Are We All the Same?- Tarot with Lady Saoirse

 

By Lady Saoirse

Bright Blessings,

Recently I had an ugly wakeup and reality check. I realize I should have realized this a long time ago! Whether this is doing or getting a reading, or not, this lesson holds true in our pagan communities.

A backstory first.

In 2004, I had a terrible health scare. At the time, I had not converted to Paganism yet, although I had left Catholicism. I had been attending an Apostolic church for close to a year when I fell ill. The assistant pastor and another man in the congregation had taken me to task just before I got sick. It happened when the assistant pastor began a conversation at our cell group- modern term for Bible study- about what makes Christians different than members of other religions. One thing they said was “Christians have a relationship- with God.” I told them that that members of other religions feel they have relationships with their deities. The one man spoke up, demanding to know which religions I was talking about, and I said, ‘Well all of them!” They didn’t like that. AT ALL. I told them I had seen a quote that said, “God is too big to fit into one religion.”  I told the assistant pastor I had been raised Catholic, and I knew the Catholics taught there was only one god and their religion was the only valid one. I asked him what the Apostolic teaching about that was.

The pastor could have said a number of things, but his response was the turning point in my faith journey. In an angry tone, he said “Jesus is the way the truth and the light and NOBODY comes to the father but through him!!!!” I should have gotten up and left at that point. I was just so shocked, I did not know what to do. Instead, I sat and explained myself because it was so outrageous. I had simply asked because I was not familiar with that church’s teaching. He calmed down, but I was done.

I didn’t return. This was partially because I got sick- really sick. I got a phone call some weeks after getting sick. The caller was wife of the man who demanded to know what religions I was saying believed they had a relationship with the deities they worship. She wanted to know when I was coming back. I explained I had been really sick. So sick I thought I would die, and I was able to work, but did not have the energy to do anything else but sleep. But that the cell group meeting had really made me think. In those weeks I was sick and had been away, I had time to reflect on what I wanted to be doing with my faith.

Sitting in a church, listening to people preach and sing was not how I wanted to live my faith. Going out to social events with the church members wasn’t either. I believed we were called by faith to do things, and once I got better, I would probably do some volunteer work instead of attending worship services. She asked if it was okay to pray for me, and I said yes. I really appreciated her doing that. She called to check and then she prayed for me to be healed. The she said she had to get off the phone to go buy some food to take for the cell group meeting. She said I was always welcome to join a different cell group and come back.

A few minutes after I got off the phone, it dawned on me that they were all gathering to eat and visit. I had just told her I was so sick I was afraid I would die. She gave me “thoughts and prayers” basically and ran off to socialize. That was not my idea of a spiritual attitude. I never heard back from any of them again. I had basically said I might die. They were more concerned with party food and having social time than checking on somebody who was sick and might have been dying.

That, folks was my official exit from Christianity and I have never looked back.

In 2005, I started taking classes and going to metaphysical and Pagan shops. I have been walking a magical path ever since. Part of the reason I converted was the Pagan faiths embrace the same beliefs I do. One thing I believe in is watching out for people and another is not using your religion as your social outlet like the Christians always did.

Unfortunately, folks, I have discovered, Pagans are the same damned way.

In 2014, a similar problem hit me, and I did almost die. Why I didn’t I will never know. I could count on two hands how many of my so-called Pagan brethren, who “could not do without me” did not forget I existed. I got better. I am not, nor will I ever be 100% the person I was before, but I clawed my way back to society, and started circling with my Pagans again, so happy to be back in the community and no longer feeling isolated from my kind.

Something happened a couple of months ago- no I am not sick, thankfully- but  I’m gone again for the time being at least.

I have heard from ONE person. She told me I am missed. I organized a get together- and NOBODY showed up. Nobody even bothered to let me know they were not coming.

It was that moment that I realized something ugly.

I thought that as Pagans we were better. I thought we were not “Sunday church religious people.” I thought we carried our sacred temples within us. I thought we were active in politics by voting, attending meetings, and doing good in our communities. I thought we were loving, inclusive, open-minded people who wanted everybody to be free to be who they are. I thought we took care of our own and nobody was left behind.

I was wrong. Most of the people in the Pagan community only see you when you show up to where they already are. They are no better at keeping in touch than Christians. They don’t miss you if you’re not there. They don’t see you if you’re not there. They forget you ever existed if you’re not there. I have had other people tell me they feel the same way. I have listened to so many Pagans refuse to vote, and their idea of political activism is cussing out strangers on the internet. Many Pagans want people who are just like them to be free for who they are, but they want to change other people to be just like them. They do not embrace diversity, but they discourage it. They focus on themselves and do fuck all for the community.

Just. Like.The.Christians.I. Left.

I woke up realizing our religion doesn’t make us who we are and more than what we claim to believe does. What we do makes us who we are. Most people in general, whether they are Christian, Pagan, Atheist, or anything else would rather complain than do good things. Most people in general don’t help other people or keep in touch. Most people in general are too caught up in their own lives to notice others.

Then, there are the good people in the world. They are the ones who will check on you if they’ve not heard from you. They are the ones who will ask you if you’ve had something to eat and if you haven’t, they’ll feed you. They’re the ones who will come and see you. They’re the ones who share their lunch with a coworker who forgot to pack food. They’re the ones who rescue animals, have a kind word for strangers, and everything that they touch grows. They’re the ones who know what it’s like to go without and instead of becoming bitter, they try to find ways to make sure other people don’t know how bad that feels.

These people don’t care what religion you practice, or if you’re religious at all. They don’t care whether they know you or like you, and they don’t care whether they approve of some aspects of your life. Your personal beliefs, your personal business, and things about your personality don’t matter to them. They just give a fuck. You find them in public, in churches, mosques, temples, groves, covens, at the store, next door to you, and in various random places in public or on the Internet.

Our religion doesn’t make us good people, and sometimes it can make us a terrible people. I’m seeing the same problem at our Pagan groups that I saw in the Christian churches- people believe that how they identify religiously makes them superior, so they forget to be good people. They think they have it covered. No, we don’t.

I could sit up and complain about feeling forgotten, but I’m telling you right now countless people have already expressed that feeling to me. It is nothing personal. It’s just the way that some people are. I made the mistake of allowing myself to believe that Pagans in general were better people. This reality check was a long time coming. I have more in common with Pagans, but that doesn’t mean that we’re better than Christians or members of any other religion.

In some ways, maybe we’re worse. Maybe since we understand the deep connection that human beings have with the earth and we still harm the earth that makes us more harmful than the people who don’t understand. Maybe so many of us that have left Christianity because we felt discriminated against are worst people when we discriminate. Maybe since we know how magic works, we are worsethan the people who don’t when we don’t use it well.

So I’m back to square one for the third time now. Isolated from my faith community. I’m not sure where this discovery is going to take me, but it took three times for the universe to teach me the lesson that walking away from an ugly religion into another one was not going to make me a better person by itself. It doesn’t matter where I go who I’m surrounded with. I’ve always looked for inclusion, and I found it in some ways and in other ways I haven’t. Along the journey I’ve discovered that everybody else is looking for the exact same thing. Everybody wants to belong, and everybody is always searching for the people who they feel like they belong with.

When the universe presents you with a lesson, what do you do with it? When it’s a long-term lesson like the one the universe is teaching me, there’s nothing to do but listen. We can’t control the way the things are, and controlling our reaction to things only goes so far sometimes. Sometimes we just have to be silent and wait for the teaching. That’s where I am today.

Always walk with your eyes and your heart open to the truth. Don’t let your preconceived beliefs lead you on a wild goose chase to find answers that aren’t there. Never believe that certain groups of people are safer to be around than others, because the potential for good and bad lies within all of us. There are people in so called good groups who do horrible things. Even the people in the groups that you consider bad will do some of the kindest things for you.

We are all very different, but we share some similarities simply because we’re all human. My prayer for you is that your journey through your faith community leads you to nurturing, love, and support surrounded by people who can’t do without you. If you find yourself in a non-supportive environment, my prayer for you is that you will have the strength to accept it and excuse yourself. My prayer for you is that you never have the unrealistic expectations that I have had, by that I mean that you would find a faith community filled with good people who would never do the horrible things that some bad people and faith communities do. Because if you do, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

May you always remember that that which you seek will never be found by you unless you realize that it is already within you. The love of the divine is a very personal thing that you can’t necessarily experience through other people. Group magic is much more powerful than individual magic, but there’s going to come a time when it’s not available to you. My prayer for you is that you always learn to cultivate the power within yourself and you never have to rely on others for magic.

We are all the embodiment of the mother goddess and the father god. Together we really are more powerful, but true unity is difficult to find. Where do you find it is a blessing, but when you can’t find it reach within yourself to be your own strength. That strength is there.

Blessed Be.

 

Lady Saoirse is a practicing witch, and initiated Wiccan of an Eclectic Tradition.

A recovered Catholic, she was raised to believe in heaven and hell, that there is only one god, and only one way to believe. As she approached her late 20’s, little things started to show her this was all wrong. She was most inspired by the saying “God is too big to fit into one religion” and after a heated exchange with the then associate pastor of the last Xtian church she attended, she finally realized she was in no way Xtian, and decided to move on to see where she could find her spiritual home.

Her homecoming to her Path was after many years of being called to The Old Ways and the Goddess, and happened in Phoenix, Arizona. She really did rise from her own ashes!

Upon returning to Ohio, she thought Chaos Magic was the answer, and soon discovered it was actually Wicca. She was blessed with a marvelous mentor, Lord Shadow, and started a Magical Discussion Group at local Metaphysical Shop Fly by Night. The group was later dubbed A Gathering of Paths. For a few years, this group met, discussed, did rituals, fellowship, and volunteering together, and even marched as a Pagan group with members of other groups at the local gay Pride Parade for eight years.

All the while, she continued studying with her mentor, Lord Shadow, and she became a Third Degree High Priestess in 2022 and is a Priestess of the Temple of the Goddess. She belongs to the Black Dragon Clan. She does readings, Sabbats, and classes in her hometown in Ohio. She has been with PaganPages.org since 2016 and writes for Green Egg, SpiritualBlossom, and Mysticsense.