Rebel Rede

Coming Out of the Broom Closet

(Very slowly and one foot at a time)

If there is one thing the Pagan community has in common with the GLBT community it is being stuck in “the closet.” It still amazes me how many Pagans I meet who are struggling with coming out about their Paganism and witchcraft practices. I know their pain all too well. I am still in the broom closet with my immediate family. My family is super Conservative Christian and they have made it clear that if I even show an interest in Wicca or anything like “that” I will be disowned. It is extremely painful to hear your parents say that. I am still struggling with whether or not to come out to them. On one hand I want to be completely honest with them, to be true to myself and to be proud of my beliefs. On the other hand though, I do not know if I am ready to be completely cut off from my entire family. I already lost all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins when I married my non-Christian husband. My mother, father, and brother are all I have left on my side of the family. It is definitely a tough decision and one I stress about all the time. I feel like I am betraying myself and my Deities every time I hide my altar tools when my parents come to visit. For now that is what I choose to do though, even if it causes me pain, but I know that someday I will not have to do that. Someday I will be completely out of the broom closet!  I do not know when that day will be, but I do know that at least it is my choice when that day will be.

When coming out of the broom closet it is important to remember that every person’s circumstances are unique. What worked for one person may not work for another person. Every Pagan has to come out of the broom closet at their own pace, in their own way, and in their own time! I may not be completely out of the broom closet yet, but I have learned some good tips along the way.

Tip number one: never be completely one hundred percent in your broom closet and never be alone in there. Humans are social animals we need to feel loved and accepted. If you are not able to come out to your friends or family, at least find one person you can share your Pagan beliefs with. The internet has become a great resource for many Pagans. Find a Pagan online friend, set up a secret Pagan blog, or have an openly Pagan social network account (like Facebook) under a false name. Bottom line you need to have at least one Pagan shoulder to cry on, so to speak.

Tip number two: if you cannot come out to your family find someone (or somewhere) that you can come out to in person. While online Pagan friends are a great resource there is just something freeing about telling someone in person that you are Pagan. Find a local meetup group that is Pagan friendly, come out to your co-workers, tell your yoga instructor, or tell the random cashier the next time you are paying at a store.  It does not matter necessarily who you tell the point is to just tell someone. Think of it as practice. Practice coming out of the broom closet to strangers and someday when you come out to your family it will be much easier.

I can tell you from personal experience that all of these tips and ideas do work. I am still in the broom closet with my parents, but that does not mean I am in the closet with everyone else. My husband and his entire family know I am a practicing Pagan and witch. I am completely out of the closet at my work as well, in fact, I am an ambassador for the Pagan community at my job. I am in charge of running the Pagan booth and events on our diversity days at work. It is really fun and such a nice feeling to know I am making a difference for my Pagan community, even if my parents do not know what I am up to. I am an avid Pagan blogger, writer, and have a whole support system of Pagan friends online and in my local community. I may be in the broom closet still, but I am definitely not lonely in there! I am slowly making my way out of my broom closet, even if it is only one foot at a time!