Monthly Columns

Communing with the Essence

The Key to Respectfully Communing Essence-ly —


Our sensitivity can at first feel as though it is a curse, a defect that proves there is something wrong with us. It can also lead us into the dissolve of barriers and boundaries, naming us as Empaths, where we feel and sense, and oftentimes absorb the world around us even to our detriment. Our sensitivity can make us sick and take on other peoples troubles. It can also lead us into understanding that we are energetic Spiritual Beings that are ultimately One. It can also remind us that we are uniquely separate entities choosing to be alive as an individual at this time in our incarnation. We are both.

Recently I’ve encouraged myself and others to fold a piece of paper in half, down the middle, then open it back up. On the left side write all the Yang (masculine) qualities of being sensitive and on the right side of the line write down the Yin (feminine) qualities of being sensitive. You can imagine the Yang being the light or sun side and the Yin being the shadow or moon side. You could even write “positive” and “negative” qualities and go from there. It’s important to note these are not necessarily good or bad / right or wrong, but they can be perceived as such. We’ve all heard of making pro’s and con’s lists, this would also work to bring about greater awareness into our perceived sensitivity. For instance my sensitivity makes me feel things stronger, which in turn gets my nervous system into states of panic, fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, which then lowers my immune system’s function and I get sick. Every sickness I’ve ever experienced including physical aches and pains, like sciatica have been connected to my sensitivity, especially in relationship dynamics with loved ones. It has also been what connects me to Nature, Spirit, and my clients, friendships, and creative pursuits. There are two sides to everything, we just need to remember that when we feel stifled, stuck, depleted, and broken.

Communing with the Essence requires a lowering of our guard, an opening of our perception, and an energetic connection with “others”. I have found this to be most effective when we first establish a strong and healthy connection with Self first. For those of you, like me, born energetically sensitive with little if not any boundaries, you’ll have to start forming this relationship with Self once you realize how little, if any, you might actually have. You may have felt like you don’t know where you end and where another begins or what is “your” stuff vs what is “theirs”. These are indications that you have lost touch with yourself in the name of relating to others, even if just momentarily. For sensitive empathic people this happens often even several times a day. So we must first pause, separate, ground, clear, and reestablish our sense of autonomy.



Let’s do a short recapitulation exercise to help us clear energetic ties and enmeshment in our relationships so we can feel alive and whole within our mind and body.

Close your eyes if it’s safe to do so. Breathe into your heart or the center of your heart, your heart chakra. Tell yourself you are safe and protected. Relax your shoulders, teeth, forehead, and belly. Feel your feet on the floor or the ground below you. Imagine facets on the bottom of the soles of your feet and imagine turning the facet handles counterclockwise to release all stress and tension from your mind and body. Imagining the stress pouring out of your soles into the earth to be composted. Breathe. Soften. Relax. When you’re ready imagine a ruby red crystal in the center of the earth shining brightly. Imagine this bright light shining up through the layers of the earth into the soles of your feet and up your legs into your whole body. Feel the earth’s energy flowing within and around you. Slowly imagine closing the facets at the soles of your feet clockwise until they are closed. Radiate in this safe and grounded energy.

Now imagine a situation or person where you recently felt upset, drained, or emotionally misunderstood. Allow the first one to enter into your mind. Just one. When you can imagine it, imagine them to your right and you are to their left. On your exhale blow out through your mouth, turning your head towards your right – towards them, and releasing all of their energy back to them. Breathe in through your nose, turning your head to the left and calling all your energy back to yourself. You are calling back all of your energy that got left with them or the situation, breathing it in. Breathe out through your mouth, turning your head to the right, and releasing all of “their energy”, all that you stored in your body which was theirs and returning it back to them. Breathe in through your nose, turning your head to your left, and calling all your energy back. Keep doing this slowly and deliberately. Repeat for a few minutes. Breathe in your energy. Breathe out theirs.

This is recapitulation. I learned it as a Toltec practice when I was young from Elders in my community. It’s important we do this with traumatic situations and sexual experiences, but also with our friends, clients, colleagues, children, spouse, partner, and family. It doesn’t have to just be difficult people or experiences. It’s good to do this daily as a way of clearing and staying centered in any relationship, even after a long workday.

Having utilized this practice myself for over 25 years I’ve learned the respect that this practice carries. We each need our energy to be whole, otherwise we feel fragmented, scattered, lost, confused, and depleted. The healthiest thing we can do for ourselves and our relationships are to come into true union which requires us each to be ourselves. If I’m in a relationship with someone it must mean I exist. You have to exist too in order to make true connections. So we learn to be separate individuals with our own unique paths and sets of beliefs and customs. We learn to allow others the same autonomy and space to be themselves and now we can meet each other without taking from one another or getting enmeshed. This is how communicating Essence to Essence gets established in healthy and respectful ways. Even our goodbyes are sacred. We release the connection reverently, the same way we form our union. That way the Essence of the tree stays with the tree after I leave and the Essence of me comes home with me.

Our sensitivity might make it easier for some of us to open ourselves to others, but we have to learn the boundaries and the respect that comes with our gifts. Even if we were born this way it doesn’t mean we don’t have to develop it properly to use it without harm or manipulation. We learn to use our gifts wisely and by choice. If we are open all the time with no boundaries, we can overstep the line and it leaves an open invitation for others to do the same. When we learn to turn on and off our gifts, to use them consciously, and to not use them unconsciously we begin to see and feel the power that lives within these inherent gifts. We turn our pain into purpose and our sensitivity no longer depletes us but strengthens us. With all things this takes time and dedication and above all else a commitment to never abandon ourselves in the name of relating to another ever again. Self abandonment is the first warning sign that you have left the relationship and need to come back in order to be present in the interplay or exchange of energy once again.

As fun as it is to channel and make intimate connections with Spirit, animals, persons, elements, or crystals, etc. it is vital we form this intimate connection with ourselves as the foundation and basis for all other relating. In energy medicine and most esoteric studies and metaphysics the first rule of thumb is Do No Harm. There is a responsibility of each practitioner and participant to hold healthy boundaries. We’ve all heard, “It takes two to tango”. When we are each in our own embodiments and then an agreement gets established, we can play with dissolving the lines and barriers for a time being with mutual consent, but eventually we must return to ourselves and give the energy back in order to pay our respect and appreciate the beauty of the diversity and unity. With every hello there is also a goodbye. Within all of life there are polarities, the Yin and the Yang. We become sensitive and aware of these interplays in order to flow and become fluid within them.

A few useful steps on this journey of Essence to Essence communication are: Ground. Connect to Self. Release “other”. Become present. Then consciously choose where to place your attention. This respectful “relating” is where we as humans learn to operate from before developing our skills beyond this point. This point is like a building block. It is necessary before integrating more, after all, before two there was One. This is the key to respectfully communing Essence-ly.

Written, recorded, and photographed by Nicole Lynn
FLOE; Facilitating Love On Earth











About the Author:

Nicole Lynn lives in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with her husband and fur babies. She is a Nature lover where everything she does centers around her connection to Nature and Spirit. She is an Intuitive counselor/life coach with many certifications in holistic healing modalities. Nicole broke away from traditional psychotherapy back in 2015 and started leading nature-based sessions, Shamanic journeys, meditations, and what She calls, Soul Sessions. She specializes in Mind, Body, Spirit integration and living from an embodied place of Wholeness. Nicole Lynn is a Soul Writer in the field of Higher Consciousness embodiment and the creator of the new Mushroom Medicine Oracle deck as well as four books for our “Inner and Outer” Children; I am a Child of the Forest, Spring is Here, Faeries; Light Reflecting Particles in Motion, and Where Angels come to Sing inside You & Me.

Nicole’s Mission is to help humanity remember the Purity and Power of their Divine Essence integrated into physical form.

Nicole Lynn at FLOE; Facilitating Love On Earth