with fabrics. A tasty dinner, a really hot bubble bath, and an evening with a good book, a blanket and an open fire is definitely my idea of bliss. Throw in a great massage or a Reiki session somewhere in there and I would consider that a pretty perfect relaxing day.
You can pre-order Poison Pen Letters to Myself now and find out more about Romany in any of these places:
Web/blog: www.RomanyRivers.com
Poison Pen Letters to Myself: http://www.moon-books.net/index.php?id=99&p=3431
Poetry on Moon Books: http://moon-books.net/blogs/moonbooks/category/poetry/romany-rivers/