The Jealous Girlfriend
“A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn’t get jealous when someone has your attention it’s because someone has hers. “
This was a status message that I read a few weeks ago on facebook. Surprised? Facebook seems to have a lot of these random pieces of ‘wisdom’. I use the word wisdom in quotations because while others may view this message as such, I do not. Wonder why? Well, let me explain why I do NOT in any way view these words as wisdom.
First, I want to explore the definition of the word jealous. Jealous means an intolerance or hostility towards a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage. Does jealousy seem like a good or positive trait to possess to you? Does it sound like a trait that goes hand in hand with faithfulness? Absolutely not. At least not in my opinion and here in this column is what you will read about … my opinion.
So what does faithfulness mean? Well, faithfulness means being steadfast or unwavering with affection and in this case the affection we are addressing is love.
So with these definitions of jealous and faithfulness in mind let’s dissect the first part of the above quote, which describes the subject of this bit of ‘wisdom’ – the girlfriend. Now this girlfriend is a female gendered individual who is (according to the definition of jealous) intolerant or holds some hostility toward another (presumably) female because the girlfriend believes that the other female has some advantage that she herself does not possess. In the above quote this advantage is the attention of the undirectly mentioned boyfriend behind the ‘your attention’ as this bit of wisdom was for his benefit. And because the girlfriend feels this hostility towards this other female that means that she is unwavering in her love for her boyfriend.
So if I follow the thoughts that the quote is encouraging me to then: your girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend if she gets jealous when you look or speak to another girl because if she didn’t then that means she’s too busy to care because she is looking or talking to another guy. If she does get jealous then all her attention is only on you as you look or speak to another girl. So she must really care about you. YAY! You’re the man!
Seriously?! How messed up is that?
I suggest that if your girlfriend is confident in herself, in the relationship the two of you have nurtured together, if she trusts you and respects herself then she would not get jealous. Jealousy originates within the emotion of fear. Faithfulness originates from a place of love. Fear is the polar opposite of love. So how could your girlfriend truly love you and remain faithful to you if she is coming from a place of fear? Jealously has no bearing on faithfulness. An individual can remain faithful and still be jealous. While the two may be byproducts of each other they are not exclusive.
If your girlfriend does get jealous then I suspect that there is a lack of communication going on in the relationship. There are things that should be discussed if you want the relationship to last. A jealous girlfriend is not the sign of a faithful girlfriend. A jealous girlfriend is the sign of an unhappy girlfriend. If your girlfriend doesn’t get jealous when someone has your attention perhaps she trusts you and she is aware that you have relationship based on trust, honesty, fidelity, respect and love not because someone else has her attention.